Adoptees whose AParents also have biological children?

Just know that your adopted kids WILL see the difference between themselves and a bio child of yours. Im not saying that it is because you will love a bio child more than them, but there IS a difference.

My ap's loved all three of us the same(my abro, myself, and our sister, who was our ap's natural child) but the differences were obvious. How could they NOT be obvious, lol? She was our parents biological child- she has their DNA- we did not.

Our sister had a connection, a bond with our parents, that was impossible for us to have, because we were not genetically related to them. Our sister looked like our parents, walked and talked like our parents, had the same natural abilities our parents had, etc etc. My brother and I did not have that with our parents, BECAUSE we were adopted, and that made us somewhat resent our sister. That is very common in adoptive families who also have a bio child in the mix.

Even if the ap's "do everything right", the fact that will never change is that their sibling, who is their adoptive parents bio child, is genetically like their parents, and they are not. It is something we see every single day of our lives, and serves as a constant reminder that we were adopted. Many adoptees also have resentment towards their adoptive sibling who is a bio kid, because they do not have the pain associated with relinquishment, or the self esteem issues that come along with it.

Ap's in this situation should really work on praising their child's first family when they see that the child has a natural ability that the ap's do not have. Like, "Wow, Tommy, you draw so well....Maybe your first Dad was a good artist, too...."

I feel that it is best when the ap's do NOT have bio children of their own, but that does not always happen. When it does, the ap's need to be especially sensitive to the feelings of the adoptive child, because it makes their differences even more obvious.

The fact that you are concerned about all of your children shows that you are on the right track. It will be your attitudes about your family will shape their lives.

I was adopted at 2 months of age and my aparents who had been childless for 10 years then conceived a daughter 9 months and 1 day later. I found out on my tenth birthday that I was adopted and wow was I happy. It meant that I wasn't related to these people and explained why I was always being treated as not as good as my sister. "Don't you talk to MY child like that!" Everything was a reminder that I was the outsider. This has effected me for a lifetime.

I, 2 brothers and 4 sisters, were adopted out over the years. Two sisters and 2 brothers were kept. Of the adopted of us the 2 brothers were in blended families and they had wonderful aparents that treated them as theirs. Two sisters were adopted into a family where there were no other children and 1 sister into a family where all were adopted all from different families and they also had wonderful aparents. So despite my situation I learned that the parents positive attitudes and unconditional love will overcome any and all differences.

Oh, except that they ARE your children and you ARE their mom. All of us adopted kids have moms, the ones that brought us up. Our birth mother is Shirley and that's what we call her. There is a huge difference and despite it all I told Shirley that I was glad that she gave me a chance at life, and she did by her actions allow another family to form. She did what was right for both of us at a trying period in her life.

I think that you will do just fine.

I have two older brothers who are my aparents' natural children. There were times I felt excluded from my family, but it wasn't necessarily through anything that they -did-. It was just about who they -were-. I am very very different from my family. Therefore, there were a lot of things that they all had in common that I didn't.

Additionally, I was the only girl, so my brothers have a different relationship with each other than they do with me. Intellectually I know this has nothing to do with the fact that I am adopted, but there are times where the exclusive nature of their relationship can really push my buttons.

The same with the times when they all come together to plan a family event and all agree to have it be something that they all love to do but that I hate to do,. I don't see it as resulting from them excluding me because I am adopted. I just see it as the fact that I am very much different and there are times that is in the background and there are times that really comes to the forefront. And of course it stings a bit and it can hurt a lot at times, but again. I know they are not doing it in a purposeful attempt to make me feel excluded. It is just another extension of the realities of adoption.

I don't know that I've had any issues as a result of my adoption my inclusion in the family is so seamless that there are occasions when I and my siblings forget I was adopted at all. If you plan for problems you will stress and create problems. Let things flow naturally if your daughter have questions later on deal with them as they come don't anticipate them in advance.

My friend is the middle child of a family of three. Her older sister is from Africa, she's from India, the youngest was born as a "surprise". They travel a lot so I don't see them much, but their parents just treat them the same when we see them. (Actually as a child I hadn't figured out my friend was also adopted- I've never been a good physionomist(?))