Let's try this again: of what am I supposed to approve if I stand for a friend's wedding?

I saw your previous question as well so I understand what your asking. I'm getting married next year and my second bridesmaid has many of the same sentiments that I think you might, including, to her, the outdated tradition of giving away the bride which I happen to love. She is my friend and I've always loved her in spite of our differences so your questions remind me of her. I just want her to stand there and say she supports my marriage even if she doesn't support the traditions (which I have heard plenty about). I don't know if the bride and I are anything alike but if we are even remotely close, I'd stay stand up there to say you support the marriage regardless of your thoughts on the wedding. And don't go on about your beliefs because trust me, she already probably knows them. But she loves you and your friendship and probably just really wants you there to say you will support the marriage. Hope this helps!

By standing up in a wedding, you are basically saying that you support the bride. Generally, that also means you approve of the marriage... but even if you don't, you can still be a supportive friend/relative of the bride. For example, I do not (and will probably never) like my sister's boyfriend. But if she were to tell me tomorrow they were getting married, I would support her decision even if I don't like him, and I wouldn't say a thing (although it's not like he's abusive or anything, I just find him extremely annoying). I would still stand up with her and be very happy for her if she were to ask me.

I have never heard of anyone not "approving" of a wedding, but I would say that no, you are not implying that you approve of her choices in how to celebrate her marriage. If that were the case, every time a bride picked hideous bridesmaid dresses, or picked a fairy princess theme, or insisted on releasing live butterflies - some bridesmaid rolls her eyes at that particular decision. Most brides would run out of people to stand up with them if every person "approved" of everything related to the wedding.

As far as the choice to be a bridesmaid, I'd consider 2 things: how good a friend the bride is to you, and can you afford what it will cost to be an attendant. If you're secure in those two points, I'd say, stand up with your friend.

I know what you are asking about, since I answered your last question. Are you not still asking about the same thing - if you have to approve of the traditions they are including in their wedding, and not just the marriage itself?

I will give you the same answer as before. You do not need to approve of the actual WEDDING, but you should approve of the marriage and be supportive of what your friend chooses to do.

I would hope that the person standing up as a witness to the marriage would be supportive of her friend's choice to get married, as well as her choice of partner. If you cannot truly say that you support the marriage, I think it would be best if you decline the honor of being in the wedding. However, I would refrain from creating any unnecessary pre-wedding drama by venting your disapproval in a manner that could be considered hurtful or disrespectful to the bride and groom. It is well within your rights to decline a position in the bridal party; however, it is within nobody's rights to spoil someone's wedding day by voicing your disapproval loudly and publicly. A simple, "I am not really in a position to stand up in your wedding right now, but I'll be honored to attend as a guest," will suffice.

Ok, by standing in a friend/relative's wedding, you are saying that you support the couple and approve of their marriage. You can't support a wedding, it is merely the place/time that the marriage is taking place. If you take away the fact that people are getting married, the wedding itself is a sweet get together.

You support the marriage...not the wedding

Do you mean you are a groomsman or bridesmaid? No standing up at the wedding does not mean you approve of it. What it means is that you care about the bride or groom and you are their to support their decision. That even if marrying that other person is wrong you are standing by that bride or groom showing that you care and will always be there for them no matter what.

Are you meaning the "wedding" as the insitution that it is i.e. Church Ceremony getting married by a vicar and therefore you don't believe in any union like a wedding.

But that you agree to the Marriage - with marriage being defined as the relationship between your two friends.

If the above is the case, (i'm a little confused, so I'm sorry if its not) then if you agree with their relationship you should stand in the wedding. The actual Wedding Cermony is the couples personal choice to do with their beliefs and if I were them I would want my friends there to support me in my relationship rather than to back out based on their personal views of an insitution of marriage / religious ceremony

For instance: I'm getting married in Church, but some of my friends don't believe in God and therefore don't feel its right getting married in church, but they are still coming along because they support my relationship with my Fiance.

I hope this helps.

Standing in for someone at a wedding means you are supporting them and their decision to be married. You approve of the marriage in the sense that you see no reason why they shouldn't be married. I don't think it means you support every aspect of how the ceremony goes or what the officiant says.

traditionally the only people who have to 'approve' of the young couples nuptuals are both sets of parents.

Nor is it nesessary for you to approve of the institution of marriage, or the custom of having a wedding.

...and it most certainly is NOT a venue to air your personal beliefs on marriage and or weddings.

Not Your Life, Toots

Standing for a friend's wedding is just an honor bestowed apon the friend by either the bride or groom....they wish their closest peers to be with them at the altar when they exchange vows.

Your 'approval' of the marriage /wedding is not needed or asked for. All it implies is that you are close enough to one of the bridal couple that they wanted you to participate in their day....if you disapprove of their choice remember, the choice is THEIRS.....it's their Life & Their marrige. If you accept tjheir right to their choice, keep your mouth shut...if you can't, don;t accept. period. And since their choice in this respect is such a polar opposite of yours, then why have them as friends? Do not be an attendant, do NOT attend the wedding, and drop their friendship.

Wait... You approve of the marriage but not the WEDDING? If you approve of the marriage, then you might as well get on the wagon with the wedding. Either way, it implies that you approve of the PEOPLE who are getting married and their journey together. If you love and support them, then you should stand. It's not about a wedding, it's about their lives.