6 weeks post partum and I don't have anyone to talk to...?

Whoa, you really need to tell your husband to snap out of his attitude. I know how you feel about having no1 to talk to, I live 8 hours away from my family and friends and my partener works away. I've joined a mothers group, and a playgroup.

As for your 4 year old...he's used to having ALL of the attention, try and get him involved with the baby and make him feel responsible, like have him get nappies for you and tell him what a good big brother he is.

Ok - you're husband does sound like an arrogant prat but ask yourself- is this out of his nature? If it isn't then, I'm sorry but I have no advice on how to change his attitude.

However, if it is not normal for him to speak to you in this manner, have you considered that both of you are suffering from a touch of depression. My husband became extremely low in mood after our 2nd was born, I was fine but this actually made him worse.

Speak to your health visitor, today if possible. There may be a sure start scheme in your area which can help through support groups, creche facilities etc. Find out where your local mother and toddler group is and go there for some grown up conversation & support.

You need to put yourself first here - it is you that is at home with two little kids. Only when you feel stronger in your own capabilities can you start to either support your husband in decreasing his stress or telling him to get a grip and treat you better.

Also you add that your 6 week old needs the majority of your time - this is not true. A 6 week old in a proper feeding and sleeping routine should allow you pockets of time between 1&3 hours to spend exclusively with your son. it is different when you have two - if you haven't already, get a rocker and put the baby down when not feeding so that your 4 year old can sit on your knee or you can do activities with him on the floor.

I know exactly how you feel. I was married to my first hubby, stuck in Germany with him in the Air Force, when my first daughter was born. Wasn't much better when the second one came along.

You have to get out of the house and take some time for you. You are entitled, reguardless of what Mr Macho says. Speaking of Dad, sounds like he owes you a few hours of babysitting if you can manage it from him. Might teach him how 'easy' it is to manage 2 kids alone. I would make sure to have lots of 'errands' to do that he really hates doing so that you will be gone for hours too. Of course timing is crucial....feeding, awake time, etc.

Try to find some gal friends that you can spend some time with. Take turns going to each others house, or taking the kids to the park or something. Anything to break the boring routine. Find someone to babysit the kids during the day for a couple of hours here and there to give you some time to yourself. Do something you love to do....whatever that may be.

Post partum depression is a real condition. Discuss this with your doc. He/she will have suggestions for you and may even be able to refer you to a group of other moms in your area that are just what you need. Plan a vacation trip for yourself and the kids to visit your parents since your hubby is so damn busy. I'm not kidding! I am sure the grandparents would be delighted to see the new baby while hubby earns the bread and stuffs it in his own mouth.

Good luck....you will make it. It's all normal.

Look, i dont want to offend anyone BUT your husband sounds like a moron. Post partum depression is very serious!! Tell him to ask Rusty Yates what the consequences of ignoring your sick wife are. It sounds like to me he isnt being a team player. He isnt being compassionate, or understanding. He sounds like he is upset that u r more stressed and less happy and its rubbing off on him, so in return he is making it worse!!?? He doesnt want to be unhappy? well, welcome to the real world of parenting buddy!! Your wife is going to have emotional ups and downs, and so r u, the cake party is over, and real life has begun. he needs to get his head out of his azz.

I had the baby blues AWFUL after each baby so i know what u r going through. I had two kids, one after the other, so i have been there too. The best advice i can give u is take it day by day, try and make a schedule, remind your 4 yr old that he is needed, loved and useful by letting him help u out with the baby, and the most important part is--Remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. u may not see it now, but it is there, so just keep on moving forward day by day.

sorry to say this but your husband sounds like a complete d*ckhead, how dare he say those things to you, you are the one raising both of your kids and of course its going to be hard getting into a routine with 2 kids when you were used to just 1 kid before. he needs to support you more and help out rather than bringing you down and making you feel worse. is there any chance you have postnatal depression? all i can suggest is to get yourself into a routine, i know its hard with a baby so young and an active child but it will form soon and it will get easier. perhaps include your son with looking after your baby so he feels more involved and doesnt play you up, for example when you are changing the baby ask your son to pass a nappy because hes a good boy or something encouraging so he enjoys having a new baby around. i cant talk from personal experience but i do know it gets easier. perhaps join mum and baby groups and have a chat with your midwife/health visitor, but dont stand for what your husband has been saying, if that was me id shut the door on him. good luck.

