cant pay my mortgage?

You already evaluated your situation pretty good. No need to make your life any more miserable. No, I don't think it was your fault either.

So.... here is the plan:

Stop paying the mortgage altogether and start saving up enough to get into a rental.

Here in CA the "going rate" on getting evicted can be anywhere from 6 months to over a year. All depends on how busy your lender was and how many of their loans went belly up. Banks aren't in the real estate business and aren't fond of becoming the proud owners of houses that need to be maintained and listed with real estate agents, etc. This costs money. Houses that are empty get vandalized and that doesn't help much in the value department either.

So, stay put and save up your money. You will first get the Notice of Default, then some time later (that can be anywhere from 3 to 6 months - or if your state put's a clamp on it even longer) you will get a Notice of Trustee's Sale that announces that your property will be auctioned off in front of the courthouse steps on such and such date.

(You might want to get ready and reserve a moving van in case your house is actually bought at auction). Chances are it won't sell and now it becomes an REO (Real Estate Owned) property and the bank becomes the owner. In this case... you can cancel the U-haul for a long time to come. The banks arent the fastest in seizing their properties.... Eventually of course you will have the Sheriff knocking on your front door one day and then you better be ready and be out within hours before they are done changing all the locks.

Don't let it get to this point. Save up as much as you can within the next 3 to 6 months and then move out and turn the keys over to the bank.

Good Luck. You aren't alone out there and being a renter is not the worst you could be. It is more important that you have a job and you and your family can live in a healthy environment. Being burdened with debt and constantly stressed out is no way to raise a family.

P.S. - Make sure you check out your new landlord... before you end up renting a house that is going into foreclosure.....

A new law has been passed that forces banks to have to exhaust all options before foreclosing on your property. That includes a loan modification or a short sale. Contact your lender and see if they are willing to negotiate. If not, it will be at least 6 months before you are evicted.