What is the point of marriage?

still trying to figure it out (2nd mar) --- you have money they complain about not enough quality time ---- you have time , they complain about money , i give up, next time i buy a puppy and we grow old together

I often wonder about that myself. In today's modern society it seems there are fewer and fewer benefits and more obligations on both sides of the gender divide.

I view it as a mutual support system. But in days of yore, because organized society treated women as property, it was some sort of goal for women to be married for the security aspects.

In today's world women have careers, are making money and able to afford single parenthood. There are equal rights in most Western countries so the incentive for a woman to get married is nill.

Likewise men have more of an incentive to pursue marriage for the other aspects of their lives, but it seems pretty clear to me that the roll of people in marriages has changed considerably over say the last 100 years.

However, all that said the advantages are (1) legirtimating children (2) some tax benefits but a lot of marriage penalties (3) it takes 5 minutes to get married and an eternity to get a divorce (4) its no guaranty that your spouse (man or woman) will get perpetual sexual services (5) no guaranty that you're going to be happy.

A word of advice, however. If you choose to get married again, I would suggest that you and the prospective Mrs. discuss what you envision to be your marriage, the goals, the ways you intend to support each other and how you intend to maintain your relationship so it stays happy.

Other than that, though I wonder about marriage as a societal institution, I think it serves its purpose in at least half the marriages out there. So it can't be all that bad.

"Granted I'm a jaded divorcee "....

You didn't even have to put any words after that...it is quite evident that this is the reason for these feelings that you have, and also, you clearly were not at all ready to be married at that point in your life, yet you went through with it anyway.

I, personally, never really saw the point in it myself, but really, there ARE couples out there that have a very strong bond, a strong connection with one another, and actually WANT to get married to one another. In your situation you were doing something that you weren't ready to do, and (big surprise) the relationship failed. All those misgivings that you have should have been given much more thought, and you should definitely have given yourself more pause before you recited those vows.

Sure, lots of people make that mistake. Lots of us do it before we are truly ready, or knowing that they aren't really with someone whom they have a strong bond with, who they are truly compatible enough with to happily live out the rest of their lives together, but some people really do love one another enough to KNOW that there is no reason why they would decide to leave them, of course no one can truly and accurately predict the future, but a lot of couples out there are certain, and have no doubts about the person that they are marrying, and they do so because they want to do so, and because it will make them both happy. There are plenty advantageous aspects to marriage, and obviously a person who doesn't agree with it isn't going to see that. A person that doesn't want to give up the single life will only see marriage as a prison sentence. But two people that have truly found each other to be the best match for them, who genuinely enjoy the time spent with one another, who don't know what they would do without one another, and who don't want to live the single lifestyle anymore, well, marriage is just right for them, and it is a good thing, not a burden; more freeing than it is imprisoning.

I think that this topic is entirely subjective and that both sides of it can be argued well, but you will NEVER have a person who is happy in their relationship and who doesn't want to ever leave their partner, arguing that marriage is a sham and a bad idea entirely, and you will never have a person who is more invested in the bachelor/ bachelorette lifestyle arguing a case FOR marriage. So I can see where you, as a person who made a mistake walking down the aisle in the first place in spite of the knowledge that it wasn't what you truly wanted out of life, are coming from, but for some people, it is a huge step in the right direction.

Actually, there is less in it for the woman who are at more risk because of the child birth and raising thing. You are obviously not ready or may never be ready, it just might not be right for you. On the other hand you seem to want it. So I would suggest you continue to stay far away from it (but please be honest with your partners) until you believe otherwise. Eventually most men want a consistent, exclusive, loving, supportive relationship and I bet you will too - but not until and if you are ready.

PS - it is also a business relationship, when you marry you create a partnership as much economic as anything. So use your brain as well as your heart when you choose.

It's so when you are dying in the hospital you have someone there that cares for you and will make the doctors do their job and save your life. Then on the off chance they can't save you at least your wife (which is most likely your only next of kin that can be reached in a timely manner) can get the ball rolling on what you wanted to be done after you died (anything to be donated, burial or cremation, funeral (which funeral home).

