men and women, I need both your opinion - re: who pays for dinner?

i am a woman, and i say whoever did the asking pays. so if the man asked the woman out, the man pays. if the woman asked the man, the woman pays

Here's what I was taught growing up by a mother who was very conscious about her manners, and required her children to be so as well: If the man asks a woman out, by all means, the man must be prepared to pay for dinner. In fact, he must not only be prepared, he must actually PAY for dinner. If, in the event the woman insists on paying, the man must find a way to pay without embarrassing the woman or using excessive force. Extra points if he also does this in a romantic way. The woman should offer to pay at least her portion of the bill, but if she has agreed to go to dinner with a man, she must think he is worth a date, and if a man is worth a date, he will not allow the woman to pay any of the bill. However, she must not insist beyond politeness, as that may lead to discomfort on the man's part (see above) or, worse, mislead him into thinking that she will, indeed, pay the bill. That being said, there are some men who appear "date-worthy" but, upon further inspection (i.e. the dinner) prove not to be. In case of such a man, the woman must always have enough money on hand to pay for the entire dinner. Personally, my boyfriend pays for everything (or, at least, he tries to) and insists on doing so. About half the time, I'll convince him to go to the bathroom before paying and secretly hand the waiter the check and my payment before he gets back. So, after the first date, I'd say either split the meal or alternate paying for the whole thing. Better yet, stay home and cook a meal together ;-)