you should join some mother and toddler group this will give your four year old something to occupy him whilst you concentrate on ya baby and get mixing with other parent as for you feeling low well that isnt a surprise when you have not support from your husband you should think about your self and kids i was in a similar situation when my teens were small with 18 months apart my relationship was very violent dont let this man walk all over you you wouldnt want to be in that situation at all take care hun and try talking to your doctor or health visitor

It sounds like you and I are in similar situations...living far from family with little to no support systems, with two little ones (I have a three year old and a one year old), and are the main homemaker (my husband works a lot so for the majority of the time I'm a single mom). It can be terribly overwhelming and very stressful at times, every day, so I hear ya. But, I must say, if my husband ever said those types of things to me I think I might just slap him upside the head or call a divorce attorney. Not that that comment helps you, but maybe it will help a little knowing someone else is angry that your husband would treat you that way?

That first year after my second was born was very difficult, so my best advice is to try and find some support system for you. Obviously, your husband should be the number one on the list, and since he isn't, maybe you should try talking to him again. A real heart-to-heart, telling him how his actions are making things worse and how you need his support not his ridicule. I truly hope he comes around.

Second, have you thought any about post-partum depression? If you feel depressed at all, talk to your OBGYN and he/she can help and/or tell you who you should talk to. It's nothing to be ashamed of if you are suffering from it there is help out there. No need to suffer needlessly or just because your husband "doesn't buy into it." The medical community does buy into it so there is lots of help available.

Next, find an outlet for you, if that means getting a babysitter once a week to come in and give you an hour or two to sleep, run errands, go to an exercise class/book club/whatever you're into so you can meet people and make some local friends and have some me time, then so be it. I have found that finding time for me is the hardest thing to do as a stay-at-home and I get lost in the day-to-day shuffle of kid and family needs. But, boy oh boy, if I get a little time here or there for myself to recharge, I am a much happier and better mother and person.

Join a parent/kid club, be it a paid class or a play group that just meets at people's home or parks in your area. Then you can meet more moms in the same boat and slowly grow your local support network. Plus, it'll give your son an outlet and some time to play with other kids and make him feel like less has changed for the negative so to speak. Don't be shy about trying to set up playdates for your son. I'm a terribly shy person but I've found that you just have to come out and ask -- usually the other person is really open to it -- they probably wanted to ask for a playdate too but were too shy to do so! I swear, as females, learning to set up playdates is like getting a lesson in how teenage guys felt having to ask out girls on dates! lol

Also, try to make some new ritual with your son that is his time and only his time, that you do every day. For us, that was the bedtime ritual. Before my second was born, my husband read to him and put him to bed most nights, but once my second child was born, my first was craving one-on-one attention from me and that was the only time of day I could give him a good chunk of uninterrupted time. So, now I read to him, sing, prayers, and tuck him in each night, instead of my husband. I think it helped reassure him that I was still there for him, as once we started the new ritual, the acting out behaviors seemed to calm a bit. Well, at least until my daughter could move and steal his toys. :)

Lastly, just because you live far away from family/friends, doesn't mean that you can't use them as a powerful support tool. I am very close to my mother and, while we live hours and hours away from each other, we speak on the phone at least a few times a week, usually every day or two. Don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call someone, to chat about nothing or for a long conversation. It helps you feel connected to the world and I'm sure your son would enjoy talking to Grandma (Grandpa, Auntie, Uncle etc.) too.

if you live in england, check out your local sure start centre - i did and it was fantastic, the best thing ive done!they have lots of groups you can go to with your children, and the staff are lovely and helpful.of course your baby needs more attention, but it must be hard - dont get down on yourself!your husband is nasty - he doesnt buy into 'depression' but hearing such horrible things will make you depressed.however, my hv told me it is possible for men to develop pnd - i had a terrible time having my son and my partner had a newborn and me to look after.perhaps you should both go see the doctor together.also dont suffer in silence - talk to your hv, she may be able to help!i hope things get better soon hun x