My uncle didn't marry his love, they were just permanately engaged. When he died last year at the age of 49 she was not his next of kin since she wasn't married to him and she couldn't legally make any decisions on his behalf. So then they found his mother and by the time she got there and started making decisions my dead uncle had been lying lifeless for 6-7 hours on the hospital table (the hospital wouldn't send him anywhere without the next of kins consent). Then they find out that the mother really isn't the next of kin because my uncle had a child from a previous relationship so all that the mother had done was for nothing because then they had to wait until they could reach his 18 year old son (that wanted nothing to do with his dad) and he could start making the decisions.

So basically just f****ing marry the girl so you can die in peace!!!

Here is the thing... I don't know if it is possible for you to be convinced. I think you are looking at marriage all wrong. Lets say you buy a dog. Do you go to the pound and say "I am looking for a dog that will benefit me and cost nothing to feed, care for and take no time or effort". I think not. You walk in and find the one that makes your heart drop. The one that stares up at you like you are the most important person in the world. The one that licks your face whenever it gets the chance.

For those of you who will jump to conclusionss, I know my wife is not like a dog!!!

What I am trying to convey is stop thinking of all the things you will lose or gain. I met my wife at a party about 14 years ago. I was a active member of the woman hater club and viewed all females as a conquest. I had no desire to be in a relationship AT ALL!! We spent the next few days together and I started to miss her when we were appart. I found soon that she made my heart drop. She looked at me and made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. She makes me feel like life is worth living and all the day to day crap is nothing cause she is going to be there, and that is all I need. At the end of the day man you just have to fall in LOVE. Not Lust or like or anything else. Stop living in the past. Just look forward and one day the one person that makes you complete will find you.

So, as to the question "What is the point of marriage"... Marriage is the ultimate display of utter devotion to the person that you love. Find TRUE love and you will understand marriage.

Good Luck man

There is no point to marriage and nothing to gain from a mans perspective. Sex gets boring. If you get old and for example you are in an Asian country your sex life is likely to improve and you won't need viagra etc. You are more likely to lose everything if one of you decides to divorce and then your life can be destroyed. You can't even keep a bond going with your kids in the same sense as a parent although many parents like to believe they can.

I may not be yahoo but I sure can give a yoohoo! Lol.

Marriage will benefit your health in staying with one woman.

No stds. Marriage keeps your body regulated sexually. Marriage is a contract to work things out like an adult and not run everytime something goes wrong. Marriage teaches you patience and sacrifice.

It is also a assures you that no matter what happens into your old age, granted you both live long...that you have a helper. Marriage is a protection in your time of need.

Do you really think Suzy the one night stand would give a damn if you got in an accident and found yourself paralyzed?

Think about stud. Does being free to run like a kid whenever things go wrong give you that kind of guarantee?

For a man, there is no benefit in getting married, only detriment .... especially if you end up getting divorced. Marriage is simply a legal contract (ask any divorce lawyer) that entitles her to take at least half of your assets and for you to pay her alimony (spousal support) in the event that your relationship is not successful. This is especially true in the "community property" states of California, Washington, Wisconsin, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and Louisiana. It's a no-win situation for a man. Moreover, with the new domestic partnership laws (which apply to heterosexuals), if you live together, you can be screwed by a legal process known as "dissolution of domestic partnership!" BOTTOM LINE: It's all about the money! ... your money! If you are smart, the only thing for a man to do (in a romantic relationship) is live together and have a signed "co-habitation agreement, prior to living together!" If she is truly in love with you, then she should not be worrying about your money! ... And you should not be worrying about hers! What you earn is your money, what she earns is her money, and what you earn together should be shared equally.

My husband had been a bachelor for 13 years when we got married. We had both been married before. He talked about us getting married for a long time before we actually took that step. I think he wanted the commitment of marriage. He told me many times he believed in marriage, and wanted to go to bed with me at night, and wake up with me in the mornings. To know we both took a vow of foresaking all others, and for better and for worse - that we were both on the same page as far as staying together for the long haul. We have worked together for common goals. He helped me raise my two boys, who are both grown and living on their own. I really don't think either of us would have put forth the effort to fill each other's needs without being married. It would have been too easy to pack up and move on when the going got rough. Coming out on the other end of a storm in a marriage is a sweet gift.

None that I can think of. As an American, we put the focus on the act of getting married...not an actual marriage. It's more important what the bride wears on her wedding day than the aniverseries in the years to come.