My dad ruined christmas last night..THIS IS LONG, SORRY?

1st of all, I am really sorry. 2nd, I know this must be so hard for you and your brother but I believe it would be better if you focus on your mom right now. I think you need to try to talk her into leaving him, cause is not only that he doesn't love her anymore, he is hurting her! both in a psychological and physical way cause if she is ill this is not good for her at all!! I know its not gonna be easy, but in my opinion that's the best for her, and then, you should try to get your dad some professional help, I mean like a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I think this is going to be the hardest part (cause of all the things you describe) Im thinking family intervention or something? talk to a psychologist and tell him/her about this, so you get some guidance on how to approach him and get a successful result. Good luck, you´re a good person for trying to keep your family together,most people just make a life apart. Tell us how it goes.

I doubt if you will ever be able to change the way your dad is..I'm also sure that your mom knows about his "girlfriend" but for reasons that are known only to her she lets him get away with it. She may be one of those wonderful women who believe in the wedding vows that say "for better or worse, richer or poorer" etc. And does her best to keep her family together. My advice to you would be to listen when your mom wants to vent her frustration, offer your opinion when she asks and give her all the love and support you can. At this point giving your dad a piece of your mind may only make things worse for your mom and you., nothing will be solved... he will only become more abusive and bitter to all of you..he sounds like a deeply depressed and unhappy man who takes it out on every one around him. This may be because of his alcohol abuse,and the humiliation of having his sick wife support the family. To make him feel more manly he has a little plaything on the side or forgets his troubles with booze and video games. (He may feel that at least he can have control over something in his life by spending too much time with these games). If he won't go to conseling maybe you and your mom could go and at least get the support and help you need to get through this. I wish all the best..

Im probably going to regret saying this, break the game counsol. No not really. There is nothing you can really do. Im afraid your dads going to hit you.

Your mom probably already knows something is going on, she would not mention it to you though.

Many women feel trapped and would rather be with a man than alone no matter how they get treated. Happens all the time to good women. It happens just the opposite too. With moms doing this.

Im sorry your having to witness this. Stay out of the adults lives, and let them deal with it is all I can really say. If mom wants to do something about this she will.

First try, less than a second. Within three tries I got past a minute. I can totally see how this is used for fighter pilot screening testing as I started training with the Royal Canadian Air Force a few years ago. Didn't complete the selection process successfully, but it was a very cool learning experience.

There are two solutions one he needs counseling but by what you say about him there is now way he would agree to that. The second is your MOM NEEDS TO GET A DIVORCE. And after the divorce find someone who is going to treat her descent along with her kids. If he does not want to be in your life and your brothers there is nothing that you can do to force him. Ignore him and see if he comes to you. How can anyone live the way that your mother is living who really deserves to live that way.

Your mom needs to move out! He needs to be aleinated from his family for about 6-10 months and he will maybe appreciate having a family. He is self centered and only cares about himself. I would tell your mom to come to your home and that you plan to stay away from him until he can show some love and respect! My father was this same way, it is hard but even though he was our father we told him straight up finally our feelings, it never changed him but we had a new respect for OURSELVES!

If you live in a decently home invite your mother to move in with you, your father doesn't work so probably can't afford to pay the house bills so he will probaly run to your mother or that Stacy woman. But maybe in the long run he will see how much he needs you guys....?

The definition of stupidity is "continuing to do the same thing you've always done, and expecting different results." Aren't you all tired, tired, tired, of waiting for your father to change?

YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR FATHER; YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELVES.

This man doesn't want to change, and he has no reason to, because he's got his whole family around him, making excuses for him, and catering to him in an effort to keep him happy. Why would he want to change - his behavior is getting him what he wants.

Take your Mom to an Al-Anon meeting. Your whole family needs help. You cannot handle this alone.

I'm sorry for your pain. Please, call Al-Anon.

Wow, thats horrible!

You should try to get to your dad, and talk to him. Be like Hey Dad, Can I Talk to you? And if he just gets all angry, Just tell him straight up your sick of his rotten attitude. You guys should just kick him out of the house. He's just making the atmosphere at that house horrible.

Its fantastic that you are supporting your mum and all, but in reality it is up to your mum to change what she can- you getting involved is only making things worse for her (which that showed by your dads reaction to your comments when he was on the phone) my advice to you is to stay clear of things and let THEM work out their own problems.