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Christian guys...I need you help!!!!?
Alright...so I know this is gonna sound junior highish and all prissy, but I really want to know. I'm 17 and have never even been asked out, let alone had a boyfriend. According to my friends, I have an awesome sense of humor, a cool personality, a good relationship with God, I'm responsible, and I'm pretty. Only one of those do I know to be true (the relationship w/ God part), so I'm pretty insecure about myself. The problem is, I'm so insecure that I don't know how to act around guys. If I like a guy, I clam up and can't talk to him cuz I'm afraid he'll think I like him, decide that that's not a good thing, and hide whenever I'm around (you may laugh, but it's happened before.). What should I do??? How do I act around guys that either Iike or think they like me? Also...how do I know if a guy likes me?
p.s.- I'm not at all interested in any perverted answers from idiots who are too immature to act their age on the internet. If you're not a born again Christian, you won't have the answer I'm looking for. I am a virgin and am not looking to even kiss a guy until my wedding day...how's that for old-fashioned? And it was my idea. So...just be mature.
And by the way...I made a typo. I mean that I need your help, not you help.
10 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
First, focus on your relationship with God. That is the most important part. I had a similar problem as a guy. I thought I would never meet a girl with any class at all and if I ever did, I wouldn't be able to keep her because I wouldn't know how to act. Well about 9 months ago, I found her and married her 3 months ago. She also was not kissed until I kissed her on our wedding day. So more power to you for setting that standard. I respect her more for that than if she were to have kissed a bunch of guys.
As for how to act, "just be yourself" is really overused and I never found any comfort in it. However, act like your true self. In other words don't pretend to be someone else in order to get a date. You are just wasting your time. Let your humor and personality shine at all times, not just when you like someone.
If I guy likes you, it should be pretty obvious. He may ask you out on a date, he may make eye contact with you and smile from across a room, he may try to make small talk with you, or he may just hang around you. My guess is that there have been a ton of guys that liked you, but never could summon the courage to ask you out. I didn't ask a girl out until I was 21 and I didn't get a girlfriend until I met my wife when I was 24 (God had a lot of lessons to teach me).
What should you do? I would suggest continuing to focus on your relationship with God. I think that when you are ready, God will put a man in your life that far surpasses any expectations that you had. Remember Abraham and how he trusted in God to give him Isaac, even in his old age? Just have patience and trust God.
- 1 decade ago
Hello! It's nice to see this question because I'm the exact same! I'm a freshmen in college and I have never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy before. I am very picky, and I know it. My first and most important rule is that the guy has to be Christian. For me, it's like... I'm not going to just end up with any guy for the sake of having boyfriends. I am a firm believer in that there is that one special someone for everybody. God gave us our desires which leads to what we find attractive. It's so weird how you can look at a guy, and one girl will find him very good looking, but the other may not. It's pretty cool actually.
I have the same situation. My friends tell me the same stuff. And I question it myself sometimes. It's quite difficult for me because it seems that so many guys are consumed by the world, and our society has set it's own standards on what is 'pretty'. Which can lead to the self doubt. What we both need to keep remembering is that God made us just they way he loves us. We are all His masterpieces. He gave you all the traits and qualities that that one special guy will love.
All I can say is that, there isn't really anything that you CAN do. I'm sure you could get a guy if you really wanted to. But what good will that do. Just have faith and wait until your special someone finds you. That's what I do, and continue to keep doing :) If you're meant to be with someone, God will bring him along according to His timing :) We're still young :)
<3 Hope it helped
These are some verses about being single:
Hosea 2:19
I Corinthians 7:8
7:17
7:27,28
7:32,33,35
7:37
Hebrews 13:4
Proverbs 3:5,6
Psalm 37:4
Romans 7:4
Galatians 6:4
II Peter 1:6-8
:)
Source(s): personal - 1 decade ago
well first off what up ash?!! long time no talk eh?
i'm a 17 year old male so be ready for the flip side.. God's blessed me as a 'social butterfly' lol. very outgoing and hard to not get along with for the most part. i have no problems talking to girls in all honesty but God, i know for a fact, won't have me to date. i'll either meet my wife at bible college or after. if i can keep my focus on Him, He'll lead me to the band we've talked about.. in that case we'll be doing some touring and all and i won't have time for a girl. so think about the future.. what plans does God have for you and how would a guy fit into that? maybe God's trying to show you what was previously stated by some others in that focus should entirely be on Him and, in suit, just make friends with the guys you're attracted to. God is the most beautiful thing we could ever know.. just look at everything He's created. He lives in all of us so how could we not then be beautiful as well?
anywho.. i think this might help but pray.. earnestly and ceaseingly, if that's even a word haha. seek God's face and He'll put a guy in your life when He's ready for you to be ready. God bless ash!! hope all's well!
