Trying to find the right parents without feeling like I am selling my baby.?

If you ask for financial help, how is that not "selling a baby"? Struggling sucks, I've been there, but you can't be serious! If the prospective adoptive parents are paying you to have the baby... they are really getting in to grey areas as far as people selling/human trafficking.

Your expenses are your own, sadly. If you need more help, there ARE places that will help you with this kind of thing. Can't you get insurance through the government to cover prenatal stuff? I know that my ob/gyn had paperwork to fill out for it in his office.

If you aren't getting help from the father, you need to try, because the children you already have are suffering for it. This baby doesn't seem to be the biggest problem in your life right now. I really hope you get the help you need, but looking for someone to pay your expenses is just not okay.

Don't let them bother you.

Almost all adoption agencies do a background check, get financial information, and ensure that the families who are hoping to adopt can afford to take on a child. When you place with a family, they're - most likely, depending on the state - legally obligated to pay all of your medical fees associated with the pregnancy, as well as legal fees.

I recommend going on your states insurance anyway, since they can't deny you if you're pregnant, and you'll be able to not only have everything covered in the meantime, but you can go to the dentist, get a regular checkup, eye exam, etc, and it's all covered.

Some states are perfectly fine with the adoptive families paying for certain 'extra' expenses for the mother, like rent, maternity clothing, and even food. But other states, it's illegal - like in Maryland.

Your main concern with finding a family is to get someone who will love the baby as much as possible, and really desires one. Meet with an agency in person to discuss what you're looking for, the legalities, and your options.

I totally get it. I watch friends struggle with the benefits they do or do not get even when they try to work. It is just not enough. I live in FL and I have 4 kids, ages 11-18 yrs old. I currently am working on a home study so I can adopt an infant. i would be very interested in talking to you.I believe a woman should be pd expenses. Going thru an agency, they wll be pd for lost wages, housing, food, clothing, etc. Agencies require adoptive families to go thru so much paperwork and so much money to determine if you are good enough to be a parent. I understand part of it, but I think a real mom would be able to check out a family and determine if she trusts them enough to take her baby .contact me at 3522296243 or cynderellie1041@yahoo.com

Adoption agencies are usually pretty strict about looking up possible parents to adopt your child. I would expect that they would ensure that these people are financially stable enough to take care of you child.

Adoption is a long process adn only people that truly want to have and love your child and are ready to adopt will make through.

Are you considering open or closed adoption? If you consider open, you will be able to meet prospective parents and possibly get an idea of where they are at in their life.

If you go with a reputable agency (look 'em up on the internet, look into what kind of process they go through with the families wanting to adopt, make sure you like their process, make sure there aren't first mothers out there pissed that they were treated poorly, etc) then the family your baby goes to WILL be financially secure. It's part of the home study process to make sure families really are financially secure, so you need an agency you know does a good job--besides adopting a baby costs SO much money that you shouldn't need additional proof that the family is capable of providing for your child.

I would advise against agencies that have the adoptive parents pay living expenses for the first mom and that is because you don't want your child later feeling like his/her adoptive parents bought him/her. If you really need financial support, look for an agency that gives you that support without charging it directly to the adoptive parents, by taking it out of the fees that all adoptive parents pay. But, realize that some adoptive parents, perhaps the adoptive parents doing the hardest thinking about what's best for their future children are very leery of adopting a child where the first mom has received financial help and that is because they do not want to be helping steal some baby. Many women once they receive financial help feel guilty about changing their minds and keeping their baby or worry that they'll then have to pay the money back. So, there's this coercive element to worry about.

I'm a prospective adoptive parent, adopting through the foster care system and I've got friends who have or are adopting through private agencies. We've been doing a lot of research, particularly reading and talking to adult and teenage folks who were adopted because we want to do the best thing for our kids. So, my answers aren't really focused on what's for you, but what I've heard from folks who were adopted on what usually ends up being best for the kid. I realize many adoptive parents aren't thinking about what's best for the kid, but really, I think we all need to be thinking of the kid first.

