drkangel210e

My one year old cat is occasionally having accidents around the house. (I can only conclude they're accidents, as it's only a little bit of poop at a time, not what she usually leaves in the litter box.) She's also obese. (Yes, we're beginning serious attempts to handle this. We also have her brother, a very thin cat, and we don't want to starve him in the process.)

Does her weight contribute to this or are there other factors I should worry about? They eat a high quality, grain free diet with both wet and dry food.

My one year old cat is occasionally having accidents around the house. (I can only conclude they're accidents, as it's only a little bit of poop at a time, not what she usually leaves in the litter box.) She's also obese. (Yes, we're beginning serious attempts to handle this. We also have her brother, a very thin cat, and we don't want to starve him in the process.)

Does her weight contribute to this or are there other factors I should worry about? They eat a high quality, grain free diet with both wet and dry food.

I'm currently on maternity leave (returning on the 29th). My maternity leave is unpaid, since I was a contract employee. They are hiring me on as a salaried employee when I return. To help make ends meet, I've been doing freelance work since I started maternity leave. Also, I do some remote work for my primary employer. We have student loan debt and two kids, so doing the extra work is necessary. We moved during the last month, and I organized the move. Also, I try to cook and clean the house while DH is at work.

Here's the issue: he doesn't seem to appreciate it. Generally, he talks/complains a lot about his job when he gets home. I don't mind listening because, well, he needs to get it off his chest and I generally like talking to him. Thing is, don't usually complain when things are stressful with my freelancing, when I didn't get enough sleep because of the kids, etc.

Today, he got upset with me because he was up with our two year old who wouldn't go back to sleep. DH probably got around 5 hours of sleep last night. I would have gotten up with her, but the baby was wanting to be fed and he's not really good at getting the baby to settle. He said that my work "Isn't really hard" like his. (We're both office workers. He's designing a database, and I do technical writing.) He also doesn't really want to watch the kids so that I can go work out a couple times a week. (I watch them so that he can work out.) I've lost all the weight but I have zero muscle tone and feel gross.

Generally speaking, how can I get him to appreciate what I do for us? Should I complain more? I can't just stop working because we would miss the 4000+ per month I've been bringing in.

My daughter is taking 3 hour naps at her childcare provider's house. Problem is, she seems to be extending those naps into four hour sleep sessions. She can sleep through the night on her own when she's worn out, but lately she's been getting up at 5am and going to bed at 10pm. Tonight, she went to bed at 10pm and woke up at midnight. We weren't able to get her back to sleep. Go figure, she slept for 4 hours this afternoon.

Here's my issue: I'd like to just ask my childcare provider to slowly reduce DD's nap time from 3+ hours to around 2. We do that on the weekend and it makes a big difference. Thing is, DD can throw a huge fit if she's woken up early. Like screaming, hitting, hysterical fit. I don't know if it's right to put that on my childcare provider. On the other hand, my childcare provider might be letting her sleep thinking we're not keeping her in any sort of schedule at home. In other words, we're working against each other without realizing it. What should I do?

My daughter is nearly 2 1/2 and generally has an easy, sweet temperment. For the past month, she's been having emotional meltdowns. Usually, it's in response to stress (tired, hungry, frustrated). She'll bang her head, scream, try to hit, and won't allow herself to be distracted or comforted.

To make matters more complicated, we had to start her in childcare for the first time. My husband has been home with her for the past year, and either her grandmother or I watched her before that. Yesterday was her first day and she did fine. (She's being watched by a SAHM who has an infant son and watches a 3 year old boy.) Today, I got a call at work. She basically freaked out and started trying to hit Hillary (our childcare provider) when she tried to take a toy from her to put it away. Then, she tried to hit the 3 year old little boy. After that, she ran into the back bedroom, laid down and fell asleep. She couldn't be comforted or distracted.

The source of the stress in this case was obviously being overtired. As she works into her new schedule, I would hope that things would improve on that front. What worries me is the hitting and inconsolable screaming. DH has Autism in his family... She is very social when she's not freaking out.

What should I do? I'm almost full term with another baby, and I'm terrified that there's something wrong with my daughter.

My daughter is nearly 2 1/2 and generally has an easy, sweet temperment. For the past month, she's been having emotional meltdowns. Usually, it's in response to stress (tired, hungry, frustrated). She'll bang her head, scream, try to hit, and won't allow herself to be distracted or comforted.

To make matters more complicated, we had to start her in childcare for the first time. My husband has been home with her for the past year, and either her grandmother or I watched her before that. Yesterday was her first day and she did fine. (She's being watched by a SAHM who has an infant son and watches a 3 year old boy.) Today, I got a call at work. She basically freaked out and started trying to hit our Hillary (our childcare provider) when she tried to take a toy from her to put it away. Then, she tried to hit the 3 year old little boy. After that, she ran into the back bedroom, laid down and fell asleep. She couldn't be comforted or distracted.

