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Is it acceptable for a person in a relationship to spend time im-ing someone of the opposite sex?
Is it acceptable for a person in a relationship to spend time im-ing someone of the opposite sex?
Is it acceptable for a person in a relationship to spend time im-ing someone of the opposite sex?
Computers have changed the rules in modern day relationships. Just wondering........ My boyfriend and I have been living together for six months. Like everyone else these days, we both have a facebook page. this has created lots of re-connections with people from our school days and out pasts. in his case one of these friends is a girl that he has not seen since the 7th grade. we are in our 40's. They chat now. He only chats with her when i am not around. Is this something I should be upset about or not. Im not being jealous, just feel like he should be able to chat with me sitting there with him, but he wont. If she messages him when im there he doesnt answer. and if i ask questions like "is she married" or where does she live, he gets defensive. I have always felt that it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship. I too have guy friends. but I feel there needs to be openness between you regarding these friends. Ill only chat with mine with him there and share with him so that he can get to know about them too. suggestions anyone? What are the new rules?
9 Answers
- FLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
The truth is that in general, friendships with the opposite sex ARE dangerous. And with all the extra warning signs...it sounds like you have good reason to be worried.
I think the best way to present it is to say that you don't feel comfortable with it. If that doesn't work...then you've got a serious problem.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I'm a married man, I don't mind my wife talking to other men or does she mind me talking to other women, but we have certain unwritten rules and boundaries we both know and accept. Neither of us will ever date another man and woman, or take liberties, it's no so much like we do it because we have to, but we don't want to. We love each other, and there are certain things that we only do special for each other, I'm not a jealous person or a control freak, neither is my wife, but I wouldn't want to be in a long term relationship that I couldn't both be the center of attention, or make my mate my center of attention. If there isn't that spark, and burning to be with that person only, you'll never be happy.
- Mary ContraryLv 61 decade ago
Having friends of the opposite sex, whether in meatspace or cyberspace, is still fine. But the rules still stand that one should not be nosy about the other's friends, and the other should not get evasive. Perhaps the two of you have different boundaries and he actually considers your sharing intrusive. Talk it out.
- HisamazingwifeLv 51 decade ago
The funny thing is, there are no rules. His behavior is making you uncomfortable.. you've got intuition for a reason. Ask him why he only chats with her when you aren't around, and let him know that it's inappropriate to be speaking to her in a secretive manner.
If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing.
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- Were meant 2 beLv 51 decade ago
I would be leary and concerned about this..If there is nothing to hide from you than there is no reason why he can't talk to her in front of you and (me) personally when a man is confronted and he gives you the defensive act than there is definitely more to it than he is sharing with you..And "guilty of something"..
It is important for you to discuss the boundaries in the relationship and also one another's thoughts of having friends of the opposite sex...
For me this would be unacceptable "period"....
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I communicate with women at work all the time using various methods including IM. Doesn't mean that I want to have an intimate relationship with them.
- PoppyLv 71 decade ago
I'm not sure there are rules. Common sense should be the main one though. Whether it's online or not there are limits to what you should be saying to someone else. If he can't message her in your presence I would be concerned.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Make your own rules.