Adoptees: was your name changed?

My OBC says 'Baby Girl'.

As a BSE baby - that was the practice of the time.

I haven't been able to ask my mother if she had another name in mind - she's been too traumatised by the whole ordeal.

She married my father 6 months after I was born - then had 2 sons and then a daughter. I often wonder if that would have been my name.

I do think names are important.

The hard things with adoptees is to work out if the child likes the new name because they are trying to please - or if they really mean it. Perhaps views change often - just as my own views of my whole adoption experience changed often throughout my youth.

I think it's great that you get how important asking these questions is.

I thank you for that.

Too many APs go into adoption having no thought about this matter.

Shame on adoption agencies for their lack of education programs about what really matters for the adoptees.

My husband's current name was given to him when he was adopted from foster care at age 14. He knows a name he had when he was an infant but he does not know if it was the original adoptive families given name or his mother's given name. The original adoptive parents threw him back into the system at age 4. (I know the reason but would rather not share it is despicable) His name, including when he was 14, was changed 5 times. When he went to an orphanage or what they call "centers" now, they would change his name. He was a foster to adopt case and they would change his name or start calling him the name before it was finalized only to have him be removed and put somewhere else. To cope, at a young age he was given a nickname by a friend in a "center" and he has been using that as his name ever since. That is what I call him as well.

I think that a name given to a child should not be tampered with. Through having our own children, I know that children begin to recognize their name prior to six months. Taking it away can be very confusing and detrimental psychologically. Some people handle it better than others of course. But too many people abuse the fact that they can just change a child's name so easily.

I'm sorry, but reunion is not possible so I can not share his story on that.

My godparents (AP's) left it to me what I did. I was 11, so my first name obviously wasn't changed. I took their surname and still use it now. They also said that if I wanted to, I could change my first name, as I'd expressed exasperation at 'Tiger Lily' for quite some time =P In the end, I decided it was easier to keep my full first name and just go by Lily. Less paperwork. My parents call me Lily, or Lillis if they want to annoy me.

My foster daughters (my nieces) will be free to do whatever they like with their last names. They're old enough to make the decision themselves. I know that the 8-year-old has expressed enthusiasm at changing her name, as she's brought it up unsolicited a number of times, even before adoption was in the discussion.

Yes it was.

I have three names -- the one my mother gave me, the one my father gave me (a Passamaquoddy name) and the one my a-parents chose.

I use my a-name and both natural parents call me that because I was 32 before I reunited. I never liked my name (especially because of all the 'nicknames' that can be made with it -- it's not that they are offensive, but they are all 'cutesy' -- like I'm still 3 years old. UGH!) but it's the only one I ever knew about so I didn't have a choice.

At this point (I'm 36 years old) I just think it would be a pain in the *** to change it. And, I'd have a hard time choosing one as my father is opposed to the name my mother chose (it's the feminine of his name) and my mother doesn't care for the name he chose -- I'd have to choose something completely different...so, why bother?

I was a foster-adoptee, entering my parents home at around 18 months, my adoption final around 3 years old. My a.parents let me keep my names - first & middle, adding their last name (of course).

I'm grateful to my a.parents for that! My first & middle names are the only 2 things that have been mine since the day I was born! The only 2 things that have never changed! Born, adopted, married, divorced, remarried.

'Course there was a while in Jr. High that I didn't like my name. But I got over it. When I met my 1st mom, I learned how my name was chosen, which made it even more special to me.

I was saddened when I first learned that some adoptees have their names changed, especially older adoptees. I'm most disturbed when I see much older IA adoptees given new, American names.

Some AP's seem to have carefully considered the name change. But those who change the names of older children just because they don't like it...well, kinda makes me sad for the kids.

But that's just me.

Honestly, my ap's didn't know my name. My natural mother did give me a name. I was named after both my natural parent's middle names. I've never seen the birth certificate, but I have the adoption papers, and my name was "Baby Girl." I doubt very seriously if the state recorded the name she listed on the application for my birth certificate.

In a twist of irony, my ap's named me after their middle names also.

My mother was upset. No one told her they would change my name. There was a truck load of things they never told her. That was just one of many. She calls me by my adoptive name. I have a hard time answering to anything else. Honestly. My daughter bears the name she gave me.

I had another name, also. In the BSE, we had to be held in foster care long enough to ensure we weren't physically defective. My amom knew my foster parents. The husband was her jeweler. My foster parents weren't allowed to call me by the name my mother gave me, either. So they gave me a name and I used the foster parents' surname until I was 5 1/2 months old. I grew up knowing what that name had been.

So while my mother was pregnant, I had one name. My first 5 1/2 months of life, I had another. Then, at long last, I finally got a name I could keep for more than a few months. If that's not enough to give a little kid an identity crisis, I sure don't know what is. ; )

ETA: Oh, and the identity crisis thing wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed at the era. At least your son knows his original name.

Adoptive parent here, but my children are too young to answer. I did not change their names, however, since we were in contact with the natural mothers before birth, we just discussed the names beforehand and we just agreed on what to name the child. That way, we knew their original families would be happy with their names, as were we, and they would always keep their names.

S's mother actually surprised that tar out of us...she actually gave S OUR last name. We had no idea she was going to do it before she did it, she just did it. With our other daughter, she gave her our agreed upon first name and used her maiden name as her last name. Luckily enough, her maiden name was also a commonly used girl's name, so we just used her maiden name as our daughter's middle name and added our last name.

Ok my answer is probably useless but it is pretty positive and I rarely get to talk about that part...

My mom didn't name me because she didn't think it would be right. She was pretty brainwashed by the time I was born and was trying to detach herself as much as possible BUT she does like my name as it is.

My son's name wasn't changed as far as I know. I saw him when he was 7 and they were calling him by the name I gave him so I'm confident it was kept the same. If for some reason it was changed I would be hurt for sure but not devastated. I would call him Pink Fuzzy Toes if he asked me to! A name is a name, it's the person who counts.

That was less positive that I thought. Oops.

My (adoptive) parents changed my name. I don't know if they were even told my given name. (I can't get a clear answer on that.) My (first) mom wanted my name kept as it had held special meaning for her. By the luck of the draw, they did give me that first name as a middle name, but not because they knew anything about that original name or why it was important to be kept.

My (first) family has called me by the name I grew up with. I think my (first) mom had hoped that my name wouldn't be changed, but she accepted my new name and didn't feel as though she had any right to complain.

I hope that helps some. I'm not sure if it does.

I was adopted at birth and my bio mom and my adopted mom kind of agreed upon it before I was born.I do know that my bio mom talked my amom out of naming me something crazy odd(at the time-now it's a really popular name).Isabella (with a last name like Kanizai)which is bad enough.It took me forever to figure out how to spell my last name as it was.Thanks,bio mom(Doris)!