- 5 years ago
A messianic Jew is a Jew that believes that Jesus is the Messiah. Christians and Messianic Jews believe that Jesus is the Messiah. They are Jews. The point of view of the anti Messianice Jews is best summed up by Mark JPAS when he said "it is acceptable to blend some degree of foreign spiritual elements with Judaism. The one exception is Christianity, which is perceived to be incompatible with any form of Jewishness. This is the double standard that is applied to Christianity even though Jesus is considered the Jewish Messiah in Christianity. Messianic Jews are looked at with even greater disdain. Why? its a cover for there own deviations from Judaism. Some Jews need to maintain a connection to Jewish family because they have deviated so much from traditional Judaism that many Orthodox question their Jewishness. They need find some way to distract attention because of there deviation from the Torah. This is done by pointing their finger at others to direct attention away from their own actions. You can't give yourself a title and expect that it makes you something. This is the argument that has been used against Jews that decide that Jesus is the Messiah. We are told that the mere belief of a different nature of God immediately invalidated a Jews Jewishness. At the same time Jews that become atheists, pantheists or stop practicing any element of their religion we are told are still Jews. They say that you can believe in anything but Jesus. Jews call conversion "joining the tribe". Things that would never fly in Orthodox or for that matter Messianic Judaism can be found in the Reform and Reconstructionist movements. A good example of this is a previous question asked here. The person asking worshiped the God Ferris but did not believe in him or the Jewish God. The focus of the question was" ...would you PERSONALLY feel comfortable welcoming me not just as a fellow congregant at your Synagogue, but as a member of the Tribe?" (so he was clearly asking about converting to Judaism). The response was "Reform Judaism covers a wide swath of beliefs and practices and I am sure you will be wholly accepted. ... I personally would accept you whole heartily as a fellow Jew." So some Jews will accept all kinds of deviations from the Torah but not belief in "Jesus". Let's not forget the Reform movement wanted to change the sabbath to Sunday to be more like Christianity. Most Messianic Jews are Torah observant yet you can become an atheist, stop practicing their faith, become a Buddhist, join a Unitarian Church and still be a Jew in the eyes of Reform/Reconstructionist Jews. Most Orthodox when asked about other Jews will say they don't know what non Orthodox Jews are. The same applies to the other sects. Speaking of sects Jews will tell you there are no sects but its not true. Rabbinical Jews follow an understanding of their faith that was established 1,900 years ago. They have their own canon of Scripture. There are also non Rabbinical Jews such as the Ethiopian Jews that follows the pattern of the Christian Old Testament and they have many additional books that they consider to be scripture. A group called the Karaites is the opposite of the Ethiopian and only believe in the 5 Books of Moses. Rabbinical Jews call Karaites "a sect of Judaism". You can goggle it and see for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that there are no sects in Judaism. They say the the teachings of Jesus are very different from Judaism. They also claim that Jesus taught nothing new from the rabbis before him. Then they we tell you that there were no rabbis until a hundred years after the time of Jesus. Its all about winning the argument to them not about what's true. The problem is not differences but similarities. You should know ALL the writers of the Christian Bible were Jews but one. Much of our Scriptures are shared. The vast majority of early believers in Jesus were Jews. So when you hear the exact opposite you need to keep that in mind. A Jew can believe in Jesus and still be a Jew. Edit: those that make personal accusations should include links or shut up.
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- Dancing Lady 101Lv 51 decade ago
First, calm down and stop being so defensive. Never feel the need to defend what you want to do with your own body. That's your business.
Second, people come on here looking for some magical formula that will allow them to remain shy/keep acting like they have been and still get a boyfriend. The truth is, you will have to start talking to guys you like. Talk about what he likes, talk about what you like, talk about anything. Laugh, be friendly and fun. Don't clam up -- you'll have to work on that. You'll have to take chances and try to get to know guys. Just imagine that you are only trying to make a good friend.
But in truth, if you don't want to even kiss a guy before marriage, maybe dating isn't for you. Perhaps you should just stick to making friends with guys. Be their friend first. Be prepared for the challenge. But good luck
- 1 decade ago
My brother is a cristina guy. very religious and he said that you just have to act like yourself. You don't have to know how to act around guys, just show them respect that they will give you respect and if you really up to this old fashioned relationship you need to find a guy that shares the same commons as you. My brother blames me for not being as christian as he is, but I love him and I understand him I know he just want my well being, but I am a free spirit and I have my own believes. i think your idea is beautiful and never let anyone change it as I will never let anyone change mine.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
what's eerie is you are almost exactly like this one girl from my neighborhood i hang out with afterschool...
unfortunately for this question, i am not a "born-again" christian, but a very pious catholic....
you aren't actually old-fashined... you just are more mature (or just have good values) due to the lifestyle you were brought up with....
now about guys: i would not worry about them at you're age, most men at this age are as immature as what you've described, and eventually the relationship will be at the point where they "need" to kiss you, and will threaten to break up with you if you do not deliver... at least this is what i've learned throughout my life...
you will eventually find someone, probably when you are older, that will share your interests, and at that age, men are more mature, emotionally...
Source(s): i hope i helped.... cheers :] - Anonymous1 decade ago
just be yourself. and guys will like you . the ones that dont arent the guys youd want to be with anyway.i think its great that you want to wait till your married. i always thought that was romantic. i was the same way.if guys like you they will go out of their way to talk to you every chancethey get.they look at you alot,and they always seem to end up in the same place you are.from expiriencethough, for me its always been id catch them looking at me. hope this helps.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
hmm.. i think you need to gain more confidence in your self! it seems to me that you are a great girl. belive in yourself! believe what your friends tell u! if u have more confidence in your self it will be easier to talk to guys.. and wat i do is i just think of them as they are like one of my girl friends..but of course we dont talk about the same things hhaaha. and i dont mean to be mean but there are some douches out there who are only interested in hookups and sex. obviously, these are not the guys for you. look for guys that are very sensible and respectful and dont commit to a relationship until you set the boundries.. i assure you there is a guy out there who is right for you!
good luck=]
- trek trekLv 51 decade ago
wow, you go girl, i am sixteen, and people call me a freak just cuz i want to stay a virgin till im mariied. it really ticks me off, i thought i was the only one. sorry i didnt give any advice, im kind of in the same stuation. but i wish you the best, and i'll pray for you.