i got ripped to **** for this post on yahoo shine about chearting?

can i have you opinions please...

OK, so i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and since then there has always been a flock of men trying to get me away from him. Im talking like everyday i get approached by really beautiful, decent (so it seems), hard working, fun men, who if i was single id probably date. Before my relationship, i was a serial dater, like a man eater except, i didnt have sex with these guys, id just like go out on dates 4-5 times week... just because i liked the company, and i get bored of the same routine of one person too quickly.

However, one day i met my boyfriend, and it was like the world exploded leaving only the two of us left, and he was my main focus in life... we moved in together after 2months and we have been living together ever since.

Then we moved out of the country to a place where we were both foreigners, Italy, and due to the fact that im a black girl the attention from the men was at an unpresidented maximum, even more than before. The fact that i look different to them is a huge thing for them. So, while resisting the temptation from these men, i would just completely ignore them and even be a little rude to them just so i would not give them the chance to impress me, or viceversa.

After a while of being rude to men, i let a few of them in and became friends with them, on a purely platonic level... i began to feel happy and confident that this could be my way of enjoying new people without having any sexual attachments.

So, one day i met a friend of one of these friends, and at first i didnt even take note of the way he looked, i didnt care, but after a while as we got to know each other it became very apparent to me that this guy had something about him that so reminded me of my Boyfriend. That quality in the way he would look at me, the things he said, his gestures were all so similar, but yet new, fresh and exciting. I did let him know that we could only be friends, and he was very much happy with that.

After a bit of a while as we got closer, we began to desire one another, quite obviously, when i realised that he had so many endearing attributes to his personality, i should have distanced myself, but by then i was already addicted to him and his presence.. not even in a sexual way. Just the essence of him as a person.

Eventually, we had that first kiss, which shattered me into pieces, the feeling i felt, immeadiately let me know that if i carried on with this guy it could end up being a real heartbreaking story in the end.. for all of us.. but my want, my desire, and my obsession almost kept me going... However instead of meeting him just to feel that physical connection, we met and tried to see if we could keep our hands of each other and still enjoy one anothers company, and i thought we managed it perfectly.

Only, one day, he gave up, he said it was impossible for him, he told me he wanted me, that he would do anything for me, and he wanted me to leave my boyfriend and come and live with him. I must say, they were small moments of temptation. He told me that i should think of myself and the way i feel, and what i want from my life, and not to consider my boyfriend, which i started to believe.. However, i realised that thats what love is, when you love someone, you think of them everythime you make a decision, you think of there feelings, and not just your own. I knew how much i loved my boyfriend, how much i would never intentionally hurt him, but how much i already have by being selfish, ignorant, greedy and foolish. I never had sex with this other man, but i feel like the kissing and the emotional attachment were just as bad, if not worse.

My loved never changed for my boyfriend, thats why this whole thing was really confusing to me. Granted, in the period of time i was seeing this other man, i did become a little distact from him and he noticed, but i never felt like i didnt want him anymore. I believe it was just a case that i fell for someone else at the same time. I always thought it wasnt possible til now, that is has happened to me. Now a couple of months have passed, and my boyfriend and i are stronger than ever, i will never tell him what i did, not because he will leave me... itd be hard to deal with if he did, but i love him so much id fight to get him back, and id do whatever it took. The reason why i wouldnt tell him is because, it would destroy him, especially when at the time he suspected that i something was going on and i denied it. He is very sensitive and my cheating on him would be more hurtful that lying for the rest of our lives together. One day maybe when are old and married, i could come clean but until then, we have such a beautiful bond that i dont want to destroy. Still days go by when i think of this other guy, i see his eyes, i feel the depth of his kiss and i realise that in this life we have more than one possible soulmate, and he was definitely one of mine... and least i have been lucky enogh to h