7 year old son claims I'm being unfair because I let my daughter pierce her ears but I won't let him. Help!?

I have three boys... stick to your guns!!! When in society did we decide that boys and girls were the same?? We aren't!

The best book ever that I have read is a book called Wild at Heart by 'someone-John I think' Eldridge. I was raised in a house with all girls and so when I had three boys... lol... this book helped me out a little, lol. I was one of those moms who wouldn't let their son get dirty or pick up frogs, ride their bike in the street, ride a skateboard..etc, you get the picture. I didn't do those things when I was young so my boys didn't need to right? Wrong. They need to. It is part of who they are as males and they NEED to so they can develop normally. This book gave me an insight into a male perspective. It was great!

Anyway... there is a difference whether society wants to believe/accept it or not. I think we can all be equally as smart and all that stuff... but we are different when it comes to our nature. (I just had to put that because there are people saying to treat your son and daughter like they are the same sex when they are not)

I have one son who asked me for boxers for Christmas, so I got them. Unbeknownst to me he wanted them so he could have them show with his pants part way down. I promptly bought him a belt and told him that if I ever saw his underwear again I would buy him plain white underwear and the boxers would be gone. I have explained to my boys on different occasions that I am a woman and I find some of the things they want to do offensive and as young men, they need to respect that. Personally, and anyone over 35 can attest to this... when you walk into a place of business and see a boy and sometimes girls with holes all over his/her head you think- 'stupid'-and you immediately have an opinion about their intelligence and ability to do their job. I actually complained to our grocery store about a guy who had a lip ring in that looked infected and he kept touching it as he scanned our food out. For some reason, probably because if you see something on a persons lips you automatically think 'infection' because naturally there isn't supposed to be anything there, lip rings gross me out and I don't want someone with one in touching food that is going into my kids mouths. And the ones on the nose look like pimples half the time. And for those who say that the holes close... really... I haven't worn earrings for 20 yrs and I still have all four of the holes in my ears. I have two nephews who put the 'gauges' in their ears and then tried to get 'real' jobs and were told to take them out and guess what....they looks retarded when they took them out! That hole doesn't close. My one nephew paid out of his own pocket to have the lower piece of the lobe removed. His ears look funky but has a great job and can support his family on what he makes quite nicely.

With girls, generally, they want earrings to look pretty.. it is jewelry. For a boy it is a stepping stone to something bigger like gauging (putting the retarded huge holes in their ears) or piercings elsewhere on the face.

There will be things that your son will do that your daughter can't. Like full contact high school football. Ya, I wouldn't let my daughter do that, that is what powderpuff football is for.

BTW... my wild child is 8. He wants to be like his big bros. He is the boxer boy and he likes hip hop, which the lyrics are so not ok for an 8 yr old. He has mentioned earrings once and I told him 'sure, and we will grab you a tutu while we are at it.'.

And some of you may thumbs down... but I am looking at the big picture here. I want my sons to become someone respectable with a well paying job when they grow up. I don't know one person who makes a decent wage that has huge holes in their ears or face. When I worked part of my job was Human Resources. I hired and fired people. Corporate came down and laid down their hiring guidelines and one of them stated clearly that piercings were not a desirable trait with this exception: 'For a female: no more than two ear piercing holes on the lobes of each ear'. Men could not have any visible piercings. And this was for a printing company. The people were entry level and were being hired for pressroom positions running machines. They weren't even going to ever deal with customers or be seen. But, that was the standard that the company set. And a lot of companies are like that.

I don't want my college educated son being turned away from a job because of his appearance!

Ugh, lol.. anyway... off my soap box. Every one was throwing their pennies into the ring so I thought I would add my two cents, lol.

I would not budge. Your children are two different sexes, treat them accordingly. I would let my 11 yr old son walk to the gas station by himself... but I wouldn't let my daughter. Not because she is inept but because she is a female and the chances of someone scooping her into a moving vehicle are far greater...

I have noticed more boys in my kids elementary school with their ears pierced. (Thankfully my 8 year old has not asked for this yet.) I think this is a personal choice. Look at how many people - not just celebs - that have piercings, it no longer seems strange for boys to have piercings.

We set a rule that there are no piercings until the girls are 10, never thought about the boys asking too. We set 10 so they would hopefully be some what responsible enough to take care of their earrings and piercing.

I think I would discuss the reasons why you do not believe boys should have piercings. I try to talk out what I disagree with the kids on and come to a compromise. Sometimes they have a good argument and a reasonable explanation. In the end you have the final say though.

Pierced ears and earrings for men and boys have been fashionable in different cultures throughout history. Most scholars now agree that Julius Cesar had both ears pierced and William Shakespeare had at least one ear pierced. My mother can remember 50 years ago when parents would be upset because their teen aged daughters wanted to get their ears pierced because back then women with pierced ears were considered "trashy" and "cheap."

