Will closing down Guantanamo Bay make baby Jesus cry?

Not at all.

Jesus knows full well the dangers of due process not being observed.

A civilian tribunal handing someone over to the military authorities for judgment to avoid a potentially messy political situation; sound familiar?

What? Is he one of the under-age inmates? Instead of potential trumped-up charges, unaccountability and crucifixion, he might actually face due process? Tears for joy, maybe! Unless he's a genuine bad'un, where instead of being seen as a persecuted martyr he might now come to be seen as a properly convicted violent criminal.

From what I recall, Jesus was in favor of fair trials and loving your enemy. He would cry with joy if Gitmo ever closed down.

The false prophet, Jesus, is dead. He can't cry and even if he could, who cares what a false prophet says?

Sure, why not? Anything can be attributed to a mythological character.

Jesus isn't a baby, so no.