My 16 year old son wants to marry an 18 year old girl he says he is in love with?

Who's in charge here? You or your son? I guess your son since you allowed him at the age of 14 to date a 16 year old girl. You do realize that girls mature a couple of years faster then boys do, plus add on the fact that she's already 2 years older then him?

Your son hasn't even graduated from high school. He still has to go to college and land a good paying job, before he's in a financial position to get married.

It's time for you to explain the facts of life to your son. Being married is a big responsibility, it's not two teenagers playing house.

If you are so afraid that you will lose your son if you dare say no to something he wants, then maybe you should teach him that marriage isn't really what he thinks it is.

First talk to the girl's parents and find out if they will agree to your idea. If they say yes, then tell your son you won't give him your consent to get married. You will let them live together. Make up a list of rules that they must follow and if they break the rules, he has to move back home.

Your son's girlfriend must use a good birth control and they have to make sure she doesn't get pregnant.

Your son must go to school every day, keep up his grades and graduate from high school.

They must get their own apartment. They can't live with either parent.

They must support themselves with no financial help from either parent. That means neither parent pays any of their bills, give them money for gas or buy groceries for them. Or give them money for anything else.

They have to provide their own transportation to school, work, or anywhere they need to go.

They can't break any laws.

They want to be adults and get married, well this is what an adult has to do. They have to stand on their own feet and not depend on their parents.

If they break any of the rules, then the deal is off and he has to move back home until he grows up and he can handle the responsibilities of being a man.

A friend of mine sort of did the same thing with his 16 year old son, except the only rule he made was that he wouldn't give his son any kind of help and his girlfriend couldn't live at his house.

His son lived at his girlfriend's parents house and he quit school. Seven months later his son was miserable and couldn't live that way anymore. His son came back home to live with him and he's back in school.

I personally would tell my son, he can't get married or live with this girl.

Gently point out to your son that as yet they are far too young to take on the responsibility of marriage. Go over the financial side, how much it would cost to rent a place, pay the fuel bills, buy food etc - and provide for a baby, should he get the girl pregnant. Don't criticise the girl at all, but say you'd rather he finished his education and got a job that would let him support a wife and child.

To be honest with you, he doesn't seem terribly grown up to me, but in the throes of teenage love. I'd say they're almost certainly having sex, he's been carried away by this and now the girl's proposed and put this idea into his head. Tell him that if it truly is the real thing, they'll still be together in five years time and then would be a better time to marry. The chances are, though, that the whole thing will be over by then.

I prefer not to give advise. However I will say this. What if your son, say was 21 and wanted to marry a 16 old girl....or better yet. What if you had a daughter who was 16, said yes to a 21 year old man's proposal for marriage.

At this point you and your husband both, have been contributing to the delinquency of a minor. You have allow him to be disillusioned, and you should pay the price for finally doing what was right all the long.

Now you ask what should we do.....because we are afraid our son will be traumatized if you say NO!!. So all the long, you been thinking about yourself, and your son has slipped through the cracks in a dysfunctional marriage and home.

If they are as in love as they think they are then they can wait until they are both 18. And if they don't think that's fair then they obviously have a problem thinking long term and thinking commitment which is what marriage is all about!

If you don't want your son to rebel against you, keep the lines of communication going. Even if you don't consent to the marriage you can still have talks with him about marriage and relationships and commitment and so on.

I guess the biggest question is why is next fall so important? And if they can't wait then they obviously don't understand the scope of forever.

What you want at 16 isn't what you want at 17, what you want at 17 isn't what you want at 18. What you want at 18 isn't what you want at 19, 20 ,21 etc. In love at 16? That's only hormones. Nothing more.

Listen now a days children do grow up fast and I understand that your son will resent you but when it comes to people in life you sometimes have to let them make there own decsions and let them bump there head and have them learn from there mistakes but the best thing you can do right now is be there for him.

I can't even believe you are even coming to answers for this. Let the little shittt rebel all he wants. I would never EVER EVER condone that! when this marriage ends... and he grows up, he'll think you were the incompetent parent and if you agree to this insane idea, I would have to agree!

Both of these people will change dramatically over the next five years. They do not need to get married now.

Suggest a long engagement. This is what tough love is all about, staying firm in doing what you as an adult knows is best for your son, who is still a child.

Oh come on.

this has to be a joke.

your his parents, and you obviously know at 16 years old marriage is impossible...

you know very well that he is a horney 16 year old boy, and he just wants to get laid but has no clue about marriage.

All 16 year old teenagers want to get married, but that doesn't mean they can. Thats why its not legal. Because they are too young.

Just tell him no, and he can wait until he is 18 if he wants.