What do you think would be a fair solution?

Sorry this is so long...I live in a rent house, my b/f has a place of his own; however, we broke up for a short time last year and ended up back together. Since getting back together he has stayed at my house every night. We buy groceries together and he gives me money for utilities and other things if I ask. His place is now basically unlivable because he wasn't there taking care of things like turning the water on when it got below freezing, tending to the roof when he knew it needed repair, etc. I can get past all that but the problem is I am basically supporting him when it comes to a place to stay. He doesn't pay rent, he has no set financial responsibility towards the household bills, and it seems like I am supporting the two of us. He is a sub-contractor and can't work on some days like in the rain, or sometimes he doesn't have any houses lined up to do. On those days he is home all day using electricity, water, gas, etc. When he does get paid he makes pretty good money but he always quick to loan it out to friends or to help his sister out with expenses involving her child, not mandatory expenses either I'm talking about like paying for sports registration, buying equipment to play the sports, etc. He is a very "blood is thicker than water" kind of person, and has a huge phobia of committment. I'm not wanting him to marry me or anything I just need him to step up and help me pay the bills at my house that he stays at everyday and every night with me before he starts handing out money to others. Am I being selfish or unfair? Would it be rude for me to ask him for 1/3 of the bills and rent (I have two kids that visit every other weekend)? If I try to talk to him about it and site my reasons he will say I'm jealous of his family relationships and that he always gives me money when I need it. I feel like my money is ours and his money is his...that doesn't seem right to me? I need some advice from someone who isn't biased to me or him. Please no rude comments about my kids, me having a b/f at my age, letting someone live me, etc., etc., etc.