While they are still in the minority, more and more boys are having their ears pierced and they are having it done younger and younger. My son had both his ears pierced when he turned 4 years old and has worn earrings all the time ever since his ears were pierced. The day may come when he has to go without earrings for sports or work, but he is happy to know that his ears have now been pierced long enough (10 years) that his holes will never close. If he someday decides he does not want to wear earrings, he can always stop wearing them, but he will always be able to start wearing them again whenever he wants.

My son has a nice collection of earrings, many of which are souvenirs of places he has visited. There are some styles of earrings that I would not allow him to wear because they have too much of a connection to gangs, drugs and other activities which I do not want him involved with. My son has always liked hoop earrings, but when he was younger I insisted his hoops be small enough that another child could not hook a finger through them unless my husband or I were going to be with our son while he was wearing his hoops.

To answer your questions directly, yes, I think you are being too inflexible here. Let him get his ears pierced, but help him select earrings that are appropriate for his age. If he gets his ears pierced now, by the time he is a young man he will always have the option to wear earrings whenever he wants to without worrying about his holes closing while he is not wearing them. His holes and his options will always be open.

No, I think you should wait until she's a little older and make it a rite of passage event for her. Ten is a good age -- she'll be old enough to take care of her ears by herself and to appreciate the earrings as a more adult accessory to have. Some jewelry stores will do ear-piercing, but you want to make sure it's done by a mature, experienced

I am so thankful that my son feels the same way I do about boys and earrings! I don't think your being unreasonable, if he still wants them later he can get them. I let my children use freedom of expression so if I had this situation I would be in the same boat, I'm not old fashioned but I hate boys with earrings, and really am not a fan of guys with long hair. The styles these days are ok (the Zack Effron look), but a man with a beautiful ponytail makes me want to gag.

To each their own, it is not for me to judge anyone but I would never date or marry a man with a pony tail... an earring or 2 I could deal with but if he starts to wear my earrings we would have a major issue :)!

i don't think you're being inflexible OR should let him- here are some of my ideas--

tell him that no, not everyone is getting their ears pierced. you could say that other boys, and famous people who have their ears pierced are just trying to look 'cool'

maybe, try to exaggerate the pain of piercing?

does he have an idol, someone he's obsessed with? if so, see if he has HIS ear's pierced

ask him how many boys at his school have it, you may want to check for yourself as well. if a lot of boys DO have their ears pierced, you may as well let him because he'll never stop nagging you. ever. and just because he has a pierced ear doesn't mean he's gonna go for the entire 'ripped' look.

but, on the bright side, he may regret it, and think it looks stupid, so he might take it out.

I'm with Karen. You're the parent, it's your decision, no argument. If he wants them done when he's over 18 and not living with you, that's his business. If, however, your only reason is that he will regret it, keep in mind that often if the earrings are taken out and left out, the holes will close back. I'm all for sexual equality, but the fact of the matter is, earrings are not mainstream for young boys, and if you're not comfortable with it, that's the only reason you need. He's not old enough to know what "everyone" else is doing, and you might point out that all those pop stars he throws up for examples are not 7 years old. Maybe you can be a little more flexible when he's a teenager, but 7? I don't think so.

No, you're not. He's 7, not 17.

I would, give him credit though. He's right -- it is much more acceptable now for both sexes to have pierced ears. However, help him to see acceptable doesn't mean "norm". Most people don't think twice about girls being pierced because it's considered normal fashion. However, it's still not the norm for boys.

Boys ( which I have 4 ) wear only one earring. It is in the left ear. 20 percent of my 5th. Graders have studs in their left ear and 3 of my boys as well. I would say sure and he can always take the stud out at any time. The tiny hole will close up in a short time. Nothing to really regret.

( Connie Mom of 4 and 5th. Grade Teacher )

NO ur being a good father! You need to stand your groud on this one as he is trying to test ur limits. There is no need for either child really to have peirced ears but i understand the female aspect of it. Your son really doesn't care either way but he wants to be treated equal no matter what AND wants to see if u give in to this will give in to even more down the road? Just be firm explain to him that you dont care what zac efron does as you only care about him and most boys dont have peirced ears but when he is 18 he can pierce wahtever he wants! (trust me he will forgot about this by the end of the summer)!

good luck

I've never heard of a child being damaged from not being allowed an earring, even though their sibling has one. You don't have to let him - and if you want him to feel better, buy him something he loves that is of an equal value to his sister's piercing.

You could always tell him the real reason, in adult terms. At that point, most children will get confused, ask you what such-and-such means, and will get diverted from the topic. After all, you gave a reason!