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balance between making him pay, and not holding a grudge.?
We've been togheter for 8 months, he's slept with people before but I havnt. We havnt slept together yet.
3 weeks ago, he decided he needed time out, he was under a lot of pressure (his mums addopting and he needed to help her out, he had no place to stay for university, his friend was in hospital...) and he was going off the rails and wanted to sort himself out. We were on this time out for 2 weeks.
Everythings been perfect, he's been brilliant to me and we're good together. But he rang me 2 nights ago, at 5am, he was crying and said he needed to tell me something and that it was awful...
He "did stuff" with another girl, on the first night in halls (univeristy accomodation) . He said that he couldnt face losing me and that he regretted it and begged me not to leave him and told me that he would fight to make me stay and that he wanted to look after me and love me and make up for it ettttttttttc.
I was numb, i was hurt and shocked and had no idea how to react. I went over to his yesterday to talk, but I didnt have anything to say. I sat on his bed for an hour, weeping and mute. He said "Please say something" and i said "I dont know what to say." I told him I wasnt going to leave him, but i didnt know how to get past it.
He just held me. We went to sleep and then we were just how we always are... I dont know if i'm giving in too easily/quickly, If i held a grudge and made him keep appologising and promising never to do it again, surely it would end up ruining the relationship. But if i just move on now, am I making it too easy for him?
6 Answers
- Trying to HelpLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
He didn't have to tell you, did he? At least he seems to care about you and have a conscience. If you can't get past it, you can't; if you can, there's no point in beating a dead horse. Why create a problem just to create one? The best you could hope for would be for him to regret it and be honest about it, which he did. What more could you want?
- 1 decade ago
Of course you are but if you want a relationship where he will be doing such big messes and then you forgive him instantly that was okay. you should have made him realize that he had done a mistake. Don't make him beg but tell him you needed time to think. that way you could both have had time to reflect but since you already accepted his apology you can not go back now so let the bygones be bygones.
- 1 decade ago
there's no need 2 make sum1 pay for a mistake that they have made. although you do sumtyms feel that way, you jus hav to know that you can trust him. talk to him. and let him understand that if he does it again your relationship will suffer, or come 2 a close. and if he values your relationship then i'm sure he won't ever want to hurt you again. and sumtimes it's better for a relationship to hav a few difficultese. it can strengthen it in many ways.
good luck, and i hope i helped
- 1 decade ago
i had this same problem with my ex, but she did it while we were going out, so i dumped her. it was the biggest mistake of my life, as i still love her to pieces. its depends if you are going to be able to forget about it, and how much you feel for him. if he was crying and ringing you that late at night, then he obviously cares for you alot.
Hope this helps
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- 1 decade ago
it dosent matter if it easy for him. it has to be about you. if you feel ready to forgive him, then do it. he wasnt thinking about you, so why r you worried about him still? i'm not saying leave, but if you do decide to stay do it on your own terms. when your ready.
