If I move away, will my kids understand?

-There are "Realities" in Life, & right Now- You're facing One of Them. The next Time you have your Girls- take them out to Dinner somewhere- & tell THEM what you've just explained to Us. They're old enough to "Understand" that this is something you need to do for YOU, and it's NOT a reflection on Them or anyone Else... To make the Matter alittle "easier to take", maybe you can work out an Arrangement with Them- to come out & visit you for a week or so- every so often after you've moved.... IF they're as "awesome" as you claim, -they may NOT be happy with your Decision...- but they WILL Understand... -Good luck! :)

You can still see them every other weekend. 70 miles is like an hour drive.

I know you will miss Thursdays but tell them you will go on a family vacation together in the summer to make up for the Thursdays. Just assure and reassure that no matter where you live you love them and will always be there for them. You are only a phonecall away and if need be you could be there in a flash. You are not abandoning them or chosing anyone over them. Sometimes parents have to do things they don't want to do, like move because of money, just like sometimes kids have to do things they don't like to do.

Best wishes to you I hope they understand and that you and your wife have a beautiful baby and future.

EDIT: Just checked back and saw you added more info. If your girls want to live with you and call your wife "Mom" than by all means let them live with you! They are your CHILDREN. No money is worth telling your own kids they can't live with you.

Even if you can't stand your ex or not- you have to talk with her about this. ADULTS need to figure this one out and work together in THE BEST INTEREST OF THE KIDS.

Of course they will resent you to some extent even if they do not want to. My question is, do you really want to move, or is your new wife pushing for it? I personally would not want to move where I had to rely on my in laws for financial support. There are always things that can be cut, like cable, cell phones plans scaled down etc. And it really does suck being the kid that has to spend 2+ hours of their weekends being swapped between parents, trust me I have been there as a kid myself. Think long and hard about this, it sounds to me like she may be trying to get you away from your kids to try and make a new family that does not include them as much. Even if they are older it still hurts when a parent chooses to move away.

Edit: If that is the case then why not take them with you? My girls are 8 and 10 and trust me you may think they are old enough to understand but in a child's mind (which they still are) you are leaving them. And if they do not like their current life and call your wife mom and then you move away it will cause a lot of heart ache for them. Why not try to get custody of them and all of you move.

I think they'll resent all of you. You're trying to bring in another baby that you can't support unless he parents help you support it? That's not right. Plus if you have some sort of joint custody agreement, you can't move without approval of the court and without a good reason, it's not likely a judge would let you. Good reasons for moving are getting a better job, etc. You're moving so someone else can financially support this new child you want to have. Stupid. Don't purposely bring anymore kids into the world if you can't afford them on your own.

You'll still be close. My step son moved about 75 miles away a few years ago (before the big move across the country) and we did have to cut the midweek visits and activities, but we were still able to do weekends and holidays. Just be sure to split the drive now and then so one person isn't doing all the driving.

My husband and I went through the same situation with our kids, His kids from his first marriage were used to him picking him up from the bus and giving them a ride home, then we had to move because we had twins and out grew our house, now he's too far away to get them off the bus but he still gets them every weekend. The important thing isn't the quantity of time but the quality. Together we have 10 kids, when they're all here, we treat them like one big family. We both spend individual time with each of them (the ones who will allow us to, some of them are grown), and we spend family time with them all. They will probably be upset for a little while if they're younger, older kids will understand easier, try taking them to your new town, show them all the fun things to do there,...if they like it there it will be easier to accept.

Okay, first matters first. WHERE IS YOUR FAMILY IN THIS? They all have got to be coming in combination and ponying up cash as a way to continue. The new boyfriend cannot undertake YOUR kids with out YOUR consent. What you wish to have is an IL legal professional to supply you a few recommendation. Start calling the nearest Legal Aid society to in which you used to reside, and notice for those who have got to bodily go back to IL as a way to acquire an injunction as a way to hinder this lady from leaving the state together with your kids. Ask the legal professional how your rights as a father are suffering from the truth that you under no circumstances married the mummy. If you might like joint custody, ask the legal professional approximately this. What this may occasionally imply truely is that the kids will divide their time among you and their mom till they are historical sufficient for complete time university, at which period it's going to be university holidays and summers with you. As quickly as you touch a Legal Aid legal professional, begin operating time beyond regulation to get your self the style of activity or jobs you are going to have got to turn out your health as a father to a courtroom. You are financially in charge for the help of your kids, as all fathers are, and YOUR loved ones will have to be serving to you obtain this up to viable.

I have a situation close to yours, my girls are getting older and and my ex started dating a new girl and sometimes spends less time with his kids well no matter how old they are especially if it's a new women and a new baby they will not understand and if they do they will not be happy even if they say they are they will be hurt and i think it is unfair for you to make them make that decision. People have to struggle financially to make their kids happy or just to spend time with them. That would be in your best interest to stay where you are with the kids and if your girlfriend doesn't like it then maybe she isn't the one for you.

Well when my mam and dad broke up my dad moved out and in with his new gf whilst me and my brothers and sisters stayed with my mam. To be perfectly honest i dont really see my dad anymore i havent for about 3 years now but my brother and sister still see him, but if he ever moved away i wouldnt really understand and to be honest aswell i resent his gf and her son and if he ever had a baby with her i would really resent the baby. I wouldnt hate the baby but i would be jealous of the baby and other stuff

Hope this helps :)

If you are only moving so you can have someone else pay for another child, stay where you are and don't have a kid until you care for one.