Hope to help my niece's children to adjust to their mother's death?

For one you really can't do anything that would keep their mind off of there mom. I don't know if the 19 year old does anything "bad" if you know what I mean but I would keep an eye out for him/her because the 11 year old is gonna start reaching out for help and who's the closest person to her? That's right the 19 year old, I am not trying to be mean when I say this but it's hard to get through something like that. If you can try to talk with them over the phone as much as you can see what they are doing, and I don't know if you can do this or not but try to see them more often than just special occasion's. I am truly sorry for your lose I hope you are ok as well, it's not easy getting over something like that I hope I helped and I hope I didn't come off rude when I say this I am just trying to help or do what I would do.

Um, 40 miles is not that far at all.... I drive 35 to work each way 6 days/week. You should actually go and visit and spend some time with them. Talk, and take them to a cafe or out for shakes. Take it from someone who lost their mother at 16, they really need to get their mind off of it for a while.

maybe you could go and see them a bit more often? 40 mies is not that far away. but yes, send books and cards etc, there are some great books on grieving out there, maybe u could read a couple and that would give u a few ideas