I'm 12 weeks pregnant, how do I give my baby up for adoption?

First of all: Not selfish. Look at the efforts you put into trying to change who you are to satisfy others and consider their feelings first. This is even before a baby was involved. So kudos to you for working through your own personal challenges and finding the truth in your life.

Secondly: Not selfish. You have considered all the options and can look back on past experiences like the miscarriage to shape your decision making. If only everyone could assess their history like that, there would be fewer poor decisions.

You really are informed about all the challenges you would face in raising a child AND it's impact on that child.

Lastly, you have seen the benefits of adoption as well, I'm sure, the challenges of taking in children whose short lives have been made difficult by circumstances beyond their control. Your'e not blind to the pros and cons of adoption.

Your decision seems very well balanced and I'll be honest, if you were in Canada, I would brave the onslaught of insults and attacks and offer our home as a potential family since we are ready to adopt again. This is because you are at an old enough age where you are trying to balance the emotional pain of letting your child go with the logic of adoption, in your case.

There is a very fortunate family in the UK who will benefit from your decision and hopefully, you will be able to keep some sort contact (if you wish) so that you can take part on some level.

You are right...you will be vilified and attacked by some who seem to have a hard time sharing their view without be cruel. So the length of your post is appropriate. Thank you for not aborting

Please contact an adoption attorney or licensee in your area to get all the information you need. The birth father needs to be considered in the process and they are the best resource for all the steps you need to take. That is why I will refrain by getting too detailed on the process. We're not in the same country.

All the best to you and your child.

It sounds like you are going through a very hard time right now. Maybe you feeling like you don't want the baby is really you just being upset and angry at everything else you are dealing with and it's just being misplaced. When I've had a lot to deal with I know that I misplace my anger or hurt sometimes and don't realize it until things have calmed down. If you have friends or family members that you can trust try talking to them. Or find a counselor in your area. Sometimes just having someone to talk to helps. I hope things start to get better. I know what your husband is doing must be hurtful. As painful as it is now just try to look to the future and plan a better life and situation for you and your child. You both deserve better then what you're getting. I'm not saying it will be easy, but there is hope for something better if you're willing to go after it. Best wishes to you and your family.

Reading your situation I would say adoption would be the best choice. If you go through with an adoption just know what a selfless act you are doing and your baby will be raised in a good home (not that you wouldn't give it a good home). Your not being selfish at all. I think you just want whats best for your child. If you could find a better job or get more financially stable maybe you could keep your baby. I can tell you already love it. It's your life and your child you need to decide what's best for both of you, though I hope you don't choose abortion. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can keep your baby. Adoption would be the hardest thing you would ever have to do but always try to think about what's best for the baby.

I hope things turn out for the best.

Do what you think you need to do, but just be aware of the consequences for the child and yourself. I know first hand what it's like to have attachment issues because of being adopted. I'm very glad my biological mother didn't abort me, but it's a horrible problem to have and is more real than most would like to admit.

At least try for an open adoption. I think that many of my problems would have been less severe if I had known my birth mother when I was young and had an idea of why she gave me up for adoption.

Really, you don't need to defend yourself to anyone on here. You're an adult and you and the child are the ones who have to live with the outcome.

Hi! I'm not going to judge you because I'm an 18 year old guy and I know nothing of being pregnant or struggling to be who you really are. I'm sorry for you that things had to turn out this way but you're in this situation now and you have to deal with it. As abortion and raising it yourself are clearly no option, you'd do well with keeping the child and giving it up for adoption. As you may know, this process is incredibly emotionally straining because you'll have carried the child for 9 months and then have to give it away. Chances are you might reconsider at the last moment, but right now you're confident so what you need to do is find a couple that really wants a child and a couple you feel good about and who you think are gonna give your baby a better home. You can find such couples through an adoption agency, through newspapers, Social Services and maybe you personally know a couple who is seeking to adopt. Then you go through the legal specifics (open or closed adoption etc.) with the future parents and their lawyer yourself. You can also choose to surrender the parental rights to your adoption agency and they will find suitable contendants for you.

It's a long and hard process, but in the end you and hopefully your child too will know it's for the best.

Good luck!

You have brought me to tears. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. This decision is a hard one. I'm glad you have decided not to terminate. But I think you should reconsider your reasons for giving the baby up. If in fact you feel like your situation will only get worse or never change by all means, give your baby a better home. But if your struggle is temporary, stick it out, get assistance from whereever you can, the state, Lee, his family, do what you can and it would look up eventually. God Bless You!

p.s. If your final choice is adoption just google adoption, all agencies have a one eight hundred number for emergencies that help birth mothers. Call them, they will help you through the process.

You sound like a very reasonable person. If I were in your shoes, I would get financial help from lee. Bear in mind that while you may not want the responsibility of a child yet, you may in the future and agencies aren't always so eager to give gay couples the opportunity to adopt. That leaves you with the choice of ivf or an affair with a man, which seems like alot of hassle when you are already pregnant. I've heard of government programs that help with daycare expenses, you may look into that. I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you come to.

You clearly state that suffered after you miscarried. Giving your child up for adoption will be a suffering that will stay with you forever. With your miscarriage, there was at least closure. With adoption, there is no closure. It is forever. It is permanent. You will be scarred for life. Your child will be too. There is NO getting over it. As a matter of fact, the grief intensifies as you age.

Seems like everyone easily encourages adoption, but they have not actually LIVED it. I have. I can tell you it is a slow torture being separated from your child. It is a hell on earth, that you never ever recover from. Before you make a decision on adoption, you need to speak to women who have been down that road, and have lived the loss. We are who you will be if you chose adoption.

I would not recommend adoption to any young women. It is forever heartbreak.

well i would keep the baby when i was 18 i was dating the perfect guy for me we had some problems and seperated two weeks after i found out i was preggers and we got back together but it dident work out and we split of cause and i was faced with the same delemma i chose to keep my baby and yes it was hard i also had to move to a unit from a house and had no choice but to leave my job as there is no point working just to pay for child care so i can work but i made it through and im so glad i did that baby is now 10 years oil and has three other siblings and a new dad so go for it girl good luck

I'll adopt your child. I want to adopt so bad and their are millions of children that need to be adopted. The catch? I'm a Lesbian I have been with my girlfriend for three years. If we were married it would make us able to adopt together but since we are gay.. we are screwed. I want a child so bad and obviously we can not have one together.. Good luck. If you love your child and you are not able to take care of them.. Give them up for adoption. They still get a life and most likely a better one. If you start looking now you can have an adoptive family picked up before they are born.