Does It Seem Like Most Answers Regarding . . .?

Yes some of the questions on here become repeatedly asked. Sometimes one right after another of the very same topic. Then I wonder if some just answer with the same response without ever giving much thought into what they are saying.

Early morning rambling is probably the best time to be thinking as your sub concious is still functioning. Your daily brain waves haven't started functioning yet.

And what gets me is some don't even read the question that is being asked from someone who has put allot of thought into it. Some just go into repatisha response and answer it the same as everybody else does. Wheres everyone's individuality?

I can see why it would upset you, but in this world these double-standards merely exist. I am probably guilty of having given some of the answers you so despise, but usually as the poster above me mentioned because the question insinuates that ALL lesbians, every butch thinks or feels a particular way.

I think a lot of people answer things such as, "Just because someone, etcetera, etcetera," is because from things like media and society generalize all lesbians to have chopped hair and all gay men to have lisps, which makes many LGBTers go the opposite way of -- we're not all like that, meanwhile putting off the fact that hey, some lesbians are butch, some gay men are effeminate and that's what some people prefer. It's about preferences, and not all of us can be squeezed into a category.

Um, I like some butch girls. Overall I like more femme-type girls than butch girls, but my ex was a total boi, and I was insanely attracted to her.

I think the reason some people become combative is in an attempt to dispel stereotypes (that lesbians come in only two flavors, femme and butch, and that each lesbian relationship must have a "man" lesbian and a "woman" lesbian).

What it really is is that people like to break each other down into categories. Without traditional gender roles, it's hard to do, and so they see it that way, as a way of making it easier to understand for themselves.

I'm not sure I'm making sense either, but I'm sick, and I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

Okay, I'm a lesbian. And honestly, I get a little annoyed by all these stereotypes that I hear about:

Lesbians hate men

Lesbians are butch

All lesbians wear plaid

Lesbians have no emotions, etc

You know these are obviously stereotypes. And I grant the fact that there are a lot of femme girls for example who go out with butch girls, but not all of them. By answering, "Not all of them" I'm instantly shooting down this stereotype which suggests all lesbian women are like that.

If you were to ask a question like "Why do black people dress like gangsters," some people might consider that a bit of a racist remark, and rightly so. Yes, some black guys do dress like gangers, but some of them dress in suit and tie. I consider questions about lesbians or gays like this to be the same.

Hope this makes sense.

There's a good deal of truth in what you say. Generally, if I give an answer like the ones you deplore, it's because the question was phrased as an absolute. "All feminine guys" or "All butch women" and such. And those deserve to be deflated a bit.

But the persistent attention to the butch/femme scale is warranted because we place so much emphasis on it.

It's worthy of discussion for sure.

I like o think tht I am not alone in wanting to be loved and appreciated for the me inside me, and not the sum of my parts. So, If I choose a personal style in dress, or manners, or public personality, that is counter to the real me, then what I'm doing is saying, a couple of things, first I'm saying that what you see on the street is an illusion, and its not the real me, as the real me is too vulnerable to put it all out there without a vail. Second, its saying I'm realyy fine in my relationships right now, and I don't really need to be attracting that special person right now , either because I've already found Her/him/it, or because I'm intentionally going it alone just now. So, people are really mostly correct when they say its all on the inside that matters. It sounds like a milk toast, cliche statement, but I think that answer is really right. Why there are people that are attracted to the style of others just when they are throwing out " Not for You" vibes? I have no clue. But some people perhaps are so sick of the normal PC , no risk style of the heard, that they are attracted to the personality, not the apperarance of people, that say, This is me, perhaps I look weird to you, but I don't need to follow the rules, because I'm fine inside no matter what others think.

I guess I ramble evenmore than you. Hope this makes sense to somebody.

i think you bring up a good point. the anger you see is the generalizations that occur against our community. you're correct in saying these dynamics do exist. The problem is they aren't the only ones that exist. We belong to a community that gets defined in the media by just about anyone who isn't part of our community. i know i'm personally tired of someone else trying to tell me who i am or pigeon hole me into only certain ways of being. It's fine if that's what i choose, but it's not my only choice.

Extra credit- how much of non-standard gender expressions are about who a person is rather than who they think they should/supposed to be? Why does masculine/feminine equal certain clothes or attitudes?

Well, we all have things that make us tick, darlin. Mine would be the amalgomation of racism and sexuality on here. Seriously.

In answer to your question, we ALL have preferences. I happen to like athletic guys - but not everyone does.

My mom's a lesbian - she's real feminine but likes the proverbial flannel and birkenstocks type of girl. It's all in personal taste and there's nothing wrong with being externally attracted at first!

I don't know nothing 'bout birthing no lesbians. That's why I don't answer these types of things.

I can tell you all about birthing cows but it hardly seems appropriate to equate cows with lesbians. I'm sure of that.