Critique my poem please? Suggestions? Comments?

You have an excellent beginning on a great piece of work.

Delusional, you sit upon your throne so mighty,

feel as though you know right from wrong,

when truly, you are just a hypocrite,

believing what you cannot see,

removing those from your life that do not fit your standards,

Here is where you need to complete this description.

Soon enough you will realize,

(the good Samaritan, he isn't)

you should have shared your wealth with one who once came begging,

(and this is where you sermonize.)

so that someone would truly care,

alone, the king of lies sits

It is not in sharing the wealth that brings others to care, it is giving of the heart and learning love.

The king of lies is Satan. It seems there is a mixture of Biblical information lightly interspersed with your metaphor.

Try rewording it. The most important thing about a writer is to rewrite.

You are a writer, you have talent; let me know when your next version is posted. t

Very poetic. But if you want rhythm and beat make it cut off in some spots. Like this:

Delusional you sit upon your throne so mighty

You feel although you know

Right from wrong

Truly you are just a hypocrite

You believe what you can not see

you are a really a good poet and one who has a very great peice of work.

William Shakespear didn't become famous by just writing poetry, he touched peoples hearts with his romantic poems.

Just figure out with what you wanna go with and do it!

Improve and don't expect that every poem will be a masterpiece! Every poet has and had problems. Keep up the good work!

Rhythmically, it has no meter, cadence or beat, so it reads more as a run-on sentence than a poem. The major metaphor used, person as tyrant, is trite, and there is nothing here that brings any originality to it.

In terms of content, it is internally contradictory. The speaker tells the person they are a hypocrite, arrogant, self serving, and yet they complain that the person did not “share your wealth with one who once came begging”.

This exhibits little skill in terms of poetry, and as it appears to have no greater meaning than the superficial one, it seems more of a rant from a once spurned lover, than a poem.

i agree partly with the first answer and completely with the second

keep trying to improve yourself

and ranting is fine

but after you rant

try to refine the piece

good luck : )

Keep going, add to it, expand it, exhaust your passions.