How Do I Make This Happen and do you think it is fair?

You are wrong, sorry. My dog is allowed on the furniture at my home and absolutely NOT allowed at my mom's. She learned this in one visit. Similarly, my mom's dogs are allowed on my furniture and not on hers. Again, no issues. The change in environment makes it very apparent in both cases.

Your dog can as well if you are consistent.

Furthermore, the ONLY behavior allowed by any dog on MY furniture is to lay quietly.No walking on the humans, harassing them, etc. Any of THAT and they are back on the floor! So not only can you train a dog as to what surfaces he is allowed upon, you can train him what behavior is acceptable while he is on them! .

Think about it--if what you propose were true, you could never train a dog to do something different. You KNOW that's not true, so why get stuck on this furniture thing?

And P.S., treating a pit as a 'baby' is not going to be a good idea at all. She's about to hit mental and sexual maturity. You need to get on board with training TODAY or suffer the consequences.

ETA: OK, fair point there. No one has told you HOW to train this, and that is a very fair point.

Here's how I did it:

My dog has two commands--UP (inviting her up onto the furniture) and OFF (get off it this instant).

I trained UP by tapping the furniture two times and saying HUP! and then loads of praise if she jumped up. Did the same with my mom's dogs.

OFF was done similarly. I said OFF and knocked them off the couch. Praise for getting off the furniture. They figured it out pretty quickly.

If they got UP when not invited, I said NO if I saw them trying and OFF if I didn't see them til they were on it. If they tried to walk all over me or harrass me whilst on the couch, they got a strong DOWN or OFF.

To keep Jessie off my mom's furniture, if she was eyeing the couch or bed I said OFF! We did have to do this several times, but she understood and gave up trying. In one visit, she gave up trying to get on the furniture.

My mom's dogs really didn't have an issue--they looked at it as a new command that only happened at my house. Only one of them tried getting on the furniture at her house, and one scathing BAD DOG kept him from trying it again there.

ETA: I don't know if this is important or not, by I do have a dog bed at my mom's that is ONLY for Jessie. It's shut up in a closet when Jess isn't there. In this way she has her own protected space at my mom's. We also bring her crate, for other reasons. But we move that dog bed from room to room with us while we are there.

I would have a conversation with your mother about this. The same set of rules need to apply to all the dogs when they are together. Just explain to her that it's confusing for your dog that her two dogs are allowed up but she isn't, which is why she won't stay down.

If you don't have a problem with your dog not being allowed on the couch at her house (which I really wouldn't, it's her house) ask her if she could please refrain from having her dogs up on the couch while you're there for the above stated reasons.

To your mother your dog may seem like a giant in comparison to hers. I would definitely ask if there was something that prompted the change, whether it was hair left in the cushions, some news story she heard, etc.

The only way to resolve this is going to be a conversation with your mother.

As far as not letting her up if she doesn't go up without being called you need to be consistent and enforce that at all times - at home and your mom's. If she jumps up without being called tell her "OFF". Repeat as necessary. She will put two and two together that she isn't allowed up without the invite. It sounds barbaric but the other thing you can do is put her into a down stay and place your foot on her leash so she cannot jump up onto the couch.

I have a dog (70 lbs-ish) that I let on my couch at home too, so I know how difficult it is to keep off the furniture at other people's homes. My dog thinks she's so privileged sometimes.

Anyway, with all the Mom drama aside. You are the "master"/owner and should take charge. It doesn't matter what the other dogs are doing, it is their house/territory and dogs don't look at it the same as people do. (Yours is not looking at the others saying, "well, they can do it.")

I'm not criticizing you here, but dogs should behave when around other people and you have to help your dog respect others' wishes, despite that your Mom used to let it happen. Try keeping your dog on a leash and keep your foot on it so she doesn't have enough slack in it to jump up for a while.

On the other hand, you can tell your Mom to meet at alternate locations in the future. A local dog park or take all the dogs for a walk together. The reason you are visiting is to see your Mom, right? Not to let the dogs stare at each other. Leave your baby girl home.

