Stay at home, go back to school, both?

Question

I just turned 23 and still haven't finished my bachelors degree.  My son was born 2 years ago, and since then I've been going to school part time (and failing a few classes too...).  Right now I have 2 or 3 semesters left until I finish (between 21-26 credits, depending on if I student teach or not).  

I really don't know if I want to go back to school this fall, next winter, or even for the next year or so.  I know I have so little left to complete, but I really don't want to have to deal with the stress of trying to balance everything.  I don't want to just hand my son off to a babysitter all day so I can go to class, and then ignore him and pass him off to Daddy in the evenings so I can do my homework, and then have to worry about keeping up with the house and such too.  I feel like, right now while my son is still a toddler, that going to school and trying to be Mom would leave me doing both half way, and I don't want to be a half way parent, and can't be a halfway student.

So, what would your suggestions be?  (Yes, just suggestions so I can hear different view points.)  Should I just keep going to school part time and trying to be a good student who learns and does her homework and still try to not skip out on being a good mom, or should I wait for a year or so and go back when my toddler is a preschooler and I won't be passing my parenting responsibilities off on someone else just so I can go to school, or should I just take this semester off to regroup and then go back in January, even though I'd still be only parenting part way?

My husband doesn't have his degree either, but his job right now lets him provide enough that I can stay home and we can make ends meet.

Consider the Lilies · Accepted Answer

It seems that your own heart is telling you to focus on being the best mom you can be and to pursue school when you will have more time for it. 

You don't mention what your plans for the future include. Do you see yourself working while your son is in school or will you be home schooling? Either way your degree would be helpful and either way there is bound to be a better time to go to school than now when your son is so young.

As you've found out, it wastes your time and money (and hurts your GPA) to take classes when you don't have the time to put into them.

Do what you have peace about doing. I wish you the best!

ï ɓεℓσŋɠ ŧσ ℓųҡąş &amp; ŧσɓïąş ŧσσ﹗ · Answer

I'm 22 and my son was born in August 08, 3 weeks before I was due to go back to university.  I had a similar dilemma... but in the end, with support of my lecturers I continued with university and they actually let me take him into lectures in a sling (on the condition I left if he cried... which he never did!).  Obviously, it's a different situation with a 2 year old.  By the time Lukas was 8 months old, I caved in and put him in nursery for a couple of days per week so I could actually study (he was crawling, climbing, teething... nightmare).   I nearly took a year out, and then nearly didn't go back several times, but I dragged myself through it and I'm so glad I did now... it's all over and I have a degree!  

I know exactly how you feel... being a working/studying mum is like being torn in too.  You either neglect your studies or your child and it feels like no one wins.  BUT if you continue... it will be over sooner, then you can concentrate purely on your son.  I now have all the time in the world for my 10 month old and despite my being complete anti-childcare before, he seemed to gain a lot from it (learning new things, watching other babies etc).  

I hope you find what's best for your family.

Arwen · Answer

I tried school when my kids were little, it was VERY hard to split my time between toddlers and school and I gave up.

I tried again when my kids entered school and did much better. Take a year or two off, then finish up those last two semesters in a single year. It will be MUCH easier.

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Stay at home, go back to school, both?

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