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John D
Lv 4
John D asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

You will agree I need sleep?

Too reals

You’re too real –almost surreal.

If you were a beast you’d be a Squirreal

Chewing your nuts and living Arboreal

If you lived in the sea you hide in the coreal

(And I’m not trying to pick a quarreal

With Mureal, you, or your brother Darreal)

But you are as ugly as an old congereal

Wearin’ a coat dress in yellow nitreal

All slathered thick in products by Loreal

Tryin’ t’light up the sky like an aurora boreal

Babe we’ve got to talk of your faults in the plureal

‘Cause if you were real killer I know you’d be sereal

>>>

All right, yes, it's demented.

Update:

Thanks SIN, that means a lot coming from you. I got the rhymes lined up where I want them, but I think I do still have to tweak the meter a bit.

>>>

Still, it frosts my cupcakes when I worked my butt off over days to write Joshua -a thoughtful, structured poem about maturity and doubt, and only three people commented on it, and then I write this doggeral and it gets all the hits. Y!A where is your justice???

Update 2:

Ezekial and Fish Sticks -thanks, I did go back and try to comment on your poems. Both very different.

6 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Nothing wrong with having fun with writing. Mild dementia in the cause of humor is not sufficient to result in commitment to a state facility. Someone will be an *** about it, but you did well playing out the thought.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I like demented writing.

    A personal writing form always turns out to have the most unique poems.

    And this here, is personal.

    I think you should post it on my website.

    Source(s): SOlesss.com
  • Daisy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    But this is really cool wordplay

    if I really must say

    I would word it that way

    every single damn day

    what can I say ...hey!

  • Ezekiel W
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    umm...sleep? maybe. a psychologist? definitely.

    : )

    P.S. Feel free to rate the poem I have open (you can find it in my questions).

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  • Anatrulblonde
    1 decade ago

    Yeaaa... that was kind of scary

  • Singer
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Cool...kinda a thought outside of the box.

    Please help me: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aps0o...

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