Should I invite him to my wedding?

I would try and talk to your parents. Explain to them that it is important to you for the friend to be there, and for them to be there. You are not saying your friend is more important to you then them, but that he is a big part of your life. If your parents don't agree and still pull the bs then ask them whether they would like to be at the ceremony or the reception and invite the friend to the other part. That way they both are included. If you tell your friend why they are only invited to the ceremony or reception because your parents, chances are he'll understand since he's your "brother" and helped you when they were being unreasonable in the past. Good luck

It's not either/or. You invite both of them, and here's why. You say you're just now starting to have a good relationship with your parents, but they're still trying to manipulate and control you. When you were a kid, this worked because you had no choice, but you're an adult now about to get married. It's nice that your mom is making your dress, but she's also emotionally blackmailing you by threatening not to attend. No dress is worth this.

So invite both and talk to your mom about it. Explain that you love them and want them there, and you appreciate everything she's done. But "X" is also very important to you, and you're not going to exclude him from the most important day of your life. You can also tell her it's immature to threaten to boycott your wedding simply because they don't like a guest. Then just tell her you hope she and your dad can put aside their animosity for a couple of yours to see you get married. There's also the separate issue here that it isn't just your wedding, it's your fiance's as well. And he wants "X" there, too.

If they still don't come, you've at least taught them an important lesson: that you're not a child anymore and, more importantly, you're starting your own little family that will always come first.

You have to invite both. Your friend deserves to be there since he's more family than your family. Your parents will go because you've already included them to the point where your mom is making the dress. This is the key, what happens at the wedding is not your responsibility. If your parents chose to leave, that is their problem. You might want to even have a security guy there to usher them out if they don't want to go quietly. It hurts like hell when your biological family does nothing but let you down, but at some point you need to live your life for you. You need to think about if your life is better with your parents involved or not.

If I were you, I would invite my friend over and talk to him, heart-to-heart. Sounds like you have a close and trusting relationship with him, and you can open up and share the problems you've been having with your family. I think, at this particular stage in your life, it is important to continue mending the gap between yourself and your parents - at least, this is what it sounds like you wish to do. Unfortunately, what this means is "sacrificing" the friend in this particular situation - and, to a large extent, your own feelings as well, because it will be sad for you to not have your friend there. It's not right and it's not fair that your parents are creating drama. But it is what it is, you can't change who they are. The only thing you can do to, on the one hand, please your parents, and, on the other hand, hopefully not to alienate the friend is to talk to the friend very openly and explain the situation. If I was your friend and you explained it to me, I would be the first one to wish you luck on your wedding and suggest for me to stay away on the wedding day and celebrate some other time. At least, that's my view.

It is so beyond WRONG when anyone, especially family, uses the wedding of one of their members

to air greivances, make 'statements' and continue feuds.

I asume your inlaws are not behaving in such a reprehensible way.

Talk to your friend...explain the problem and ask him if he minds just coming to the reception...if your parents choose to walk out on the meal, so be it, at least they were there for the ceremony.

perhaps your friend can slip into the wedding venue just after your parents are seated and if he sits in the back he may not be noticed.

Can your fiance & his family help out?.....If they close their ranks around him and he's part of their group, he may not be noticed at all until it is too late to do anything about it.

Honestly, I would go ahead and invite him...if your parents are foolish enough to make good on their threat, they will look like fools....let them.

Well, you invite everyone and they need to be the mature responsble people they can be and not start a brawl. But, if you are that concerned, then don't invite your parents, don't tell them why and just send them an announcement after the fact. I had relationships with my family like that all my life and it has never truly improved at all. If you think it's bad now, wait until some of them start to pass away. Then, it turns nightmarish in that you could end up the only person alive and having to take responsibility for the mess they have made. I'm so sorry it has to be this way. But, I knew my parents wouldn't come so I sent them invitations anyway. If I truly believed they would have attended - I wouldn't have invited them - just sent announcements. I moved out when I was 17 but they made it UNLIVABLE so I get this - it makes total sense to me. Well, I had people in my life who were more like parents and siblings than my real family and they were ALL there for me as they always have been and always will be. That's the important thing here. Just be glad you got away from it so you could maintain some form of sanity for yourself. I just started to make peace with my parents and they passed unexpectedly within 5 months of each other last July and in November. I had 2 brothers and now I have one who hates me with a passion and refuses again to speak with me since their death. But, you know it's mental illness - that has alot to do with it and sometimes - it's best to be apart because they won't allow you to do anything or to really help them get help because they are in denial and they can't accept truth - which is necessary for true and complete healing of the relationship. You have done all you could do and just accept that. This is the result of their poor choices, not yours even though it does of course hurt. Yeah - like my dad - didn't know how to hold an appropriate conversation that sounds right outside of a strip club. Although they wouldn't come to blows - they were just way beyond odd in everyway and not trusting of anyone even to talk to them. But, gee your mom is making your dress so you can't NOT invite her and then your dad too. Goodness girl! I'm so sorry. You will have to invite them all and make sure to fill in some of your sane relatives in on your concerns so that they will be able to help them keep out of trouble. You know, other sane relatives who know what they are like - are totally an asset to me and my sanity about my family and they still are! You MUST invite the people who have taught you how to love and care and live in the real world. You relationships with your family are never going to be what you want, expect or hope for and it sounds like you've come to terms with that so it's awesome that you know that. Just remember, whatever happens and whatever they do - it's not your fault. I could say like one wrong word and it will make my family not talk to me for years. It's awful - but don't ever blame yourself. Enjoy your day and realize that you are starting a new family unit that will be nothing like what you came from. I'm really happy for you though - congratulations! You just have to do your best, invite everybody, get other relatives to steer them in the right direction and occupy their time and then let the chips fall where they may because you will get to the honeymoon which is the best part - and you can let whatever happened before that just fly away like dust under your feet. That's what it was like for me and I hope it will feel very freeing for you as well. I had a really great friend too who made the difference and was the only person who supported me for many years. She was more of a sister to me than anybody else!

You could try explaining your reasoning to them. But I would invite your friend. You said yourself he's more your family than your blood family. I'd be offended if my very close friend didnt invite me to her wedding. I really hope your parents can deal with him for your wedding day.

Id invite who you want to invite... its your wedding and if your parents walk out well to bad they can watch the video. i know its harsh but they havent been there for you why should you care what they want... Have the person who stood by you there!

u have to understand for such important occasions parents must be there,but as for u r friend he means something to u only as individual.so u can meet him after wedding.