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Bridal shower questions? (warning: long explanation)?
My maid of honor and my mother are planning my bridal shower. I know the tradition says my mom shouldn't be involved and everything, but my maid of honor is in her last semester of college and very busy. On top of that, she doesn't make very much money. She has been a maid of honor several times before and every time, the mother of the bride planned the shower and not her. So she is looking forward to being able to plan this one.
My mother is only helping in terms of food and location. She works at the church preschool and was able to reserve the hall for the shower. She is also talking to some of the ladies from church about the meal and set up. Other than making sure my maid of honor has everyone on the guest list, she really isn't doing anything else.
I am honestly worried about the financial issue. My maid of honor can't really afford to do more than the invitations. My mom is already paying for a big portion of the wedding and my dad just had surgery and I know there is financial strain there.
I have tried calling my mom and my maid of honor and trying to convince them to let me help, at least financially. But they both keep telling me I know too much already and I'm the bride and can't plan my own shower. I am not wanting to plan my own shower, but I don't want them to spend money they don't have. They are both already putting a lot into the wedding for me in terms of the wedding reception and buying clothes, and my maid of honor is planning a combined bachelor/bachelorette party. It just seems unfair.
Cancelling is out of the question. My maid of honor really wants to do this. As I said, she has never gotten to opportunity.
My question is should I just let them keep planning and paying for things without my help? Or should I at least let my maid of honor know that if she needs any money for help for the shower or the party that she can ask? (I know my mom won't listen or accept money from me) I just don't want either of them spending more than they had already said they would spend. What should I do!?
Only nice answers please! I am concerned for my friends and family here!
6 Answers
- MargotLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
LET THEM.
As someone who just threw a baby shower for 50 people, yes FIFTY people (ugh! long sordid story) I can assure you that the biggest expense is the food. Your mom has that covered. The next biggest expense would be the rental of the location...which your mom already got.
For the favors for the baby shower extravaganza that I threw, we probably spent a whopping $15. Decorations cost maybe another $10. The invitations were probably $20, including postage. So other than food, it was $45. Your friend can spend $45 on a weekend or getting her hair cut.
She's your maid of honor. That means she loves you. So does your mom. Forty five dollars is within their budget.
I understand your concern. Trust them that they will throw you something nice that is within their budgets. They want to do this for you because they love you. Let them.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
if you have offered to help (with the money only, not the planning, etc), and they both have turned you down, there are really only 2 options: #1 tell them to cancel it, or have a "scaled down" version - in someone's house, no catering, etc; less formal, invites that you buy at a store pre-made, as opposed to engraved invites, etc; or #2 get over it and trust that two people who should be honest with you (your mom & best friend) would let you know if the financial strain was too much.
congrats, and good luck!
- Jenny LynneLv 71 decade ago
I would definetly offer your MOH, you could put a check in a nice card and give it to her and put in the FOR-Thanks. This way it is up to her to use the check or tear it up. Just say as you give the card to her or have someone else give it to her or stick it in her pocketbook. Or say something for you and walk off before she opens, say gotta run or something. Write your feelings in the card, how much you love her and how much she means to you, being your MOH and all she is doing to make your marriage perfect.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
How much does a bridal shower really cost? They can do something no-frills and it would be very affordable. You can't handle their financial affairs. They know their budget and it's their job to work within it.
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- BLv 61 decade ago
I say don't worry about it. Trust that they are responsible adults who won't spend more than they can afford. And if they do, that's their choice. They want to do this for you, so sit back and enjoy it.
