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Chavs will dominate the UK by 2050?
Britain's chavs are reproducing at such an astronomical rate that to prevent a UK population crisis they must eventually be granted their own territory. The dire warning, from researchers based primarily in Essex and South Yorkshire, revealed their findings to a press conference today.
"The basic problem is that chavs are beginning to outnumber normal, tax paying people of all races", explained Professor Smith, who recently returned from extensive fieldwork in the towns of Chelmsford, Rotherham and Romford. "Eventually there will come a time when chavs bring about an ecological tipping point and begin to dominate society. I'm afraid we must prepare for the worst."
The central recommendation of the team was the establishment of a separate country for chavs, possibly somewhere around the UK, "but preferably nearer Moscow or the moon", the report suggests.
When pushed to explain what benefits the new area would offer its inhabitants, Professor Smith replied: "Freedom. Soon they will demand basic liberties such as official recognition of their language, customs, food and clothes wear. In their new land, they could be free from persecution and able to move towards self-determination and emancipation." When queried as to how such a project would be funded, he replied, "Oh I don't fu**ing care. Put them on a giant boat, I'll pay."
The findings provoked controversy across Britain, particularly within chav communities. Chantelle Johnson, from Swansea, launched a boycott of her local Spar newsagents which supplied newspapers reporting the story. Extreme cravings however meant that it was abandoned after 40 minutes, when her mum agreed to buy her a King Size Twix, blue fizzy pop and 20 Lambert and Butler.
What do you think?
23 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Very real problem. It is true that there will soon be more people on the doll than those working FACT. A land full of white lightning drinking, richmond smoking, track suit wearing morons...
- 1 decade ago
Society is going down hill because we haven't had the social responsibilities of yesteryear. When was the last time we had a world war? Most generations before us have lived or been brought up by people that have been affected by war.
Even mining and other industries - that are dying now - kept social groupings.
These days there's not much to keep a social stronghold. For the first time in centuries we have a identification crisis.
All youths know these days, is to impress the Internet world. I,e. happy slapping etc.
Bring back pits, and get folk working again.
- Anonymous5 years ago
I live in Haigh, Yorkshire. One street, woods behind the houses, fields in front and no chavs. The M1 is at the bottom of the road so you can get to Barnsley/Sheffield/Leeds within half an hour.
- _Lv 61 decade ago
No, wont happen, look at demographics. Funny, entertaining, would be better but the people who in the past would refer to English as infidels or heathen and failed to conquer Europe with the sword and fire are taking over Europe, including England and Londonistan by simple birthrates.
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- 1 decade ago
I had no idea the upper crust in the U.K. was so thick.
- 1 decade ago
I read that moslems were outbreeding everyone. Especially women from Pakistan. I think your data is wrong and a bit racist against whites - arent whites supposed to be the majority in Britain or is the truth that they are not starting to leak out?
Source(s): Are you saying only poor Whites are unemployed? Plenty of black and asian dollites too -many move here just to live on benefits and to claim for their numerous wives and kids. Your question is racist. You would be screaming if someone replaced chavs with moslems, blacks or asians. Racist? - oh hellooooLv 61 decade ago
Someone from Essex told me how expensive it was Steph, I'd go to Birmingham. Chavvy & cheap! Bit like me, har har har.
Not, I'm classy I am. Honest.
They do a lambrini rip off in the offy near me! Not even joking...
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I hope so.
do you KNOW how difficult it is to get a bottle of Lambrini, 40 Mayfair and a quick shag in this crappy town?
I'm moving to Essex.
Edit: How can you rip off Lambrini?? OK I'm moving to Birmingham. Innit.
Source(s): Innit - Anonymous1 decade ago
Bring back national service
- 1 decade ago
Remember - chavs don't live for long. They usually end up getting stabbed or beaten to death or die from drug overdose, binge drinking or some nasty disease.
