Is it tacky to ask guest to bring food to a family wedding shower?

It is called a potluck and it is not tacky.

Yes that is way too much to ask of guests. It is the hostess's responsibility to provide all the food for the shower. If the invites are already sent out, there is nothing that can be done at this point except learn for next time not to do it that way, though some people likely won't get the hint at all. Honestly, if I received an invite like that, I would decline and send a card.

Edit: It would be one thing if this was just a "get to know each other" picnic. In that case, asking people to bring a dish would be fine. But calling it a shower and treating it like one (expecting gifts and specifying what type to bring) and telling people to bring food (which is never done at a shower) is where it crosses the line to being inappropriate.

It does sound like a lot! requiring the guest to bring a gift card for groceries or food for the couple seems kind of strange. Some people cant really afford to bring a gift card and would be better off if they could spend less money and make something (or buy something less expensive). I think also would have been better too suggest that interested people call the host and tell her what dish they would be bringing. There's nothing wrong with a pot luck but when gifts are involved, it can cause strain for some people. In my book, it is rude to -require- so much of someone that you dont even know!

Being that is memorial day and you are all spending the day at a lake property, I thought it was perfectly ok to be asked to bring a side dish, a dessert (although I would have done one or the other) and written recipes for the couple. That is plenty. Where it went over the line, in my opinion, is asking for gift card for groceries (?--- i dont get that), and for groceries for the couple ------------ I REALLY dont get that one. Way over the line and unnecessary. Yes it is too much --- but the side dish, dessert and recipe would have been ok

NO, sorry, this is not a good idea. There is no written law saying that you need to have a lunch or brunch. When my daughter was in a wedding, they had a shower and it was simply a dessert/coffee/punch type of thing. Of course, with this type of thing, you cannot have it at a meal time. Have a shower from 2-4 p.m. or so. That would be a good time frame. If you want to do a game, do ONE game only. Then, have the bride open her gifts. Then have some dessert/coffee/punch. Offer punch to people as the bride is opening gifts also. For those who don't like sweets, have a fruit tray also and maybe some cheese/crackers. This type of shower should not cost you much at all.

I think bringing food is perfectly acceptable and a recipe is perfectly acceptable - the gift card for groceries is a bit much. But, hey, if people don't want to bring it then decline the invite.

I do not think that guests should always be absolutely taken care of. If you are heading up to a cabin for a weekend I think it's perfectly fine to ask people to bring a side dish or something. My general rule is that if you can realistically see providing your own lawn chair, you can certainly throw together a pasta salad and not be offended.

Are you kidding? Heck yeah it's too much. I'm pissed already at my BS potluck for work on Friday where I'll show up after cooking 3 hrs straight the night before & spending $50 only to find that the rest of my coworkers have contributed a bag of chips. I can't stand that sh!t. If you wanna throw a party then do it but don't send out invites that are conditional & I have to bring something or my presence is unwanted. Decline decline decline. I don't do desserts & I'm certainly not printing out 2 recipes that people will most likely never use. I'm working 60+ hours per week. No time for that & if you can't afford to host a party then don't have one. It just makes people feel pressured & bad for not showing up.

EDIT: Oh I forgot all about the gift cards for groceries & I don't care how many thumbs down I get over this. That's ridiculous & beyond tacky. I mean you can't afford rice & some lean pockets? That's all that says to me. So I need a gift, a dish, 2 recipes, a dessert, and a gift card so the couple can afford to feed themselves? Umm hell no. Celebrating a wedding is one thing, feeding people because the family can't afford it is just charity. And if you need to be on government assistance then do that & I'll foot your bill through the taxes that come out of my check every month. I say we're even. Decline.

I think it's rude to ask guests to bring anything at all, including a side item. Food is one thing but then there's an entire list of the recipes, grocery thing. It sounds really bad to me. I went to a shower once where the mother invited everyone and then sent out an e-mail to all the guests telling them what they were responsible for. In the end she had nothing to contribute at all! It was awful!

1. If you were invited to all three, you really need to only bring items to ONE shower.

2. The gift card thing, don't do it if you don't want to.

3. I love the recipes idea.

4. I like the side item. If you do a side, don't do a dessert. If you do a dessert, don't do a side.

If I were an invitee, I'd only attend one, and bring what I could to that event.

I don't think it is too much to ask, but it is also a bold move. I think cash is much more reasonable for a wedding couple, so they can use it for so much more. Groceries are important, but if they planned on getting married, they probably already figured out how to afford their own food. It's cute and a good idea to get a variety of food, but I can see how it may be seen as a bit too much to ask. Hope you resolve it all! =)

Yes. That is asking way too much of your guests. One of the 3 should suffice, if you are generous. Other wise you should never be obligated to do so.