AP's, do you do anything "special" for your child's birthday?

I think its great that you acknowledge their adoption and speak well of their mom. If my APs had allowed the same I think I would have been able to deal with it better. I don't see anything wrong with celebrating the day you became a family however I would call it something other than "adoption" or "gotcha" day as those words do tend to stir negative feelings with most adoptees especially when they get older. As for what to do when they are older, get your cues from them...they will let you know what they want or need at that time of their life. Some states do allow APs to get a child's non-id info when the child is under 18 (i'm not sure where u live), it might be something to look into as the hospital information is usually included in that (e.g. birth weight, time of birth, etc). I do have to agree with Miss Clover that we don't want to feel "special" but adoptees DO want to "belong" and I think having a family day would be a nice way to say "you belong here".

I am 21 years old and every single year I go home to my family and we go out to dinner at usually the same restaurant. Just to celebrate being a family. When I was little they would buy me a small gift or something and we would all just spend time together. Its not really a celebration, but more like family time.. something we don't get as much anymore.

I have one son whom I adopted from foster care when he was 2-1/2 years old. He's 9 now. His birthday is a big deal every year -- I'm like that about birthdays anyway. One year we went whale watching...another year I took him to Kona to swim with dolphins (we live on Kauai)...one year I had a surprise party for him. For his 9th birthday 2 months ago we were on Oahu and I took him to Chuck E. Cheese because we don't have one on our island and he hasn't been there since he was 4. He has loved all of the celebrations we've had and most years he has some input as to what he wants to do for his birthday. (A party at Pizza Hut and video games afterward was his idea when he was 7.)

We don't do "gotcha day." In fact, I hate that term. I have a friend who celebrates it with her six year old and I always wonder how HE feels about it. I remember the day I first met my son and some years I have even said, "It's the __th anniversary of the day I met you," but that's about it. "Gotcha day" is more about the adoptive parents than the child, so I skip it.

We give my adopted daughter the same cake and ice cream and lots of presents birthday parites we give the other kids.

I wouldn't worry too much about hospital stories just now. Celebrate and have fun.

Well, we do birthday parties, the same as we did for our biological son. The children get to pick what they want to do for their party, within reason. (Sleepover, yes. Trip to San Diego for all their friends, not so much).

We did do something to mark the day that we became a family, but it wasn't a party. We went out to dinner as a family to someplace fun for the first couple years. But their interest in doing something like that is waning, so we haven't pushed it.

Nope, we don't celebrate that day. We celebrate everday. Every now and then we go "wow, it's been so and so years".

As a family we don't celebrate when we became a family because that is a time of loss for the children. I don't need a day for all of us because I have them every day!

:)

No we never did do anything different and all our kids birthdays were always celebrated pretty much the same.

Well just spending the day with you guys makes it special. For me that is all it's the thought that counts for me you remember that you were appreciated no matter what.

adoptees dont want anything *special*. it makes us feel like losers. why do you want to do a gotcha day party? you say you want to make it for them but i think its about you. please. don't. do.it.