Do you think a man can be a positive father if he lives 800 miles away?

No. The boys do need a father as well as a mother influence.

I am sorry that your marriage is failing. I only hope for the best for you and your boys.

He'll be an absentee father. One who the kids visit for 2 weeks every summer and who they talk to on the phone frequently. Since he is dad, he will always be dad, but he'll have more of a close uncle relationship with his kids than daddy.

Unfortunately, unless you move to NC so the kids can be near him, there is nothing you can do to help keep him as a daily/frequent active influence in their lives.

The best thing I can suggest is that I hope you live close to your dad or brothers. Children need a strong consistent influence from men and women. Men add something to the equation that us female types cannot provide...even though we would like to. If dad is not a constant in their lives, I hope grandpa or uncle are.

I know you're looking for men to answer but perhaps this will help...

my teenage daughter's father moved to NC several months ago. Promised to come "home" and see her 1 week a month and call all the time. Sure he did those things in the beginning, but it sure faded quickly.

Now my daughter is seeing a counselor, grades dropped at school and is depressed because to her, dad left her.

I hope this doesn't happen to your sons, it is very difficult as a mother to see your children hurt.

its totally up to the guy. i would hope he is dedicated. but you cant divorce him and then control where he lives. it sucks you two are divorcing but you are and you are both going to need to be the adults to set examples for your 3 kids

everything is more difficult 800 miles away and you have to take that into account when you evlauate his fatherhoodness. He needs to call them at least several times each week as well as will need to make the effort to make the 800 mile trip about 4 or 5 times a year and you need to help by making the trip out to him a few times... that is only fair.

You will need to be mature as well

Relationships like this may paintings if both considered one in all you experience an same. in protecting with chance you men might want to fulfill a million/2 way and pass on particularly destroy out or some element. If money is an argument, search for a groupon, they always have sturdy deals for little week lengthy get aways. actually communicate with get about seeing her in real life, ask her what she needs out of your relationship. If she feels an same, choose for it!!:)

Yes, a man can be a positive father despite of the distance. He can also be a total jerk and live next door. it is all in what he decides to make of the relationship with his kids.

I am divorced and have 4 kids, remarried with a step-son. I have always kept an open and loving relationship with my kids. Two of them have decided to leave their mom and come live with me. The others are still undecided. I am far from perfect but always try my best.

The ONLY positive thing he can do from 800 miles away is send you loads and loads of money.

Everything else: NO.

Father:

Throws you a ball.

Helps you with homework.

Tucks you in.

Reads to you.

Eats dinner with the family.

etc, etc, etc...

not only no but hell no. there is no way he will be effective as a parent from 800 miles away

yes if he does everything right i mean it will be hard thought but it could still work

Sure he can.