Should I meet my Biological father?

sorry you're struggling with this.

i can't say whether to ask him to meet you or not.

If he were my father and i was thinking of meeting him, i'd take a few things into consideration.

i'd consider the fact that he was never a part of my life.

i'd ask mom if he ever made an effort to see me, and i'd ask her to be honest about it. if he never made an effort, then i'd take this into consideration.

i would prepare myself for rejection and would have no expectations that he would welcome me with open arms. there is a 50% chance of rejection, and if i couldn't take it, i would definitely not want to see him.

Please don't let this "eat you up"... you have done ok all this time before you ever knew he existed.

My son's father was absent all his life. I'd like to share something he said to me when he was about 17, and we were talking about fathers. He told me "i can't miss what i never had, mom -- but i'm thankful for all the good people who are part of my life today".

Just food for thought. sending hugs.

I can understand and sympathize with the conflict within you.However,the unspoken and unexpressed anger in your story is directed at the wrong person. Your mother should have given you this information sooner(though I am not sure how old you are) because she knew at some point you would need to know. I would ask you to consider the following points before you remain angry at your biological father: 1) He may not have known about you or may even have been prevented from any contact with you. 2) You do not know the reason behind the separation between him and your mother. 3) While I do not mean to malign your mother or the guy who eventually became your father,they may have been part or all of the reason why he was not in your life. 4) You have no way of knowing if he has been searching for you or not. 5) Whether you like it or not ,you have a step mother and other brothers and sisters (just as you currently do) who you should know and who have the right to know you as you are all related . It is possible that you may find out stuff for which you may legitimately be upset and angry at him for;right now you need to be fair and give him a chance to speak for himself and explain the events that took place before or shortly after your birth. Talk to your mother and get all the information she might have about him such as the state he might be living in,any name he might be using,his family name,address, reasons why he was not in your life (according to her), and anything else that might aid you in your search. Then for your own peace of mind and also for the sake of clarity and fair play,meet with him. I wish you all of you the best and that you will discover a happy extended family.

Find out more about your father ... maybe find out why he hasn't played a part in your life? You don't HAVE to meet him, if you feel that way .. then don't. You may just complicate your own life by doing so or enrich it ... it's a 50/50 chance & it could go either way. You've only just found out recently, so talking about it some more may help you come to terms with it & help you reach a decision on whether you'd like to meet him or not. Decision is entirely yours but don't rush it.

You have the same blood running through you. The time is now. Go from there. You may eventually have something wonderful. You may not, at least you will be able to sleep at night and stop wondering. He could be cool or he could be a fool. There are two stories to each side, it's just a shame you have to be the middle muddled person right now.

First of all go to the father's right groups online and read some of the messages about why your Father may not have been part of your young life. Your Dad may have not had many choices about you.

blood is blood

no matter how good your step dad is he isnt your father

your mother had an issue with your dad you dont

what you need to do is take a recording device and get him to talk about his father , your grandfather, and your great grandfather, about his life.

you ar erelated to thousands of people through him back into history, it is RIGHT to know

it is your RIGHT to know your blood father

you need to do it now as he could be ded tomorrow and you will ask for teh rest of your life what could he tell you and while your young one day you will have kids, the will want to know about their blood

have no expectaions, relax, have a good time with the guy

write or wrong he is your real dad, give him a chance

You don't have to meet him now just because you know who he is, so stop worrying about it. You may become more curious about him as you get older -- and by then you may also be more comfortable with the idea of meeting him. You're fortunate to have a good stepfather who has been a real father to you, so perhaps you don't have that sense of something missing in your life that some teens have when there is no father figure in their lives.

Go for it. Go to see him