Sorry, Babe....no matter how you are trying to word this question...or justify it, still comes across that you want $$$$$$ for your baby.

Honest to the Goddesses...I simply don't understand moms like you, I really don't. Not a pg mom for the first time, but a mom who has had children, in your case 3, knows what it is to birth and raise, yet you can still contemplate giving away this baby....for a price.

You put your business out here on YA..to the general public..then I have one question for you...If you can't afford the 3 children you already have, why did you allow yourself to get pg a 4th time? How will you safeguard yourself against a 5th unwanted pregnancy?

After my 5th pregnancy (1 lost to adoption, 1 abortion and the 3 I was raising) many moons ago, I determined for myself that I would not allow myself to become pg again. Also I was thinking financially, how best to insure a better quality of life for the 3 kids I already had. BC pills were not an option for me, nor was the IUD...I chose a tubal ligation for myself at the age of 25 yrs old....with no counseling, no internet, just what I had read in a magazine. I decided that was the best method of birth control for myself. I was a young married, living in a small apartment and our combined income at the time was nothing to write home about.

There are just way too many options today, please utilize some type of birth control in the future. Also think about furthering your education so that you can get a decent job to support yourself and your 3 children and get off welfare.

I do feel sorry for this 4th child of yours...not only to be given up for adoption (your choice), but that you also are trying to justify just how dollar worthy this poor babe may be on the Adoption Market. Very sad, all the way around.

adoption is very hard and painful and there is some places that can tell you if they family you pick is financially secure

when my daughter was adopted the agency that i went to the family paid my hospital bills lawyer fees court fees and other fees but i didn't feel kinda like i was selling my daughter but then i thought about it i didn't ask them to pay my bills and they didn't me for my daughter they had to pay a lawyer to help them and court fees were to make the adoption done that my daughter was there child now

i love my daughter Carlie they even kept her name name i gave her i get to see her when ever i want and i believe i made the right decision for her i was young i was still in school and i wasn't ready ready to be a mom but i wasn't going to kill my child by abortion adoption was the other good thing to do for my daughter

people do judge women who say they want to give there child up for adoption because they can raise a child everyone else can and they don't know anything about whats going on in other woman why they want to put there child up for adoption

i hope every thing works out for you and you are very strong and brave unselfish lady to do this or not you still are brave and strong to raise 4 kids good luck hope this helped you a little

The baby you're pregnant with has nothing to do with your other 3 kids and should not be used as a way to support them.

All you should be asking for, or entitled to receive from the adoption, are medical expenses. In my opinion, anything else isn't related to the baby because those are things you would be providing for yourself & children anyways (rent money, bills etc...).

You are trying to get financial gain from this child and it doesn't sound like the money is solely to ensure the child will be properly cared for. You're not a baby factory and shouldn't be compensated for your "merchandise". If you think otherwise, you're in the wrong business.. try surrogacy, they will pay.

You pretty much are selling your baby. Your putting your baby up for purchase because the adoptive parents have to pay for your medical fees and all the costs to adopt your baby (court costs, name change, home study, regular fees, etc.). Yeah the economy sucks but surely you find a job at Mc Donald's or some other fast food resturant. Try babysitting.

I know how u are feeling, i gave my baby up for adoption. I tried going to agencies but that just didn't feel right, none of them seemed to care about me, it seemed like they were more interested in getting my bay and getting rid of me than actually listening ot my questions and fears about it all. Luckily i found a couple who i have become great friends with and they adopted my baby. It is an open adoption so i get to hear and sometimes see him. But to answer your question, no i don think it would be "selling" your baby to accept financial assistance as in medical bills for the baby. An despite what that one person said, it is perfectly legal to let the adoptive parents pay for the medical bills for you and the baby u are carrying as long as u go through with the adoption. It is what people do with surrogates, and it is what a lot of the agencies offer. Besides that, if the adoptive couple were having this bay them self they would have to pay those bills anyways.