Why does my sister rely on others so much to survive?

Question

My sister is a single mom.  The father is unknown.  My parents have been watching her son for several years.  At times I think she takes advantage of them.  It seems like she has her schedule made so they have him the most and she doesn't.  She uses excuses so they keep him overnight.  Like it's too late to come and get him after work.  He has school.  She then goes out and gets drunk after work.  I would say they have him 4 to 5 days and nights a week.  She only sees him long enough to take him to school in the morning.  Well my mom found out she has a life threatening illness and she is in her upper 60's.  I tried to tell my sister that my dad would now have to help care for mom and they cannot be raising her 8 year old son too.  They are too old and have already raised three kids.  I think she is upset and I know she has made her life so she can't live without free babysitters.  She lived as though my parents were going to do it forever.  She needs to grow up and face reality.  That mommy and daddy aren't always going to be here to take care of everything.  I might sound mean, but she really needs to be more independent.  They spoiled her and now she is used to that and cannot make it on her own.

Lisa L · Accepted Answer

I've been in the same kind of situation.  I know your parents are well meaning, but they HAVE spoiled their daughter.  IF she's mature enough to go out and have babies, then she should be mature enough to take care of them.  And to go out and get drunk, she must have some money.  From what I've seen, these days "kids" sometimes NEVER grow up.  They pretend like they are grown, and wanted to be treated like they are grown, BUT THEY DON'T ACT LIKE THEY ARE GROWN.  When I grew up in the 60's, kids were pretty responsible.  Once I left home at the age of 18, I NEVER went back home to live, NOR did I ever ask anyone (other than a bank, loan) for money.  These days kids move out, they move back in, they move back out, and they move back in.  It's like a revolving door.  They go out, blow all their money, then when they can't pay their rent, the parents come to their "rescue".  The truth of the matter is the parents ARE NOT helping their children.  They ARE TEACHING them to be dependent on them.  I bet if your parents were to give her the child and make her take care of it, she would figure out a way.  But I know your parents probably worry about the child, obviously more than it's mother does.  It's a tough situation, and I don't think you're being mean at all.  Your sister IS spoiled and she needs to grow up and quit depending on others to care for HER responsibilities.  Otherwise, she'll NEVER grow up.  Good luck to you and your parents!!!

I like Dr. Phil's statement:  "The worse form of child abuse is OVER INDULGENCE!!"  And it's SO true.  Spoiled kids are NOT in touch with reality!!!

J-E-L-L-O, it&#39;s alive! · Answer

This is more of a statement than a question. But I agree with you. =)

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Why does my sister rely on others so much to survive?

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