Am I just weird for feeling this way?

I don't collect child support for my oldest child. I did at one point in time because my husband and I needed a little state help to get us into this aparment and out of his folks house.(the way the program worked was they would pay our down payment/first months rent and we would pay them back over 6 months) And the worker had told me that I needed to file for child support, I had to keep it for about a year, went to the court dates and everything like that, my ex made 3 payments. I hated getting them. To me it felt like the man I married couldn't support me and my child. After the year was over, I didn't apply for it again. And told my ex that I didn't want child suport from him, but I did expect him to help me with our son. Because my ex lives so far away and can't see Zeke every weekend, we agreed Brian (my ex) would come down to Kentucky and bring Zeke back to Minnesota for the summer. I wouldn't pay for it. It would all be on his dad. Well, my family lives up north as well, so in the summer time I would make my yearly trip to see my mom and old friends. I paid for all the gas and everything like that. This past summer was the first I didn't go, I had my youngest son to late into the summer time and by the time I would feel him ready to travel, I'd have a week up north. Didn't feel worth it.

So after school got out, I called Brian and told him to school was out and if he wanted Zeke to come and get him. He came got him and headed back. About a month later he emails me and asks me to help pay for gas for Zeke to get back home. If I don't pay the money, Brian wont have the money for gas to come down, meaning my son would be stuck up north. I sent the money and my son is back home now, thank god. Brian and his mother had done some school clothes shopping while he was up north. But later I found out the only reason they had done that, is because when they left they had forgotten his suit case and he didn't have any clothes but what he left in.

But I don't know what I should do. My mom says that I should collect child supprt and I should make Brian pay for alot more things in Zeke's life. But my husband can support us, my husband can take care of me and Zeke and our 3 other kids.

Should I collect child support. What would you do if you were in my shoes.