Is it still cheating if your spouse knows you are having sex with someone else and is Ok with it?

The definition of cheating, is dishonesty.

If you both know about it, and are ok with it, then how is that dishonest? So it's not cheating.

Swinging is recreation. Like playing tennis, and once in awhile you might want to play pairs tennis instead of singles. Sex does not equal love. Sex with the one you love is the best there is, but recreational sex is fun as well, just without the emotional hook.

Vows. Forsaking all others means to not love anyone else as you love your spouse. It doesn't say anything about sex. And here's a newsflash, polls show that swingers comprise about 20% of the population, have lower divorce rates, and very low instances of STD, compared to the fine upstanding religious hypocrites with their 60% divorce rate and cheating.

If she knows but he doesn't know that she knows, and it is not an open marriage, then it is cheating. Only if they have agreed to an open marriage (meaning they are not committed to only having sex with each other) is it not cheating.

A vow is made in marriage, so if one, the other or both break the vow, it is breaking a promise which is cheating because the vows set the basic rule for the marriage. Some people do get married with the intentions of it being an open marriage (where it is OK with both that either one or the other or both can "swing" if he or she wants to). In such marriages they marry mainly because they enjoy each other's company or their platonic relationship with each other more than with anyone else that they might consider for marriage. In some cases it is also for financial reasons, tax breaks, etc.. Also, it might start out as a closed marriage, but then they get the "seven year itch", and instead of divorcing they decide to declare the marriage to be open from that point on.

I am going to be technical here since you ask this question in the philosophy section. It would depend on what vows were spoken in public if they had a "traditional" wedding. I believe that a promise is a promise and that we should keep our promises. Some people spend thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand it front of all their friends and family to promise to be faithful to one another until they die. Now that might be a stupid tradition, but it is what most people do. I think it is wrong simply on the grounds that you break a promise. If you did not make such a promise, in what sense is the other person a spouse?

Nope. If you openly communicate and agree to something with your honey, it's not cheating. What makes it cheating is that you aren't truthful. Having relations with others is just that- Part of the poly/ swinger life.

No, cheating implies that you are "breaking the rules". If you are in a swinger lifestyle, and you are ok with it, and your spouse is ok with it, and you have talked about it and created rules to that lifestyle, then having sex with someone else isn't cheating so long as you aren't breaking any of the rules established between you and your spouse.

It depends on what the definition of cheating is. I think that would be between the couple, and they probably don't consider it cheating. Outside people will judge and possibly say it is, but it is not their relationship they are commenting on... it is someone else's so it really doesn't matter what they think.

i guess it isn't. As long as the wife isn't deprived of anything and is aware and has approved AND in no way is being coerced into the approval for fear of lsoing her mate - then it is not for me to judge.

I know that it works for a small minority of people - but I can't see these things really ever having a long and successful run. Seems way to complicated on the emotional side. But maybe that is just me........ But of course it is.

In my opinion Marriage is a commitment to monogamy, not monotony. If you are interested in having sex with multiple partners, why marry in the first place. All you are doing in the situation you describe is cheating yourself and your partner. Love is hard to find, so why put love in harms way. I'm old fashioned and glad to be that way. In this day and age disease is a major concern and AIDS is incureable. Take care of yourself.

I would call it "communication". Cheating involves lies and disrespect for vows of commitment. Couples may jointly decide that commitment does not rely on sexual fidelity. Complete and honest communication is a necessity.

I think by definition, "swingers" have agreed to suspend "the rules" so don't consider it "cheating"...