The source of the stress in this case was obviously being overtired. As she works into her new schedule, I would hope that things would improve on that front. What worries me is the hitting and inconsolable screaming. DH's family has Autism in his family... She is very social when she's not freaking out.

What should I do? I'm almost full term with another baby, and I'm terrified that there's something wrong with my daughter.

I'm having a little girl in August. There are two names that I love:

Isla Wren

Fiona Lynn

I want to avoid a name that's extremely popular. I was an 80's baby, and it seemed like there were 3 Katies in every class I had growing up. For those who don't know, Isla is pronounced Eye - lah.

Our surname is McKinsey. Which name would you pick and why?

I'm pregnant with our second child, and, honestly, it's making me stupid. I lose everything, forget what I'm saying, etc. Usually, I take my wedding ring (it's welded together) off when I cook dinner/wash dishes because I don't want soap/raw meat on it. About a month ago, I took the ring off and haven't seen it since. We've looked and looked... I feel awful.

Here's the thing: If I've lost it, I'd like to replace it at some point. Being pregnant without a ring gets me some weird looks from older folks, and I could do without that. How do I bring up replacing it with something inexpensive? DH tends to be a bit cautious with spending money. We're not in a position to replace the original. We've had some marriage problems over the past couple years. Clearly, losing it in the first place is my fault and I'm not trying to get him to spend on something that we can't really afford.

Do I just pick out something cheap out and get it myself? (Cheap being a $60 knock-off.) Is it wrong to want to replace it sometime in the distant future?

I usually always tipped when going to a hair stylist. Every stylist I'd ever been to had the option of adding the tip to the bill when I ran my debut card (like in a restaurant). I moved, and found an amazing stylist that I've been going to for the past year. The salon where she works doesn't have the option of doing this (the tip line isn't there on the receipt). Since she works at a nice place, I thought that she was getting paid from the cost of service and that tipping wasn't appropriate.

Now, I think I might have made a big mistake. My mom never went to the stylist when I was growing up. I'm in my 20's, but I really don't know jack about salon etiquette. Should I change stylists? I'm so embarrassed about this. I probably would have given her over 100 dollars by now if I'd been tipping.

I'll try to keep this brief:

My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. We were married while in college and graduated at the start of the recession. Over the years, we had problems. Both of us were very young and I always thought we could work through them. He seemed to share this belief.

Fast forward to three years ago. We decided to start a family. Soon after I got pregnant, he lost his job and we had to move to another state to find a better job market. Our student loans, the economy, and stress took their toll.

Long story short, a year ago, he tried to cheat on me with women online. When I found out and confronted him about it, he got violent with me. We separated for awhile and got back together. Since then, I was able to find a high paying job. He lost his job and has been unemployed for almost a year. He has trouble keeping jobs because he has Asperger's.

I'm having trouble trusting him. I want to trust and respect him. I do love him. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to believe in him as I did before. Part of me is afraid of him, afraid that he'll physically hurt me again, afraid that he'll cheat, afraid that I'm fooling myself...

Please give me advice so that I can save my marriage.

I don't want to gross anyone out, and I very much wish that this was just a troll. It isn't.

If someone, let's say DH, has had food poisoning diarrhea and didn't quite make it to the bathroom... how would you disinfect the linoleum/carpet? I already wiped everything up with paper towels. Then, I mopped the linoleum with PineSol. Should I bleach too? If so, how?

For the carpet, I used rug cleaner and paper towels. You can't see anything, but I'm wondering if there's something else I can do.

Cleaning divas, help me!

I'll keep this simple: My husband and I have been married for nearly seven years. Over the past three years, we've struggled a lot financially and as a couple. (Being in college and in love is much easier than negotiating the real world in a recession with a new baby.) In many ways, it seems that we've made it through some of the rough patch. I have a good job. He's unemployed, but the point is we're making ends meet. Our debt will be payed off within a few months (a huge deal).

Today I started thinking about the fact that it's Valentine's Day. I had originally planned on cooking a nice dinner for us to eat after our daughter's in bed. Then, it occurred to me that I'm always the one who plans these things, cooks, etc. He hasn't really made an effort for any holiday in years. I buy his mom flowers on mother's day, you get the picture. To top it off, we've had some pretty serious marital issues to go with the financial stress. I'm having trouble re-connecting with him emotionally. I bet he probably feels the same. I'm pregnant again and stressed out because it was unplanned. (Apparently IUD's fail too.)

I feel hopeless and sad. I don't feel like making an effort this Valentine's Day because I feel like I'm doing this alone/going through the motions. Does anyone have any constructive advice? I hate feeling this way.

My sister-in-law was reported to CPS and is being investigated along with the children's father. Things don't look very good. SIL and her two kids are living in a one-bedroom apartment with a friend and two other kids. My MIL is lying and telling CPS that they live with her. (SIL won't move in with MIL because they don't get along.) She's accused of using pills and cocaine. I know for a fact that she does pills. There's been reported domestic violence between her and her boyfriend (children's father). Her 3 year old was told me that "daddy hits me in the face."

