How can I stop being so demanding,insecure & jealous in my marriage?

You might need some counseling (ie professional help) jealousy leads to suspicion and insecurity and those are the very things that caused him to move out as there is only so much of that one can take.

Being married to someone in the military is very difficult and demands determination on the part of both spouses to really make it work and think about your boys,

He is a positive male role model and dad to them, so you really need to think about how your actions are making it difficult for your husband

to want to be with you and help raise your kids with the limited time he has before reporting back for duty.

Ask him, if you get help and totally be the woman he fell in love with, will he come home and recommit to the marriage.

Don't do this to yourself, you found a man you're in love with, is great with your kids. Don't blow it.

Love yourself,love your husband and kids more, it sounds like you might have issues with self esteem. Face them head on.

I know how you feel. I'm very insecure. It doesn't help my relationship either. Sometimes it just takes him to help a little. My fiance and I share everything together, if we go anywhere we go together, if he goes out without me he always tells me where hes going so I know when he'll be back. No, I'm not trying to be his mother lol. It just helps my insecurities when he does this for me, and he knows that too. In return I do the same for him. Nothings a secret, email passwords, text messages, phone calls nothing. You'd be surprised how much it helps when your open about everything. Now, in some cases he does need privacy, and I respect that. If hes not giving me a reason to doubt him, then I don't. Sure your going to get jealous sometimes, but try to tone it down a little. Don't watch him like a hawk if a pretty girl walks by, just to see if he looks, that's just asking for a fight. I'm sure you look at other guys too sometimes and don't even realize it, its a normal thing were only human. And just because he looks doesn't mean hes going to cheat on you. Just try to explain to him somethings that might help you feel better, like eyes on me when were out somewhere, or I'd feel better if you'd tell me where your going to be later. He needs to help you get through this too, and I think counseling will help also. I know its hard to get over the past, but your just punishing him for something other guys did to you. Just try to have a conversation with him about all of this, and that you want to work it out and try to help boost your self esteem up so you wont be so jealous and insecure. He should try to understand how you feel, not make you feel worse about your problems.

Being an army wife(which sucks) with one 18month deployment under the belt and him halfway through his second deployment with is gonna be about 13months I know how your mind can wander when your guy is away. You have to keep busy. I stay at home with our daughter cause daycare is outrageous, and you get cabin fever and start imagining all these crazy things in your head about your guy because you miss him and the attention and maybe you resent him getting out of the house. I read a lot and exercise anything to keep the mind from wandering lol. He says I'm like a different person on this deployment cause im so relaxed. Men won't talk about problems he is hoping you will change eventually probably. If you don't chill out he will leave you I promise you, your problem is one of the leading causes of divorce. Good luck

Is it really all on your shoulders though? Your marriage troubles right now, I mean... is it really just your fault? Don't be so quick to blame yourself.

I am a bit biased, being a former military wife.

You don't really say why he moved out or why he may or may not want to end things with you?

Its extremely tough being with someone who's in the military. You deserve to give yourself a bit more credit for sticking by him while he pursued his own dreams. Honestly, sometimes they just come home and things aren't the same. Distance doesn't always make the heart grow fonder.

You ask how to be less demanding, insecure and jealous though, so I'll try to answer that.

I would just say think before you speak, we all have to do that. I do especially! Pick & choose your battles. Don't let minor things upset you. Talk respectfully to *eachother*. I also make a conscious effort to thank my fiance everyday for things he does for me, or for being exceptionally sweet to me, doing something special for me, etc. Men can be big babies, but they like to feel appreciated just as much as we do.

I would recommend some counseling for you guys... you said you're trying to find some? Usually the military will help you with that. I know the Army is different, but they would provide troubled couples with "marriage retreats"... go on a mini break, attend seminars on how to be a better spouse, etc. Look into it or ask around.

Counseling really helps to get a better idea of how to solve problems or avoid them altogether. But maybe he needs to talk some things out too.

But as I said, he left you. I can understand the whole "feeling insecure" about your relationship...especially since obviously he proved you were right to feel that way!

Another thing that bothered me was that you said he is generous with HIS money. You're married. That's your money too. It doesn't matter who brings it home.

Hope things work out for you <3

I agree with Jilibean, I can't be the only one showing the goods here (even if it is for a good cause). You'll never get 'em to stop being jealous, simply give in and reward the rest of us with your happy TC pic!

The first thing you must know is if you want to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move is the beginning of the end. Learn here https://tr.im/tEP5c

If you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the emotional and physical work into saving the marriage, again, it's going to fail.

Marriage counseling is needed here. If he's a good man, those negative emotions need to be put to the side. And try focusing on the present and not the past--it ruins things.

You are living your worst nightmare and want to wake up I remember saying to myself please let this be a dream please when I wake up everything will be OK. The night my husband left me I fell to the floor and cried my heart out. He blamed it on me telling me that I was never satisfied and everything was always about me me me sound familiar. He would come see me once or twice a week and yes we had sex it took me about 6 months to get use to the idea that he wasn't coming back to me at least not yet. He payed all the bills I only worked part time our son was 15 at the time he left us. Because he said it was me I believed him I believed I was this selfish person who only thought about herself. He got his own apartment a couple of blocks away from m son and I so any time I felt like dropping by I would. I would tell him what I thought about him leaving us I was so angry. Well that wasn't getting me any where so I changed my tactics I knew if I was to ever get him back home I had to make him want to come home. Every time he would come to see his son I would make the best of it I stopped making him feel bad for leaving us and became much pleasant to be around. It took awhile but he started calling me everyday we even went on dates it was like we just started dating all over again. He finally moved back home but only after 2 1/2 years. He told me that he never cheated on me and I believed him why shouldn't I we never stopped having sex the whole time he was gone. 2 days after moving back I was still putting away some of his clothes that's when I found a envelope with no return address on it it was stuck in between his shorts. My heart dropped I just knew it was from a woman of course I opened it my heart just broke all over again. It said, how she wished they could walk down the street holding hands where everyone could see that they were together. It went on to say how she loved him and how he never loved me when he married me and the only reason we were still together was because of our son and out of convenience. It's now been 11 years sense all that happened we are doing good he came back to me a changed man a man I always knew he had in him.

I'm not saying your husband has been cheating on you I'm just saying don't be surprised if you learn things out about your husband.

Be strong I know that's easier said then done he will come back to you it just might not be as fast as you like. If he wasn't coming back to you I really don't think he would be seeing your boys think about it.

Hes taking care of your 3 boys & giving you extra money. Why are you so jealous & stuff i don't get it?Relax, clean the house, cook supper for him & get a few female friends when hes in iraq. Take care of the kids to. Just relax. That's all there is to it that's it.

You need professional help because even as a woman I will not tolerate, insecurity or jealousy for one second , there is nothing that is more a turn off than that.