Can someone help us put our child to sleep?

Wow, some interesting answers so far. Some of your answers sound like parents who would say..."I'm leaving now" while pretending to leave without their children. That sends a strong message...they will be left behind = you don't care about them. If their children were disciplined properly, then they wouldn't have to threaten them to have them obey. Those parents are ruling by fear. Do you want your son to fear you and think he is unworthy of your time and attention?

My children are 5 and 7. My boy, the eldest, seems to need more closeness. It may be because I did lay down with him to go to sleep. His father and pediatrician suggested to let him scream it out. Anyway...

The Children's Hospital trauma Center Counselor's say:

A - acknowledge the child's feelings

C - communicate the limits

T - suggest an alternative

My suggestion for you is a process to ween him off that habit, while still practicing the ACT rule. Acknowledge his feelings and Instead of laying down, just sit on the bed rubbing his back, communicating the limits and this is the alternative. Be sure not to look at him. Then a night or two later, gradually stop rubbing his back leaving your hand on him. You're still right there, not looking at him, but there and he will feel safe.

Then start removing your hand before he's asleep, but you're still next to him in the chair. After he is used to that, move the chair towards the door a little. Move the chair further toward the door, then in the threshold of the door. The important thing is to acknowledge his feelings, communicate the limits of desirable behavior and follow through with the alternatives. You will be reassuring him that you are there for him.

Remember: he is not a "bad" boy, only his "behavior" is bad.

My son is the same age and I had the same problem for the longest time. As you know reasoning doesn't ever really work for a child, they want what they want. Instead of cutting him cold turkey try limited your time with him, start with a bed time story, followed by a sip of water afterwards, rub his back for a minute and sit for a moment or two then let him know that you are going to x room but you need him to be a big boy for you. The next night do the same routine but tell him that if he doesn't lay down etc then no bed time story. Try this for a few nights, after awhile the only thing you will need to do is just the bed time story and a hug goodnight. This will take some time, the child will sense if you are patient of not. If you get frustrated it will only cause for him to react even more. Good luck!

Put him to bed with a story, then say goodnight, turn off the light, shut the door. He will cry, but you have to leave him if you want to acheive this. If he opens the door and comes out, pick him up and say nothing, apart from maybe No, or Bad or something. Put him back into bed, turn out the light, shut the door. And repeat again and again and again... eventually, he will understand. We did this with our daughter at 2 and a half, and it took about two days for her to stop, although we still had some nights where she did it. In about 2 weekd, she had stopped completely.

You are just gonna have to tough it out, if you know he's not hurting or in danger then you also know his screaming is a method to control you (his situation). Make bedtime routine and stick to it NO MATTER WHAT. put him to bed, check on him after five minutes, do not pick him or lay down with him, then ten minutes, then fifteen and so forth increase five minutes after each check in. Took three nights for my son, five for my youngest daughter. My oldest never picked up that habit.

Reassure him, kiss him, hug him, tell him where you'll be but that he must go to sleep. He'll be fine.

He's only 3 - just lay down with him! As he gets older, you can begin to work on gradually reducing his need for comfort at bedtime. For instance, at 3, my daughter needed me to lie down with her. At 4, I sat next to her instead. At 5, I sat with her for 3 songs (on her lullaby cd). Now she's 6 and is fine with just getting tucked in and kissed goodnight.

Denying a young child the comfort he needs is likely to make him more insecure and needy, not less.

Why can't you just lay with him until he falls asleep? I'm not trying to be rude but he's a three year old and if he just wants some comfort at bedtime I don't see why you wouldn't do what you could. He won't want it when he's 10 he'll outgrow it on his own and isn't it part of parenting to be there for your child whether it's 10am or 10pm? Thirty minutes seems an awfully short amount of time to even quibble about.

i know its hard also but they say the best thing you can do is let him cry it may last up to 3 nights mabey 5 but it does work get him a night light and a stuffed anmial thats what helped my friends baby

There is really not much you can do but stop. My son slept in my bed with me till he was 2 and when I tried to make him sleep in a bed by himself it took 3 night of screaming. I know it is hard but as far as I know it is the only way it can be done.

Cody - I know you just said that to get a rise out of us, but if I knew who you were and where you live I'd have the police at your doorstep. Not funny at all...

my friend had that problem her lil boy is almost 3 but they have a teddy bear im not sure if they have any other kinds besides a bear but he has a heartbeat and he didn't know the difference its called a cuddle cub