Long story short, there's a chance she might temporarily lose custody of her kids. My husband and I live out of state. Within the next six months we'll have a house, no debt, etc. We have a daughter that's a year younger than my SIL's two girls, so we're experienced parents. I don't want to see my SIL's kids go into the foster system. Could we potentially be foster parents for her children? If she was willing to sign over guardianship, would the system let us raise her children for a few years while she gets her life together. (Obviously, I'd want her to be around them as much as possible. I'd ask her to come live with us if she wasn't into drugs.)

Is there anything we can do to help?

I just found out I'm pregnant today. It's a surprise and I'm still trying to adjust to the news. Tell me your favorite boy and girl names for our unexpected surprise!

My daughter is named Evangeline Mae McKinsey (last name McKinsey). We call her Eva.

I have a feeling this will be a boy... Thanks!!

I'll keep this simple:

My sister-in-law is 21 years old and has two small children with an abusive bum. She's been with him since she was 14 (he's 30) and her daughters are 2 and 3. He has anger management issues (cops have been called in the past) and he hasn't worked since the oldest daughter was 3 months old. She goes to school and works almost 40 hours a week. Thankfully, she's finally made the choice to leave him and move back in with her mom while she finishes school.

Here's my question: how does she get full custody of her daughters? He watches them while she works, but I worry that he'll ask her for child support when she finally gets through school and gets a job. She'd be willing to have someone else watch them during the day, but she still wants to allow them to have some contact with him. What should I advise her to do? (She asked me.)

I'm working as tech writer/editor for a company that runs a very popular site for developers. They also have some in-house development projects. My managing editor and I make up the whole editorial department. We're managing a site with over 500,000 registered users and trying to write copy, create manuals, etc. It's a lot of work, and management is practically nonexistent.

Here's the problem: I've been there three months and the owner of the company has essentially told me, in confidence, that he will fire me if I don't go over the editor's head and make changes to the site. Keep in mind that he's given me no explicit authority to do so. In fact, he told my editor to be more involved in managing my workload. Basically, I was told that our editor "can't manage" and that it's my job to replace him.

Here's the question: should I just leave and seek opportunity elsewhere? I have a lucrative freelance writing base that I can fall back on, and a 60K/year contract position I could take... Can anyone think of alternatives?

This is a bit of a strange question, and there's a lot of extraneous family history behind all of it. I'll try to keep it simple:

My daughter is a year old today. She's bright and has been using single words since at least Christmas. (Has been saying "mama," and "dada" since before then. Fact is, however, she's very much a tactile learner, not auditory.

All this is great, but I have an issue. My parents tend to compare her speech development to mine. I was speaking clear individual words by the time I was five months old, and complete sentences by eight months. I wasn't very keen on motor skills, etc. (I know I was a freak. I wouldn't believe it if they didn't have videos and witnesses.) It makes me feel bad when they compare her speech development to mine, asking why she sometimes lapses into rounds of "babababa" "dadadada. She's very bright, she's just not auditory. Also, she does say short, two word sentences, she generally just prefers more "emotive" vocalizations.

I guess I don't really know what normal is. Is she normal and should I be worried? Should I feel bad that my parents compare the two of us? I'm probably overreacting.

Long story short, we've been having some pretty serious problems in our marriage, our financial life, and our sex life. We were having sex several times a day (this is with having a 10 month-old baby). I was working from home as a writer. Then, I found out that he was trying to cheat on me with women online. I left for a few weeks so that he could figure out what he really wants out of life, since we've been having problems off and on for awhile.

Fast forward a month. I moved back in and got a job outside the home to make a more consistent income and to build a career. He works 12 hour night shifts that rotate weekends, I work day shifts. There's only really a few days a week we're even around each other for more than an hour early in the morning. When we're around each other and the baby's asleep, we have sex.

Here's the problem. He's not happy with that. I'm fighting my feelings of betrayal, trying to build a new job, and I'm still doing contracts for my clients in my free time. (I don't have a choice. We're trying to claw our way out of student loan debt hell. If I don't make extra, we'll go under.) He gets mad at me when I turn him down for sex after he just not five minutes ago was telling me to go cry in the other room (he hurt my feelings) because he doesn't care.

I don't want to be a bad wife, but I'm really getting pushed to my limit here. What should I do?

I'm devastated. We bought a green cheek connure three years ago. Things were going well and he was an important part of our family. Then, we had a baby. Because the baby and Mr. Pickles didn't get along in the same space, we had to put him in his cage for increasing amounts of time each day. It was taking a toll on him, and I decided it would be best to find him a home with someone who knew about birds, didn't have young children, and could take excellent care of him.

After three months of searching for the right person, I thought I'd found her. She already has a quaker parrot, her kids are all over 10 years old, and she loves birds. She took him home last weekend, and everything was going well. Then, she decided to let him outside without a leash, outside of a cage. Long story short, he's gone. The idiot didn't even try putting his cage outside with food in it to see if he would come back down. After being outside for three days, a gusty wind blew him away. She only told me a few hours ago.

I can't forgive myself. :-(