For those who have been deployed?

Question

Can you give some examples of things your spouse did that made your homecoming easier?  And conversely things they did that made it harder?

My husband is coming home from his first deployment soon and due to me being 8 months pregnant he will already be dealing with having to share his homecoming with his mother in law so I want to make sure everything I do have control over will make things easier for him.  

Also we have a three year old daughter so any advice on helping her would be appreciated as well.

lconnor65 · Accepted Answer

First relax and don't make any major plans.

It is going to take awhile for you both to fall into a normal routine again.  

Let your child go to him when she is ready.  She will need to adjust as well.  It took my son a few days to get comfortable but trust me they will have a very tight bond.

http://www.afterdeployment.org/ this is a good site to check out as well.

I would have a clean house, full fridge of his favorite foods and just give him time to unwind and relax.

Flight Eng · Answer

I just returned from a deployment 4 months ago, now my wife is deployed. 

Easiest thing you can do is not be all over him. He will be happy to see you, but at the same time he will be coming from a habit of having space, so let him come to you. 

As for the daughter, don't tell her the exact date or day, because she has been through a lot as well. Should his rotator home get delayed for maintenance for a day or two, she will be devastated - kids dont rebound as quickly or understand (as you already know).

Also, let him chose dinner, whether or not you like it, he may have his heart set on a few things. Also, don't force stories out of him, he wll share when ready.

If you areAir Force, there should be a "homecoming brief" for you. Its mandatory at DM AFB and beginning to be mandatory Air Force wide.

Good luck

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For those who have been deployed?

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