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Newlywed and only want to spend time with husband...?

My husband and I got married Oct 2008, and now it's nearly Feb of 2009. I feel like I want to spend all my time with him. I have a hard time going and doing things with church, and friends, family, etc. without him. I have a hard time committing to activities that I know I'll be doing without him. Is this a normal feeling to have? I feel like some people are tired of me always saying "no" to things because I'd rather be spending time with my husband. Is this a normal feeling when you are newly married, or do I need I just need to get over my fears and be more comfortable with doing things apart from him? I just feel like we already have so little time together (he spends 2 or more hours of every day in his commute) that I don't want to eat up any of the remaining time by doing things apart from him.

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Awwwww...that's sweet. I used to feel that way too, and am getting back to that point. I hope you can stay as deeply in love with him as the years progress, but don't be alarmed if familiarity starts to breed contempt, and whatever you do, don't cut off all of your friends, because you will have crises where you will need your girlfriends, and your husband just won't be able to give you a female perspective.

    In a nutshell...NO, there's nothing wrong with it. Just don't burn your other bridges by neglecting them.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you guys are both happy with it, what's the problem? It only becomes an issue when one of you is feeling suffocated. My husband and I always prefer doing things together rather than separately; we spend enough time apart where we don't feel like we're smothering each other. I know that my in-laws don't like doing stuff without each other, and they're far from being newlyweds (married for over 40 years). When your husband is your best friend, this is who you want to hang out with.

  • 5 years ago

    I'm in a totally similar situation, my husband is a real hermit. I mean, I've always considered myself rather anti-social - but between the two of us, I feel like a social butterfly sometimes! Most of our outings are planned/suggested by me, and involve "my" friends (meaning they are people I had known from before I was married; they are now "our" friends, of course). Every once in a blue moon, he will go to a trade show with his friends (usually something that has to do with electronics or computers, that I have no interest in) - even then, he will extend the invitation for me to go with him. Do I feel claustrophobic? No... I love it, actually. I'm very much a loner, and enjoy quiet time; it's great to have a mate who is similar to me in this respect (even if a bit more extreme). At home, we rarely get in each other's way - he is often busy with some home improvement project, or is writing software (he's a programmer/computer geek, big surprise there); I like to do my own thing much of the time - like hang out online, play videogames, read, cook. We give each other a lot of space, but always find ways to "re-connect" - be it eating dinner together, sharing a cup of tea, or discussing the meaning of life. We have a very harmonious relationship, I think - a good balance between "time together" and "time alone"; I wouldn't change a thing.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well it's not normal behavior for me because I'm an only child and I have grown to love my alone time. In fact, I'm most comfortable when I'm alone. I enjoy being married but those nights when my husband has to work late, I truly delight in getting that free time. I cherish it.

    I'd say learn to spend some time after from your husband - yes, you are a newlywed - but don't smother him.

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  • exotx
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I think this is natural feeling, but will be unhealthy in the long run. You need to keep up your separate life in order to maintain a balanced life. Plus, your husband won't want to be your WHOLE life. No one likes that for long. Just enjoy your time with him, but try to do something without him once a week or so to maintain your individualism. You also don't want to be dependent on him for your total happiness.

  • 1 decade ago

    its completely normal. trust me after a few years you guys will be dying to spend some time away from each other lol

  • 1 decade ago

    you sound so happy about it, and you seem both in harmony, so why think about what other people think if you siad no, this is the perfect ime for both of you, as the more time, the more busy you'll get, kids maybe, work, and stuff, so as you are...enjoy every moment with him, and God bless you both :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its normal.. your still newlyweds... and you are married now, so your priorities are different...

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