I don't trust my husband... What to do?

Question

I'll try to keep this brief: 
My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. We were married while in college and graduated at the start of the recession. Over the years, we had problems. Both of us were very young and I always thought we could work through them. He seemed to share this belief. 
Fast forward to three years ago. We decided to start a family. Soon after I got pregnant, he lost his job and we had to move to another state to find a better job market. Our student loans, the economy, and stress took their toll. 
Long story short, a year ago, he tried to cheat on me with women online. When I found out and confronted him about it, he got violent with me. We separated for awhile and got back together. Since then, I was able to find a high paying job. He lost his job and has been unemployed for almost a year. He has trouble keeping jobs because he has Asperger's. 

I'm having trouble trusting him. I want to trust and respect him. I do love him. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to believe in him as I did before. Part of me is afraid of him, afraid that he'll physically hurt me again, afraid that he'll cheat, afraid that I'm fooling myself... 

Please give me advice so that I can save my marriage.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hey, you got married, you wanted a family -so just go to work and dont worry about the rest. Womans rights hey.

? · Answer

Have you two tried some sort of counseling? Maybe it will help if someone from the outside helped you work through trust issues.

I totally understand why you don't trust him though. One thing is the cheating, another is the violence. I'd have a hard time trusting someone like that as well.

h60noise · Answer

Once the trust is gone, it's gone.  And as for the violence.  The first time it's his fault, the next time it's yours for being there!  So get out before it happens again.  Sorry but the fact is your marriage is over, harsh I know but true.

Beth77 · Answer

You should buy one of those tiny cameras that you can't see at all no matter how hard you look and put them all around the house and see if he does anything bad through the cameras.If you catch him again you should divorce and never get back together because he ruined his chances twice.

marz_miller · Answer

I can give you advice, but it won't help save your marriage.

Once the trust is compromised, the relationship is on the fast track to being over.

In Voke Tha UNknown · Answer

sounds to me your trying to save something on its death bed, 
only thing thats keeping it alive is the machine breathing for you, (your fear)

its best just to leave eachother while you can, 
he is useing you cuz you have a job, 

just share the kiddies, 
and both of you find someone who cares for u both,

WB · Answer

Saving your marriage may not be in your, or your child's best interest. A leopard cannot change it's spots.

TopnotchBarbie · Answer

seek for professional help trust me thats going to work better then anybodys opinion on here hope i help and good luck to you

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I don't trust my husband... What to do?

8 Answers