turtles all the way down

They've taken the liberal bias out of the Bible by translating it, but I think it's time they did the same for the Constitution. The framers obviously did not intend to use the word "welfare" twice, and all that stuff about Congress having the power to tax and spend and regulate commerce is just socialist propaganda that was added when socialists translated the Constitution during the New Deal.

Everybody knows that nobody who finds a watch on the beach believes in evolution, and the only reason there are still monkeys is because Charles Darwin forced some of them to stop evolving because he wanted pets for his Beagle.

Astronauts have been to space and looked at the world and not one of them has spotted a giant hearing aid. Earth's hair has also not turned white. Doesn't this prove that the world is not as old as the OEEs say it is?

I've heard that Christianity only offers one ticket.

Prominent creation scientist Em Adjineri has recently concluded a study on the affects of aging on planets. She discovered that as planets age, they have trouble satisfying their moons without the aid of little blue pills.

But Earth has absolutely no problem satisfying its moon all night long. The Earth is able to rotate without any problems, and it doesn't need to take any blue pills. The only way for this to be possible is for Earth to be less than 10,000 years old.

This proves that the OEEs are wrong about the age of the earth, and they should give up Old Earth Evolutionisticism and become Young Earth Creationists.

Prominent creation scientist Em Adjineri has recently done a study on the driving habits of old planets. She discovered that old planets crash much more frequently than young planets because as they age, their reaction time and eyesight decline. Also, old planets get smaller over time and because of this they sometimes have trouble seeing over the wheel.

Earth, however, hasn't crashed into any planets despite the fact that it is constantly driving in circles around the sun. The only possible explanation for this is that the OEEs are wrong about Earth's age, and that it's much younger than they think it is. If the earth was older, its orbit would be a lot slower and it would constantly be crashing into other planets or meteors.

According to prominent creation scientist Em Adjineri, it's a scientific fact that planets need dentures to chew their asteroids after the first million years or so. Earth does not need dentures, so it must be less than a million years old.

In fact, Earth still has all of its baby teeth. We know this because archaeologists have not yet found any fossilized baby Earth teeth. Planets lose their baby teeth at around 10,000 years, which means that Earth must be less than 10,000 years old.

If the world were billions of years old, then we would at least be on year 2,000,000,009. But it's only 2009, because time started when Jesus was born.