I let my dog on my couch, but she is learning to stay off my boyfriend's couch. Just takes repetition and consistency.

BTW, no, I don't think it's fair for your Mom to let her dogs there if yours can't. It's one way or the other. Sounds to me like a power/control issue your Mom is having.

Your mom doesn't want a 44lb. dog on HER couch, staring at her and putting her head on her shoulder - frankly, I wouldn't either. Dogs can certainly understand that there are different rules in different homes, and they can (and should) be taught that they are only allowed on the furniture if invited up. Start training your dog to get on the couch when invited, and to get off and stay off at other times. When visiting your mother, keep the dog on a leash if necessary to enforce the 'no couch' rule and reward her for staying on the floor. If you're not willing to respect your mother's wishes, leave your dog with a dog-sitter when you visit.

Personally I don't ever think a dog is too big for the couch. When we gad a dane he was our tv buddy and my parents newfie is a lap dog.

Try talking to your mom. If that doesn't work sadly it is her house her rules. We have this issue at my grandmas. The only place our girl isn't allowed on the couch. We put a blanket by our feet when we go and we make her lay there in the begining we sat on the floor with her.

Otherwise you can tell your mom you're not coming over anymore and that she should come to you instead.

I have to agree with Jesse! My BPT is only allowed on the couch if invited up. It's really easy to teach them and I believe it's just good manners. She even knows that her dad will not allow her on the couch when he is home! She does'nt even try. I know probably not the best thing but I love to have my couch cuddle time as well as you do! Just goes to show that dogs are smart and she will learn that she can't go on your moms couch if you teach her she can only be there when invited. My dog will come up to the couch and look at me. She will only jump up if I pat the couch, if I tell her no she lays on the floor. Simple as that!

Well, I don't think it's fair that your mom has changed her mind about your dog on the couch & still lets hers on it, but it *is* her house so you should respect her feelings about it. (She'd die if she saw my Danes & Mastiff on my couch & loveseat!) Maybe you can bring a really cushy dog bed w/you for your girl; that's what I'd do, then sit on the floor w/her! Eventually your girl will catch on that your mom's couch is a no-no. Still no reason to change the rules at your own place, though; if your mom comes to your house w/her dogs, pull the same thing on her (yours on the couch, hers not allowed). That'll give her a new point of view :-)

It's your mother's house so if she decides that she doesn't wasn't your dog on the sofa, then you have to respect her wishes regardless of whether or not you think it's fair.

Your dog will initially be confused that a privilege once allowed has not been restricted, but you will need to either train your dog to stay on a dog bed on the floor or lay by your side.

well, if mom wont budge then fight fire with fire.

USE TREATS.

It will help in training your dog to stay off the couch and when she gets a treat, moms dog will go crazy jealous. and when mom says its okay for her poodles to have treats, simply tell her that the treats are for dogs whom have to lay on the hard floor!!

Ha Ha.

But realistically treats have worked for me. The rawhide chews last a bit but maybe not for a pit? You might try busy bone. But not the dental one ( has made every dog i know vomit)

Hell bells! its only once a month. Tell you dog to stay on a nice rug( pick your mother's best one) and be happy about it. Its not worth the hassle of falling out with your mum, is it.Let the poodles crawl all over her, you might just find they want to go on the rug with your dog! Your just making your dog anxious. We go to my mother's house about twice a day, she's at the end of the road and my dogs NEVER try to go on the furniture, but in my house there allowed everywhere. They know the rules, and so do I, my house I'm the boss, anywhere else, were guests.

It doesn't matter what you let your dog do at home. At your mother's house she gets to set the rules. If she says no dog on the couch, even if her dogs are up there, you have to respect that and do your part to keep your dog off the couch. Or leave her home when you visit your mom. You have to respect the rules your mom sets when you enter her home. When she comes to visit you, you can do the same thing and tell her that your dog is allowed up but not hers. Your house, your rules. Her house, her rules. Respect it.