Pagans how would you deal with this job situation?

Unfortunately ignorance and false perceptions created by parents are difficult to overcome. My brother had a similar situation when he did his national service here. South Africa does not have a large Jewish community, and many rural people have never met a Jew and only know about them through rumour and what is taught to them by their local ministers.

So my brother goes into the army and is put into an unit with 11 others- one of whom is from a rural area and keeps staring at him while not coming too close. So, they then all get their hair shaved in true army style, get dressed in t heir new uniforms and line up by their beds (as my brother said- to stand there for at least an hour since "shut up and wait is in style in the army). At this point this guy blurts out "Where are your horns?"

There is a stunned silence and my brother slowly explains to this guy that Jews do not have horns, are not in league with the devil and are actually just normal people with different beliefs. Luckily the guy was bright enough to realise that an absence of horns meant that his elders were wrong (though he did take up my brothers offer to feel his head for any hidden horns LOL) and they actually became good friends (and laugh about the incident when it is brought up.)

Unfortunately you aren't going to be able to solve the problem by simply shaving your head. The only thing you can do is to behave in a way that encourages confidence and reduces fear. I would suggest stop offering her food etc- if she is scared that you are trying to poison her, or place a curse on her through food, such an action could be misconstrued as an enticement so you can achieve your aim.

Rather just place them out and let people take them. When she sees others eating them with no ill effects, she may tuck in herself- and that will hopefully lead her to finally relaxing and stop waiting for you to arrive at work with the devil in tow...

What a horrid situation! It is really sad to know that so many people still think like this. Did the parents know that you are wiccan before she came to work there, or is your religion common knowledge at work? I am just shocked that she would be allowed to work with an "evil devil worshiper". If her parents are so brainwashed to tell their child that you are going to hex, or poison her I dont understand their letting her be in any contact with you.

I really feel sorry for the girl in all this. She must be terrified of you! My suggestion is to simply leave things alone. Continue to act as you normally would if she were anyone else. Be nice, speak to her as you would any other co-worker. Perhaps she will see that you are not the demon her parents paint you to be. But if you try to talk to her about it, I am sure it will cause trouble. Thats a sure way for her to say that you are trying to "possess" her or some other nonsense.

Bright Blessings

Sounds like you've taken all the correct procedures. I suppose the only thing now is to document this to prevent any (further) false allegations being made about you - ones that may jeopardise your job.

Is the person who spoke to her prepared to do a Stat Dec about it?

Is there a HR person in the library, or someone who knows your local laws about Religious discrimination? You need to find someone else in Authority to talk to this child and explain that in the Real world she will be exposed to many people from many faiths. Someone to explain what religious tolerance is about (& your local laws). Someone to explain that she cannot just refuse to work with someone based on that person's faith - but refusing to work with you she's refusing to accept the training that it's your job to provide. If she cannot work with you, then maybe she needs to consider employment elsewhere.

YOU need to protect your self. Believe me if you don't take steps to protect your job, it's VERY likely her family will be encouraging her to try all manor of dirty tricks. BELIEVE ME I know, I was sacked from a 7 year job because I didn't recognise what a determined bigot could do, didn't realise the importance in documenting problems and didn't realise that I needed to save my *** until it was way to late.

.

She is brain washed and that is hard to break and I feel sad for her, But she has been told of these things so long the trust towards you will be hard for her ....And that is what I will tell you is give her time to trust you....You seem to be sweet so it will not be so hard for her to be with you in time but you have to also respect how she feels for it is not her fault that she feels this way.... Just be your self and she may come around but do not feel bad for the way she feels about you I can tell you care so if you do just let things work there way .....And Thank You for what you do with the younger children they are being lead by a very sweet person giving your time to others says a lot about you

Actions speak louder than words. Just show her that you're not going to "curse or poison her" and that you're not some demon from Hell. Show her that you're a good person who simply has a different belief system than her. Maybe leave a good book about Wicca laying around (if you have them in the library you work at) that's just a general overview of what you believe where you know she'll see it, could get interested and possibly read it, and realize that you're not as bad as she's been falsely indoctrinated to believe. Do it in a subtle manner--don't let her see you lay the book out--and then just go about doing your job as usual. I don't think that's pushy or proselytizing.

Being a former fundie myself, I know that they are indoctrinated to believe *only* what their pastor tells them and are discouraged from thinking for themselves and/or asking questions. I see this situation as a possible opportunity for you to open this girl's mind a bit and try to pull her out of the fundie darkness that she's been sucked into.

I don't think you can do anything. It's obvious that you have no ill will towards her but, she is a fundy. I'm a Christian and I don't understand fundies. If you try to make her feel safe or unthreatened around you, she might take it as encouragement to disobey her parents and she might find that insulting. She would have been better off not knowing what your faith is. If she would have never known, she would have never acted the way she did. How did her parents find out about your faith and why did they tell her? Nothing against you but, if these fundies don't approve of your faith and they knew about you then, why did they let their daughter work there? I agree with you that her parents shouldn't have scared her but, they shouldn't have allowed her to work there either. Why did her parents make her work in fear? That's not a good thing to do to a child. If I were you, I would avoid her as much as possible and be as kind as possible when you do have to work with her. Sorry to hear about that. I work with a lot of people and I have no idea what each persons faith is and I don't want to know. Her parents should have never told her and it shouldn't be brought up at work for these very reasons.

I am afraid all you can really do of any consequence is to continue to be kind to her. She is only trying to listen to her parents and following the only beliefs she has ever known. Maybe try to demonstrate to her that you a kind and compassionate. I don't know you but, I am willing to bet that you are a person of strong character with compassion. I say this because of your dialog I have read on here. I know I could be wrong, however I doubt it. Show her that love exists in all forms, including acceptance. Or you could stir her curiosity. I am afraid on this little amount of sleep that is the best I can come up with. Bright Blessings to you and yours!! And her especially.

Is she capable of learning and doing her job with you as her trainer? If she is, I wouldn't worry about it. If she is having problems with her job, I would suggest a different trainer, if possible. The main point of her being there is to learn and do her job. If there is no one else to train her and she can't do her job around you, there's a problem. Then your boss should sit down and have a talk with her.

I wouldn't worry about it in this situation because after the teen gets more comfortable, she will talk with my coworkers. My coworkers would vouch for my character. I absolutely wouldn't do anything that would make the girl think that I was pushing her to accept me. That would only backfire.

Nothing you can do really, when people get something stuck in there heads about you its hard to prove different.

All you can do is get on with your life, you do not need to work on people for them to like you and accept you. Life does not work that way.

If she does not take a brake that is her problem, stop making an effort as it is not getting you anywhere.

Talk to your boss and work on suggestions that 'does not isolate you'

If you press her and try convince her it may go wrong and seen as hassling.

I would ignore stupid and immature people no matter what age or standing. I am not wanting to bust a gut for everybody to like me, they either see what is there to make friends.

=O

I honestly wouldn't know how to react to that. In your position, I would try to talk with her, but in my experience, that gets us nowhere. But don't push it too much. Maybe if you have some friends in the work place, you can get them to talk about with you and her. And they can help explain that your peaceful, and that what she's been taught is more or less fairytale witchery. Not to be offensive, but explanatory.

But you may just have to deal with it, because these people are not easily convinced, and will stick to what they were taught.

Let me know how it goes...

Good Luck