Ways to help keep my son calm and to get him to listen to me and to his nana when she watches him? ?

With children with behaviour problems at work, we use a sit out procedure. When they do something wrong, or don't listen we tell them what they have done wrong eg. You pushed your friend or You are not listening to your teachers. And, they sit there until they have calmed down. It really works, as they do the right thing as they do not want to return to the chair and miss out on play.

When your son is at nana's house, tell him that if he does not listen to nana he will have to miss out on something, or will have to have sit out time, if nana can handle this procedure, otherwise the taking away of something he wants will work better.

Reminding him that he needs to look at your eyes and listen often will make him realise it is important, especially if you say "Mum wants you to listen to her, it makes her happy when you listen". Praise when he does listen would be great, something like, "Thankyou so much for listening to mum and putting your toys away, you made me so happy" then give him visual praise like smiling and give high fives.

I also read to children, when their mind starts to wander I ask them a question about the book. This is great for listening and concentration. Get books that your child would be really interested in.

When he is having sit out time, if he gets up return him back, reminding him why is there, and after the first time putting him back, no talking or eye contact. This will make him see you are serious, it is not a game and that you are the boss.

edit: Try getting down to his level, looking at him with stern eyes and a low tone voice and telling him what you need to. Tones are important. If you use a screeching high pitched voice he will get disruptive, as this is usually the praising tone.

3 1/2 is too young to determine if he has ADHD. My oldest was diagnosed the end of Kindergarten. He may just be testing boundaries and what your limitations are. Just keep reinforcing the rules and who is charge. I know it gets difficult at times, but hang in there.

Now, what works with our daughter is making lists/charts. He is old enough to use picture charts. Then as he gets older word charts. Set up a chart for a reward system. ie: good behavior, picking up toys, behaving at the dinner table, whatever it is he needs to work on. Then immediately afterwords, give him a sticker to put on the chart. Stick with it and soon it will become a habit for him. Once he is old enough you can have him tested by a doctor to see if he really is ADHD. My daughter is now almost 15 yrs old and we just right down a list for her when there is several things she needs to accomplish at a time. All she has to do is check them off as she completes the task. It will get easier as you learn what works for him/you. My other child, completely different(not ADHD). Just tell her and she gets it done. like I said, try different things to see what he responds to. Don't be afraid to tell him you don't reward bad behavior. That was also on our chart. She would have to make a black "X" under that category every time she acted out. Then at the end off the week, whatever the reward was depended on the out come of the chart. Usually, a trip to McDonalds, or renting a movie. Whatever it was, it was a family time kinda reward. I know this is long and hope it made sense to you. Good luck-

This site may have some suggestions. It could be ADHD, but keep in mind that a lot of the symptoms show up in kids that young without it being ADHD, and labeling your son may not be a smart thing to do. You should ask your doctor about it and see if s/he thinks it could be ADHD or if it's normal 3 year old presumptuousness.

I have been through some this with son and now a grandgirl. Things have improved as for testing, nutrtion, therapy whatever. Schools now have testing by persons suspossed to be specilized in this area.Perhaps check into this. If he/she falls in catagory then you will be notified and a plan put in place. Some things as easy as set scheldule , same homework, bath bed time, and less noise, distractions helps a lot. With granddaughter setting goals (that are easy to reach) and talking in one tone and sitting on floor during bad time, her level , mostly works. But here are 3 types if I remember correctly. So keep on researching and get all your rights as of education.

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