How can I convince my sister that this man is no good for her? He treats her poorly yet she won't leave him?

Question

My sister is 24 years old. She has been living with this man in his 40's for almost 3 years. He was nice at first but has since turned into an @sshole. He keeps in contact with his ex-girlfriends though he says he has no feelings for them. He doesn't help my sister do any chores or shopping. He doesn't want her to work yet only gives her 40 dollars a week as an allowance. He makes a lot of degrading and dehumanizing "jokes" every day. And the list goes on. She was so stressed last year that her hair began to fall out. Her skin broke out in rashes, her period didn't come on for 2 months, she became allergic to certain products that she never was and so many other things. Everybody tells her that she looks 10 years older now and so miserable. Yet she won't leave him. What can I do to help her see the harm this man is causing her?

Sheena · Accepted Answer

Your sister is a legal adult. There is only so much that you can do to convince her to leave her man. I have been in quite a few abusive relationships. My friends and family members kept telling me to leave because I deserved better. Even though I knew they were right, I left when I got absolutely fed up with these no good men. And that's when your sister will leave her no good man. Until then just be there to comfort and encourage her whenever she needs you.

Anonymous · Answer

My best advice... Tell her. If that doesn't work.. Tell her she is probably looking bad because of this man. If that doesn't work... Try making a fool out of this guy.. by calling him names, making fun of him. Find flaws in his behavor.. And conitnue it. While doing that.. Tell your sister you'll leave her, if you don't want to do that. Tell her a lie.. that this man was cheating and you saw him with another woman kissing her, make up a complete bullshit lie. That normally works. Or... Become friends with the guy and tell him you don't like your sister, and tell him you have a girl that is hot (find a hot girl and tell her you'll play along tell her you need him to kiss her) then take a picture of this girl... and show it to your sister, and MAKE SURE to tell the girl that you find help from that she can't tell anyone that she knows you!! THAT IS THE BIG THING. And show your sister the picture - lap dances whatever it takes. Then she'll leave. OR if that doesn't work... follow him and find out whats going on with these other girls hes talking too. Make sure to bring a camera at all times! Or video camera... and CATCH HIM IN THE ACTION! I swear... people are that dumb to not notice yet.

Or you can try another approach, and tell your sister that if she continues this relationship... she will be miserbale.. and get your parents involved or relatives. Get your family together without her, and announce the scenerio is about her, and how you feel.. then let people speak.. if most agree this guy should go - then you take action and catch this guy doing something completely wrong..

If you shes asks you where you got this footage of him doing this behind her back... 
Tell her you never liked him and you were sick of him hurting you without you seeing it...
Tell her you did it because you cared and wanted to make sure it was a perfect match..
I'm serious...
If you don't... she will live in misery.

Johnny · Answer

The only thing that you can do is be there for your sister. She's a grown woman who will do what she wants when she feels like doing it. When she is really sick of all of this abuse, she will get rid of this @sshole. Until then, just be there to support her in times of need.

The Difference · Answer

Y'know when peole think their in love of are just plain ole in denial I tend to ask them what they think about certain events I have seen them go through and I always say it's about someone I love. They generally give me answers like "she shoud, leave that SOB or poor, thing, he's a horrible horrible man". I later let it out that it was them I was talking about. Let them think about their own situation otherwise they think you're jealous or trying to do them harm.

johnny_depp_fann · Answer

Does she say why she wont leave him? the only thing to do is to try to explain to her that she could have better and that this guy doesnt love her if he is doing this stuff. tell her that if shes not happy and he is making her this miserable that there is no sense in staying with him.

Sufi · Answer

stop trying to convince her to leave.  instead just listen to her and be her friend.  try to understand why she stays.  the thing is when you stop being 'against' her, it's easier for her to make her own decision to leave.  stop pushing so she will stop pushing back and can see for herself and make her own decision.  use empathy to understand her.  it's hard but do it!

Sunshyne · Answer

you cant. ive been there myself and married his *** too.. stupid me!! her blinders are up!! she isnt gonna see it til he starts doing stuff that isnt exceptable... ive been there.. and then she'll learn. then she leave on her own... jus pray for her.

Anonymous · Answer

you cannot convince anyone of anything.

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How can I convince my sister that this man is no good for her? He treats her poorly yet she won't leave him?

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