Question for those married to people with disabilities?

My partner is always surprised when we encounter disability barriers and far more upset than I am. He wants to fix the situation immediately. I sort of go with the flow. He feels it is his responsibility as the able-bodied person to prevent these things from happening, but can't.

Maybe it's because I'm big and don't look disabled. Maybe it's because I'm ugly and always look mad. I don't know why but I never seem to have these problems.

Where I live there are no concessions for the disabled and my wife wouldn't know what to look for. That's a hassle but I knew I wasn't moving to a modern place when I came here.

I realize that for everyone of me they have to deal with many more demanding "normal" people.

Fight if it's right. Try to see it from their side too though.

These people obviously don't care if they lose your business and there is a better place to be found.

My husband had six different disabilities. One of them is brain damage so it caused him learning difficulties and partial complex seizures.

He also had bad feet due to his heels not healing right. He was born with webbed feet and they had to break them. Now his condition is getting worse and there are coming times where he can't move or get up. He would rather save the pain for work so he tries to stay off them as much as possible. Then when he comes home, he gets lazy because he wants to take a break from the pain and let them rest. I have thought about I should get him a wheel chair if I can find one at Goodwill so he can use it when we go out. I think I should put on the chair, I have bad feet so I'm lazy. That be sarcasm of course to the ignorance.

I don't think he gets any bad treatment. I have gotten mad at people online for bad talking dyslexics by saying they aren't smart and stuff and getting mad at someone for misspelling a word and making fun of them for it. One word, big deal. I have a husband who is dyslexic and he has hell of a hard time spelling. So he misspells a lot more words than that one person did. My husband doesn't go to the forums much. He says he doesn't care if people give him trouble but obviously he does care or else he still be going to them and posting a lot. I am guilty of misunderstanding him myself and it has taken me two years to understand it. I couldn't understand how can he work and then refuse to still do the things at home like picking up after himself and hanging up his towel. I wouldn't even buy "the bad feet" because if he could deal with the pain at work, then he could deal with it at home. These past two years I just thought he was looking for cop outs and I was very hard to buy them due to my logic. I would tell him I am not that gullible and does he think I am that naive. I'm not that stupid. Then I finally started asking questions than thinking I know everything (not literally everything but you know what I mean right?). He had to be logical for me to understand because going to work and then coming home saying his feet hurt too much for him to go to the kitchen to put his dirty plate in the sink didn't tell me anything. What I saw was, he can work with his bad feet, he didn't put his plate in the kitchen, instead he went to bed. If he can do both those things, then he can go to the kitchen. So "bad feet" didn't tell me anything. I don't think he knew how to tell me in my language until I started asking a bunch of questions.

I do have a history of kids and my ex lying to me and taking advantage because I was so gullible and naive and then I learned as I got older. Now I think people are trying to take advantage of me and think they are bullshitting me. If someone doesn't make any sense, I automatically assume they are lying or being full of it or making excuses. If people don't give me explanations I think they are lying or not being honest.

What an interesting question.

I've never really talked to my Fiance about that. Sometimes he gets a little annoyed when we do run into a barrier of some sort but I've ever heard him get upset or complain about anything.

Very interesting question thanks for posting it up. Lots of food for thought there.

( prepares for her 3-4 thumbs down)

sometime