Before I sign off for a while, I have to confront this...?

Hey JAM,

I don't think you should EVER think what you were thinking. First, from a foster kids perspective (1) they have a stable and loving home with two people that care so much about them and even cared about their bio-mother and (2) they are growing up with their siblings!

Both of these things are unlikely occurances for kids that are foster kids. And you made it possible for them.

Money does not buy happiness....love, caring, understanding, and kindness brings happiness. While it is important to have the "necessities;" some of the BEST times of all are just spent being together.

Nobody is perfect, no situation is perfect .... if anything, you guys have been "perfect" for stepping up and taking in a large sibling group. That rocks!

Good luck with your internship. Have fun with Sarah and the kids, spending time together!!!!

Actually, there was a part of the original question that I didn't notice until after the Best Answer had been selected. The way the question was stated, I believe, was that it asked if the Natural Parents could sue for Breach of Contract? The Natural Parents CANNOT sue for Breach of Contract, because a Surrender is not a contract. In order for a document to be a legal contract, there are certain criteria that must be met. A Contract is only valid if both sides are bound by it, or that one side agrees to do something, and the other side will be compensated in some way, usually financially. Since the Natural Parents receive nothing for Surrender, it does not meet this legal criteria, therefore it is not a legal contract. If it is not a legal contract we cannot sue for breaching it. Therefore, the whole point is moot.

Good luck to you in the future with your internship, and enjoy your holidays. Your concern about this probably means that the replies don't apply to you.

You have been doing a fantastic job, and I'm sure she would approve. We've heard the question many times before, and financial status is just a temporary problem. Your education not only sets a great example, it is also making your financial future much better.

The fact that you have been here reading, answering, and questioning things means you're smart enough to ask for help if you need it. I know people with genius IQ's who are the world's most stupid parents, because they don't answer with their heart, which I think you do.

We all need a break from here at times. Quite frankly, we all need breaks from our lives no matter what part it is. Rarely, I put my son in daycare for a day. He gets to play with other kids, and quite frankly, I'm a better mom because I get a break every once in a while. The difference is, it's a temporary break, never for very long. You are the main reason anyone should adopt, because you took in children to give them the best that you've got, which is love. Money can't buy happiness, all it does is relieve a few problems. You can always get internet access at the library, so keep up with your user names, etc, we need you here. Take care, Merry Christmas, and hug those kids like Teresa would want you to.

Most children don't get to pick their parents. Many women would have picked different fathers for their kids. Teresa not only picked you with a clear head, knowing how you would love these kids, but I'm sure her kids had input into the decision also. She answered your questions before she passed, because she guided her kids to you. That's what she wanted, and I feel she feels blessed knowing they're loved. Take care, and come back soon!

No home is perfect, so I'm sure yours isn't either. But you've given these children a loving home where they can be with their siblings. That's worth a lot.

As I understand your situation, Teresa was aware of and supported the adoption? So I think you KNOW what she thought of you as a parent. Teresa is a unique person, not just a generic first mom that every potential statement applies to, and I don't think you should take that question as relating to you-- your situation is pretty different from a mother relinquishing to private infant adoption.

You knew Teresa before she passed away. You knew what she wanted for her children... and you're providing that.

Dear Just a Mom,

Growing up poor didn't bother me at all. It made me more creative. What bothered me was the abuse.

I would have traded every personal possession i had just to be loved.

Remember foster care is different and keeping a huge sibling group like you have is different. Both say so much about you and your character. You have my respect and admiration.

I believe the argument is with domestic adoption/international adoption. Especially here in America where a young mother is promised her child will have a better life with a married more financially stable couple. That is not a fair argument because money can't buy love. If the child stayed with her/his single mother they may not have designer clothes or a college fund but they would have the love of their mother.

Happy holidays to you. Good luck on your internship!

Dear Just a Mom,

I remember those questions because I tried to think of answers but could not because there is no way to measure a "perfect" home. And for the first mom to sue, she would have to prove that she could have provided a "more perfect" home. It is a non sequitur.

Judging from your participation here, IMHO she would not feel jipped. Did she chose you for your heart values or your bank values? I am guessing for your heart values? In that case, you are WAAAYY in the plus side of the ledger.

You will be missed. Looking forward to when you are back on line (thus hired!).

Money isn't what most kids need. Money in fact seems to be the one thing that causes confusion as to whether a child is in a good home or not. Teresa's children are exactly where she would like them to be. They are with people who care enough not to throw money at a situation and try to call it better. Good luck and hury back

it's not your fault that she is hiding her phone, won't go out with you, stays at till 2am without you, and freaks out during confrontation. probably cheating for sure. You have every right to be suspicious of her. Well for me, being a female, if i'm hiding something and someone confronts me about it, i'm definitely going to get angry and offensive. If i wasn't hiding something I would just be calm and civil about it because I wouldn't have anything to get that worked up over.

Just a Mom: the question was not relevant to the adoption of children in foster care who are in need of a stable and loving home, which is what you are providing regardless of your financial status.

The purpose of the question was to point out the absurd notion that young women should automatically give their infants to wealthier people who will fulfill their every material desire (that's the sales pitch, anyway).

Modern day adoption agencies spend an incredible amount of time and effort on convincing young women that they will be unfit mothers, poor, abusive, etc., when no such evidence exists that this is true. They further insist that the adoptive family will be perfect in every way, and money is an important part of this so-called perfection.

That was the gist of the question - to highlight the tactics used by agencies and to point out the impossibility of offering a perfect life to an infant by giving him up for adoption (especially if finances are the main motivation).

None of this applies to your situation.

I remember that question, but did not get a chance to read it. I am going to assume that it was directed towards adoptees that have abusive or neglectful AP's.

Since you had the opportunity to get to know Theresa she was able to see how you parented her children. I agree with your partner that Theresa wanted her kids loved and to be able to stay together. You two sound like you are doing a great job and I bet Theresa would be happy with how you are raising her children!!

Good luck on your internship!!