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What do you think of this story?

Long, blonde hair billowed in the wind. A young girl’s head was buried in a book. This afternoon seemed like every other. Her delicate pale fingers silently turned a faded page. Nature’s chorus was the only sound to be heard.

A sudden shriek from a crow caused the girl to jolt her head upwards. ‘Blasted creatures!’ She thought to herself. She placed her book on the stone tomb of which she sat and looked around. She was used to the grave and grimness of the cemetery. It was where she felt most at home. She looked around, and almost immediately, her eyes surprisingly cast upon a new addition. On the horizon she could see a grey, still silhouette. She picked up her favourite novel, and began pacing towards the water feature surrounding it.

She looked over to the island sitting in the middle of a lifeless pond. She dipped her bare foot into the murky pool. A chill climbed up her spine. She smiled. This was going to be her own mini adventure! And thus, she hauled up her pinafore above her ankles, and pulled back her bonnet. She waded through the sludge to the dry land in front, careful not to dampen her book.

She stood opposite her discovery. From the knee downwards, she was soaking. She hadn’t thought about the deepness of the pond, or the consequences of her brief journey. She padded towards the figure, grass tickling her toes. She hummed a tune, and flicked at the huge white statue. It was the figure of a woman, sitting and reading. She was dressed in clothes very similar to the child. She stepped back to admire the beauty. As she turned to leave, the statue seemed to flinch. The girl gasped in shock as it inhaled deeply. The girl began to panic.

“May I help you dear?” The stone lady inquired. She actually seemed rather kind, and not at all monster-like as the girl suspected.

“Umm, n-n-no.” She whimpered and spun round to run off, but before she could the statue spoke again.

“Don’t go … please.” The creature looked melancholy. “It is so very lonely on this island.”

The little lass shook her head in pity and wandered back towards the small lake. She had wanted an adventure but this was too much.

“If you stay, I shall tell you a story.” The statue offered.

The girl sat down on the grass and accepted the statue’s proposal. She liked nothing more than a decent story! And so, the tales began.

After that meeting, almost everyday, the girl visited her secret story teller. It spoke of damsels, dashing knights and impossible places. All the same, both of the two seemed happy in each other’s presence. That is, until one day. The girl had grown curious about the living sculpture. Why was it here, in the cemetery? How could it speak and breathe? After must thought and consideration, she eventually plucked up the courage to ask it. Her grandmother did always say “If you don’t ask you will never get.” When the girl did, the statue seemed very quiet. It wouldn’t answer her questions. This frustrated the little girl, and so she continued querying the statue until it couldn’t take it anymore. And eventually it snapped. Literally.

Marble hands wrapped around the child’s neck. Tighter and tighter until she began to choke. Her lungs felt as though they were filling up with cement. She couldn’t move her feet, they were stuck deep in the ground. Her arms seized up and her neck became stiff. Her skin remained pale, but began to harden. Crag wings emerged from her back. Nothing more than a hoarse whisper wheezed out of her mouth. But she was screaming on the inside. And then, inexplicably, the creature that once told the child tales of wonder became sand.

A stone angel stood forlorn on the horizon. Dust and other particles danced in the wind. A crumpled ‘missing’ poster rolled past the statues feet. And as ever and always, the little girl was home.

Update:

okay, the girl is now a statue,

and the old one has just crumbled up.

I am glad you liked my story!!!

Update 2:

The girl might go a bit mad if someone asks her about her death because it was a pretty lame way to die. Being strangled by a statue that tells fairytales!!!

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is a very interesting story, and quite well thought out. There are a couple of sentences where you appear to be trying to pull synonyms out of a thesaurus. I would recommend when you write that you try to make it sound real to you, and don't worry about trying to make it sound flowery. After all, the hardest way to write is using only one syllable words!

    Very nice story, I would look forward to reading more!

  • 1 decade ago

    OMG That was AMAZING! but i have just a few questions.

    1. What happened to the psyco statue?

    2.Is the girl a talking statue now too?

    3.Will the girl go psyco if someone asks her about her death?

  • musser
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    nicely, for my maximum up-to-date tale, i substitute into inspired by potential of television. many times television conjures up me in any case. yet this one is distinctive. i substitute into watching Terra Nova on television, or perhaps yet it wasn't that great of a instruct, I nonetheless observed the potential in it. and then i desperate that writing a singular with dinosaurs could be so cool, and something so in assessment to something i've got ever finished earlier. So then I embarked on all this making plans with particularly some those distinctive characters, and it substitute into going to ensue in the jungle with dinosaurs. Then I persisted the making plans technique and rewrote outlines. Then i began, and wrote a bad initiating i finished up scrapping. And now i've got have been given the belief down. And the humorous element is, dinosaurs are not even area of it anymore. So the element that incredibly inspired this novel, does not even exist in the unconventional anymore. It does nonetheless, even however, ensue in the jungle, however the belief is exceptionally much thoroughly distinctive from the unique inspired concept.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow!

    Amazing !x

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