Asking her dads blessing/permission ?

I see it as a respect towards the parents as well as the family as a whole. It is he who is entering her family (vice versa etc) and I believe it shows respect by him asking her parents. I agree with you that it is nice! I know my hubby asked my parents before asking my hand in marriage. LoL he about made both my mom and dad cry. The day I have children and its time for them to get married I expect their significant other to come ask my hubby and I as well.

Depends on the age- I was 30 and haven't lived at home for 10 years..... My mother even commented when your older is a bit strange because they wouldn't want to be involved or know before me. So he didn't ask and it worked out fine because in the end it's my decision. I understand the "respect" thing but my family isn't really into that. Plus we owned a house together so everyone just assumed it.

I think for older people it's kinda stupid and out of date. When you 17-25, I think sometime it's better. I know several parents whom have told the guy NO, wait a few years. LOL

Keep in mind too- Mine was not a true surprise- we sat down and talked about it, what we wanted, where we thought we would be in 10, 15 and 20 years. We made a lot of important budget decision up front. And I picked out a few styles of rings because what I put on my body is very important to me and the industry I work in (fashion).

Some people find it disrespectful given how far women have come in history. I can understand that. But I see it more as a gesture of goodwill than actually asking for permission. In some cases, I doubt the girls parents care. But in other cases, the gesture can go a long way towards making a good impression on them. It just depends on the people involved.

These days, I highly doubt a guy would ask her father if they didnt get along in the first place.

I am 100% with you!! I personally agree whole-heartedly with this tradition. My boyfriend just purchased a ring for me, and I sincerely hope he speaks to my father before he surprises me with a proposal!! I am the oldest child and will be the first to get married, so I know it will mean alot to him that my boyfriend seeks his approval first.

My boyfriend and I are currently living together, and even though I bet my parents know this is coming someday, it is hardly uncalled for.

Asking permission to marry shows respect and good manners, and sets the whole tone of the engagement and wedding off on the right foot. What if it was flipped around and it was her daughter waiting to be asked? I'm sure this co-worker would appreciate being asked first if she was in that position.

My husband asked my father for permission. This was back in May 2000. We already been dating for 2yrs, however my husband asked out of the respect of my parents. When he asked my father I was 18, my husband was 23.

I don't see anything wrong with it. Now a days, no matter what that answer will be, couples will get getting married anyways.

outdated and meaningless because as you pointed out if they have already decided to marry they aren't going to stop seeing each other if dad says "no".

I view it as also insulting to the woman because it is a throw back to when women were their nearest male relative's property and if she has been self supporting (as I have been since I was 18), this disrespects her autonomy and infantizes her.

a modern and more respectful tradition (to everyone involved) would be to have the couple announce to their family that they are marrying or for the young man to tell the parents that he plans to ask her to marry him, but he is not asking their permission. He is only clarifying his intentions.

I think it is a little outdated but a nice way to respect the parents. My boyfriend asked my dad for permission to marry me I thought it was really sweet that he would do that out of respect for my dad.

I agree, I think it is a sign of respect and it's very admirable of the guy to want to ask her Dad. Now, if the guy knows the Dad doesn't like him, that would be where it would be a bad idea.

I wouldn't hold it against a guy if he doesn't do it, just because it isn't as common anymore.

My fiance and I went together to talk to my parents about it. It wasn't a surprise for me, so I didn't have a problem going to talk with my parents together. If its a surprise, however, I think the guy should maybe ask permission!

My wife is Vietnamese and I had to ask her dad whom I had never met. Talk about awkward. It's just the way that some people operate. I'm glad that I did, he speaks very little English but I think it went a long way into building my friendship with him.