My daughter refuses to poo in the potty and she's getting too old for the diaper...advice, pleeeaassee!!?

Question

My daughter turned 4 a couple of weeks back. My wife and I have been having problems for quite some time with getting her to poop in the toilet. I can say that she's 90% off the diaper and has been for a while, she pees in the toilet with no problems...we go out, she goes to preschool, she sleeps without the diaper. But only when the time comes to poo, she needs to put a diaper on, and she's done in less than three minutes. We have been getting her to sit on the toilet and try to poo there, and it is impossible!! She'll sit there for hours, and "fake" that she is pushing (and it looks like she is really trying), but she doesn't succeed. She can go for days holding it in, spending hours on the toilet, no matter how painful it can get she won't release...and so of course we always get to the point where we get too worried and feel really bad about the pain she's going through and give her the diaper...and she's done again in less than three minutes. We've tried the sticker reward system which worked wonders in getting her to pee in the toilet, we talked about how "hungry" the toilet is for poopoo, played DVDs about using the potty, showed an elephant using a toilet on youtube, cutting a hole in her diaper, we even tried bribing her with getting her a bicycle the day she goes...but still nothing. Please, if anyone can offer some advice we would really appreciate it!!

Update:

I already tried almost everything you guys are listing...none work...except the laxative thing...I don't want to do that yet. Anyway, thanks for your help, we will keep trying...

LadyCatherine · Accepted Answer

I can understand that you may not want to punish her for not going. but you may have to do something close to it.. 

ask her why..? she may come up with an answer that might help you..

when she goes in her diaper do you change her and clean her up or does she do it herself.. if you do, start making her do it.. 

her punishment could be small,, a favorite food, "only little girls that poo in the potty get that.".. or a place that you guys could have gone to.." To bad we can't go.. but only little girls that poo in the potty can go there".

My mom once said for some parents to put a tv in the bathroom, or if it got really bad, give her a laxative.. then when you put her on it, she won't have to push, it will just come out.. but that would be a last resort..

RanaBanana · Answer

I agree with the first half of what Cheyenne said, this is a very common problem.  

Get her to poop on the potty.  Or, give her a stool for her feet to sit on while she's on the toilet.  That way, she can feel more comfortable bearing down.

Having a BM while your feet dangle in the air isn't comfortable.  That's why so many kids go through this.

Giving her books to look at while on there might help too, it will help her relax.  We keep a basket of comic books in our bathroom.  Free for your reading pleasure.

Southern Truth · Answer

Look, listen to the beat the child to the potty advocates and your child will grow up with real issues. back up and set her on the potty  in her pull-up or diaper not a adult toilet .then let her do her busniess with the diaper on /on the potty once shes comfortable with that you can slowly get the diaper off first get heading in the right direction. worked for my youngest of 3.
Good Luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Get her to poop in the potty, not the toilet. You know, a potty is a small pot put in the middle of the corridor for example. AND why on Earth didn't you potty train her when she was 1yo and didn't have her own opinion on such things?!

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My daughter refuses to poo in the potty and she's getting too old for the diaper...advice, pleeeaassee!!?

4 Answers